This choice: Make a sudden lunge for safety and run like hell • Go Back...
Chapter #5
Gaining Weight To Survive
by: Unknown
I always wanted to gain weight. Dust from outer-space made it more likely. My allergies never forgave me for that girl I left behind in Omaha.
But then she didn't like my business plan and thought better of it when she brought me a lifetime supply of yogurt.
Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do and become so heavy that when the earth stopped rotating you didn't raise so fast. In fact, I decided to strap
myself in to the steel bed in the cave. But when I went in and saw what the previous owner had done I swore off knives and horror shows on television. Which brings me back to the start of the story, I turned to M.S.N.B.C. and waited my fate. Fortunately, I had a television in the bedroom.
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