(chapter originally by: worstfailure)
The Small Saints Spa was located halfway up a mountain overlooking the city. The pristine white building was a 30,000 square foot resort that looked like it was pulled straight out of Mount Olympus. It offered a sauna, massages, tanning beds, mud baths, yoga sessions, meditation classes, an indoor gymnasium, an outdoor pool, fine dining and practically every other amenity under the sun.
It was a paradise. For the women who came to stay there at least. For the men, they would be the ones working night and day to pamper the female guests and see to their every whim. It was all part of a tiny's initiation into the Used Party.
As Izzy pulled up to the entrance, Stan saw a fountain in the driveway with a gold statue of a woman at its center. She was depicted like a flawless goddess standing within the streams of water. Tiny, featureless men carved out of marble prostrated themselves before her, bowing in prayer.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Stan said.
Izzy rolled her eyes. "You're such a prude, Padding. It's guys like you with the biggest stick up their asses that turn out to be the biggest pervs of all."
"I'm not a perv!" Stan snapped. "And this isn't about the Used being exhibitionists. It's nobody's business what two or more consenting adults do to show their love. I'm just concerned that not all the tinies here are consenting."
Izzy shook her head. "You are going to feel like the stupidest guy in the world when this investigation's over and you find no evidence of cult activity. You think on that as you pamper me these next two months. Maybe you'll come out of it with an open mind about the Used Party and a new appreciation to be saddled with such a stunning partner."
"Stunningly lazy," Stan quipped.
Izzy narrowed her eyes. "You're lucky you need to be 3D to complete your initiation, pipsqueak. Speaking of, wear this." Izzy reached into her cleavage and pulled out a gold necklace small enough for a tiny to wear. "It's the symbol of the Used Party."
"I know," Stan said, taking it. "I read the briefing." Stan examined the necklace. "I still don't understand why the heart's upside down."
Izzy smirked. "It's not a heart."
Stan looked at it again and groaned as he put it on, eliciting a giggle from Izzy. She took him in one hand and her bags in the other. Stan didn't have any bags. Tinies weren't allowed to. No cell phones or computers either. Supposedly the spa provided everything a tiny would need.
The inside of the spa was all white walls and ceiling, shiny tiled floors, marble pillars, and golden chandeliers and furniture. As they approached the front desk, Stan was surprised to see what looked like a tiny house positioned beside the bell. When Izzy rang it, the door to the small house opened and a handsome, middle-aged tiny walked out wearing a smile and a set of all flesh-colored clothes.
"Isabella Lopez," the tiny said, reverently, like he was speaking to a goddess. He got down on both knees and bowed his head. "I am not worthy to be in your presence."
Stan flinched as Izzy let out a girlish squeal of delight. "Uncle Carlo! It's been forever!" She offered him her free hand in a practiced gesture and waited for him to kiss her fingers before getting up.
"I can't tell you what joy it brings me to see you again, Isabella. You've grown into such a beautiful young woman, as lovely as your mother. I was delighted to hear you were coming here with a new initiate. The Used has always gotten valuable members from the Lopez's recruitment efforts."
"Hm? Oh, right!" Izzy said, apparently forgetting Stan was even there. "Stan Padding, this is my Uncle Carlo. No blood relation, but he's definitely family. He's my father's best friend. He's the one who invited him to join the Used Party."
"How is Tomas holding up these days?" Carlo asked.
"Same as always. He's holding up my mom's ass!" Both Izzy and Carlo laughed hard at that like it was an old joke.
"Forgive my rudeness, Initiate," Carlo said, turning to address Stan. "It's been so long since I've seen my niece. She said your name was Stan?"
"If that's what she says my name is, then it must be true," Stan said, quoting some horrible pamphlets he'd read to prepare for his undercover role.
"Well said," Carlo beamed. "And I see you're wearing our symbol. Such a beautiful piece of work, isn't it?"
"Oh yes," Stan said, pretending to admire the necklace. "Such a... beautiful butt."
Carlo arched an eyebrow. "Interesting. It looks like a butt to you?"
"Isn't it?" Stan asked, worried he'd already made a mistake.
"Don't worry!" the older tiny laughed. "It's open to interpretation. To some, it looks like an upside down heart, symbolizing how man's love for women have endured even after our world was turned upside down. Personally? I see it as a gorgeous pair of breasts."
"Bet I know why Stan sees it as an ass!" Izzy said cheekily, enjoying her partner's discomfort. "It's cause he's become so well acquainted with this ol' girl!" she said, giving her meaty booty a slap. "My ass just had that effect on him. Exposure to it these past few months awakened something in him. That's why he's decided to retire from the police force, so he can start worshipping this booty full time."
The idea of doing any such thing revolted Stan, but they needed a cover story and when Izzy proposed it, the Commissioner agreed despite Stan's protests. Stan suspected forcing him to wait on her hand and foot was Izzy's way of getting revenge for Stan inadvertently calling her family members cultists. Izzy and Carlo had been laughing with the joke but Stan had been so wrapped up in his distaste at spending these next two months pampering his pig of a partner, that he realized he hadn't laughed along with them. Even worse, Carlo was giving him a suspicious look for not laughing along with the woman he was going to be used by.
Stan needed to say something to salvage the situation, quick!
Does he succeed?
1) Yes. Stan smoothly says he didn't laugh because serving Izzy's butt is too wonderful a idea to laugh at. This throws off Carlo's suspicion and he allows Stan to serve Izzy.
2) No. Stan goofs up his response and Carlo gets more suspicious. Instead he makes Stan go through "orientation" before Stan can serve Izzy.
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