Ok, so, Jake is my big brother, right? You probably already guessed that. But did you guess that he's the meanest, rudest, not cool big brother ever? Probably not! Know why? Because you're not me, Carson Jasper, the most unlucky boy ever! I mean, really, what did I ever do to deserve a big brother like Jacob? Did I break his toys? No! Did I ruin his homework? Not even! Did I pull down his underwear 🩲 right in front of Sally, the girl next door? Ok, yes, I did, but it was an accident, I swear! I didn't know she was standing there! I just wanted to get him back for the wedgie he gave me, that's all! And, I mean, I can't really pull his underwear up, me being so short and all. So I did the only thing I could. I pulled them down 😂! I thought it would be funny to see his naked butt outside, since he likes to make me naked outside! I forgot that it would show everyone his pee pee 🫣, really I did! But it was fine because Sally wasn't even mad, not even a little bit. She just looked down at Jake and said something like, wow! Looks like you really are a big brother 😍! Ok, not really, she just looked down, right where his white undies used to be, with her eyes all big and wide 😲! It took Jake forever to pull them back up. She watched the whole time. Then, of course, Jake turned around to me.
I was dead. Very dead. And running. Very much running. Very much running fast and dead. "Jacob, don't hurt him!" But yeah, he caught me, so, he did. Pow💥! Smack🌟! Kachow⚡! Ok, maybe the noises weren't there, but he did hit me, and it hurt, a lot! He hit my arm and made it go totally dead, like, no feeling whatsoever. I yelled and screamed but he just hit me harder. Then, he did the worst, thing, ever!
Jacob Jasper, my big older brother, reached down, grabbed my undies 🩲, and gave me the biggest, wedgie, ever! In the front😫! Ow! Hey, OW! Stop it Jake! Then, he made it worse! Ouch, Jake, stop! He started bouncing me up, higher and higher, all by the front of my undies! It hurt! Like, a lot! I reached down to my balls, but he was squishing them, so, bad! They were like, totally tuning into mush! I said, ow, my nuts! Jake! My nuts! But he didn't even care. He just lifted me up even higher by my undies, really stretching them out. They were getting so long it was like turning them into string! But then, he made it even worse!
Jake reached down with one hand and smacked my nuts, hard! It was sooooo bad! I felt like I was gonna puke 🤢, but I didn't. I'm tough like that 😎. Anyway, then he pretended he cared. Uh oh! Did Carson's little balls get hit? Ohhhhh. Guess I better check to make sure they're all right 😏. No Jake, no! But I couldn't stop him.
Jake pulled down my shorts 🩳, all, the, way, down. And he still had my undies in a wedgie! In the front, remember? The wedgie that was like a string! So guess what strings can't cover? Yeah! A boy's dick and balls! MY dick and balls! So my shorts are down, all the way, and my undies are stretched up, all the way, and my dick and balls are hanging out, all the way! And Jake just starts laughing his ass off 😤!
Hey, Sally, what do ya think about Carson's little pecker 😂? No, way! This was not happening! Sally was running up to help me, and now she could see me almost naked 🫣!
Hey, Jake, leave him alone. Seriously, it's not funny.
Yes, I knew she liked me. It was probably from that time I just got out of the shower and was gonna get dressed in my room, but then I started looking at myself in the mirror. I mean, I was looking good! So I took off my towel to look everywhere! And since I was looking at it, I kinda sorta mighta grabbed my dick and started playing with it a little bit ☺️. And wouldn't you know it? My window was open and there was Sally, watching the whole thing 🫠. I freaked out and grabbed my towel and ran back in the bathroom. Stupid, stupid, stupid! But yeah, she never said anything so I kinda forgot about that, until right now, when she could see my dick, again!
Seriously, Jake, put him down! You're probably hurting him down there 🫢.
Yeah, I knew she liked me. Yah, Jake, c'mon, put me down, please?
Alright, but first you gotta choose, left, or right?
Ummm, right?
Ok, so, this is where Jake is a big jerk. He totally punched me in the nuts 🥜, really freaking hard 😡, like, so hard I wanted to scream, but couldn't because when he hit them, I swear my soul left my body 💀. So I'm just hanging there by my undies, in the air, with my dick and balls all hanging out for Sally to see, and totally getting my nuts crushed 😰. And just when I though it couldn't get worse, gravity got me.
RIIIIP!
Yep. Jake keep pulling up and ripped my undies clean off 🩲. My bare feet touched the ground, and Jake pulled up and took my shirt up too. For some stupid reason I lifted my arms up like I had a chance of getting them back. Nope. Jake pulled everything up and off. I stood there, in front of Sally, completely naked 😱 And like an idiot, I just stood there with my arms up, trying to get my clothes back while Jake lifted them higher and higher, just out of reach. She probably saw my dick and balls flopping around like a sad hot dog with a couple of squished meatballs underneath 🌭🧆
That was last year. I was nine. Nine, for crying out loud! But now that I'm ten, I bet I can get Jake back. I just need a chance. He's been to summer camp and Mom says he's coming back early. She says he got hurt on the rappelling or something like that. Whatever that means. I hope he hurt his nuts.
Nope. It's his arms. Holy crap, I don't think I've ever seen a real cast before, and he's got two! And they're both kinda stuck up in the air. He can't even bend them down. Woooow! That's so cool! But also that kinda sucks, ha ha! I bet he can't even wipe his own butt 🤭! Ohmygosh. Maybe he can't even pee either! Ha ha! Probably has to sit down now like a girl 😂
Carson, stop staring and help your brother get to his room.
Ok, I helped, he's fine. Sheesh! It's not like he's helpless and can't touch himself anywhere below his waist 😳. Oh. My. Gosh. He's totally helpless. He can't touch himself anywhere! I just checked! He can barely move a spoon to eat! There's no way he's getting dressed, putting on his pants, or even pulling them up if I pull them down 🤭! Ohhhhh, ho, ho, Jake, your time has come!
Now is where I get you back. Now I make you pay for smacking my nuts and stripping me naked in front of Sally. Oh, sweet Sally, if only you could see Jake like this. Wait! I can totally let you see Jake like this! And I can pull down his pants, give him a big front wedgie that turns his underwear to string up on his dick and balls, and then rip them right off, strip him down to nothing and make him dance around, begging for his clothes 🤣! Yesssssssss! This is going to be great!
Hmmm, what would I do first to Jake 🤔? What? Crying? Jake? Wtf?
Please, Carson, you, you gotta help me?
Ok, he's a big jerk but it's kinda hard to be mad when he cries 🥲
Carson, I, I, I don't know how to say this, I, I,
For the love of God, what???
I, um, I can't, ummm, well, I mean, I've tried, but I can't, ummm
Whaaaat? What is it, just say it!
I, uh, I can't touch my dick
Well, yah! Of course! I mean, you broke your arms and they're stuck. What'd you expect?
Well, I mean, I know your probably don't do this yet, but, I'm, I'm fourteen and so...
Whaaaaaat? Earth to Jacob! You gonna make sense today?
Look, I, I just need, grrrr! I just need to touch my dick sometimes, ok? But now I kinda can't, and it, well, it...
Sucks?
Oh if only.
Huh?
Carson, please just listen. I'll do anything. Anything you want. Just help me figure out how to touch my dick again. I gotta, I just. I gotta jerk off.
So. He really is a jerk, at least, he likes to be a jerk, or I mean, have it jerked, or wait, likes to jerk it?
Jake, ummm. I've never done that with someone. I, uhh, don't really know what to do.
Listen, listen! I'll do whatever you want! Chores, I'll pay you money, let you have my room, my dessert, ANYTHING!
Anything?
Yes, anything! Please, just help me jerk off!
Wait, do you want me to touch it? Are you like, gay?
I'm not gay, Carson! I'm just a guy! I need to jerk off! I tried it with a pillow, I tried getting the sheets just right, I tried everything I can think of! I can't do it! I need my hands!
Ok, now I'm thinking this is totally it. I've totally got Jake by the balls now 😈.
Ok, Jake, I'll help you out. Mom was saying I should help you get undressed for the shower, so yeah, I can like, spray you or get the towel around you or something. But, uhhh? What do I get?
What the hell, bro? You want me to jerk you off too or something?
Ohmygosh. This is getting crazy.
No, just, you just, have to do what I say.
Fine! Done! Anything! Just get me off!
Wow. A blank check to do anything to him. Where should I start?
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