Out the green door you go, skipping and singing (tra-la-la-la-la-la-laaaa) into a sunny paradise just ripe for adventure. Green leaves everywhere - some big and wide, some long and skinny, some tiny and round - a veritable jungle of excessive foliage.
A pockmarked face looms out of the bushes. "What the hail are you doing heah?" Attached to the face is a scrawny, but strong-looking, man in bib overalls.
You jump back in surprise, accidently letting go of the green door's handle, and it slams shut, trapping you outside with this maniac.
"Nothing!" you say, "I mean... nuttin'!"
"Don't you try to talk my talk, slaw boy!"
"My name ain't Slaw Boy!"
"Well, whut the hail is yo name?"
"My name is Izzy Slak and I'll ask ya right back - Whut's yo name?"
"I see yo game, Slaw Boy, and I ain't playin'"
"I told you my name ain't Slaw Boy! My name is Izzy Slak!"
"Aw, shut yo trap, Slaw Boy! Or do I have to shut it for you?"
You aren't scared, though you are afraid that maybe you should be. You don't shut your trap. "You still ain't told me YOUR name..."
"Yo trap ain't shut, Slaw Boy, but I'll concede that I neglected to answer yo question about my appellation."
"Say, how come you know such a big word like 'appellation'? I coulda sworn you was some kind of ignorant hick."
"I AM an ignorant hick, Slaw Boy! And don't you forget it! I knows the word 'appellation' because I was born in the Appellation Mountains. You ever hear of them?"
"Sho nuff, mountain man. So you is a real hillbilly?"
"They call me the Barnacle Man. You can call me Pete, or Mister B. I don't care which. It don't make no difference."
You realize the old coot is not so crazy after all, just a little eccentric. "Okay, Pete. Say, you got any chow? I'm right hungry."
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