[Suggested music - WarioWare: Smooth Moves - Ashley Bumper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcmEnGp2... ]
After his day out in the city, Wario wheeled back home. That haunted mansion was awfully alluring - and compared to Mona's workplaces, didn't have as many people wandering around. And really, what harm could Ashley do?
He waited for night to fall, stretching his muscles in preparation, before putting himself through the yet-to-be-named shrinking device. He jumped into the cannon, pointed towards the starry sky. With a small blast, the bandit landed right at the jungle of grass outside her house. It gave him cover as he crept in through a hole by the front door, entering the great house.
"Excellent! Wahaha - URP." Realizing that he should keep his voice down, Wario covered his mouth - but continued muffled laughter.
Dim candle lights reflected off the little biker helmet, waddling across the mansion's labyrinthine passages. Its wearer trod with the stealth of a cat hunting a mouse - or hunting lasagna, at least. The fibers on the carpeting below were tall grass reaching his ankles. Itchy, damp grass that tinted in fake blood.
Despite the diminished stature of his shoes, each step seemed to birth a new echo of tortured, shrieking creaks from the aging floor. Hearing the ghastly noises, this burglar gained a strong desire to tear his own feet off. That'd teach 'em for messing up such a delicate stealth operation.
Through the holes and folds, he entered a hall wider than three football fields. The faint light grew brighter. Beheaded dolls sat on both sides, in carefully arranged seats sorted by height, resembling jurors. "Yeah, that's not ominous at all..." Within one's stuffing, he spotted something glimmering. A spider scurried away in a rush, knocking the man from his legs.
"WARGH! Watch where you're going, eight-eyes!"
He was about to take chase; until a tremble seizing the floorboards knocked him on his rear. A pale hand, large enough to scoop his house up, emerged from the shadows. With no hesitation, the bug scaled the slender middle finger, resting in the palm's curves as if it was a pillow. It lifted the spider, high above Wario, as another careful hand emerged to gently stroke its furry abdomen.
Jumping into a mutilated toy rabbit for cover, a cool sensation rushed down the thief's spine. When he gazed up, he shivered uncontrollably. She'd come. Flowing raven pigtails, merging with the shadows themselves; an orange tiara that spread out with the grace of a flower's petals; loafers with straps, great hills in the crimson fields, immovable monoliths; and her smooth hands curling and uncurling around the spider, each twitch of the digits deliberate and measures. An enormous, heavy dress covered her body, topped with a little neckerchief adorned with a tiny skull decoration. Her undergarments were partly visible behind the frightening lengths of uniform pantyhose; black silk, with frills around her perky buttocks. A full moon shrouded in mists looked less distant and smaller than her expressionless face. She lovingly petted the little creature... And tossed it over her shoulder into a bubbling cauldron.
The apprentice conjurer didn't even look in as she stirred the potion, vast waves erupting from her slender arms. Jars of assorted jellybeans, mandrakes, Fronks, and vegan eyeballs rested precariously in dusty shelves above. "Spider: check. Next ingredient."
Wario reeled away, backing into something hard inside the stuffing. This little girl he knew so well, the grumpy little baby bat, had become someone - something terrifying. A majestic, fear-inducing behemoth, whose name was only be mentioned in hushed whispers behind locked doors lest they invoke a deadly hex...
"Ashley!" Red flew in circles above her head, sweating bullets. "I can't find it! It's gone!"
Ashley didn't move, but Wario swore the girl grew even more towering as she heard the report. "What."
"Eh... Urhn..." The imp fidgeted. On instinct, Wario turned his head to the side; and noticed the glimmering thing poking his side. Brilliant, pale yellow, shaped like a banana - it made the fear in his little body evaporate. He found new courage.
The witch stirred harder, her delicate fingers clenched around the spoon, making small explosions emerge from her pot. Her hair magically flashed white. "WHAT did you lose, Red?"
Her assistant bowed. "The Crescent Moon Shard! The priceless, rare mineral that falls from the heavens once in a millennium, in the center of Crescent Moon Village! Your mixture's final crucial ingredient!"
With a blink, the dark-haired sorceress leaned to her knees. Her breath cleared fields of dust from the floor. "You gave it to my bunny for proper cushioning, remember?" She reached inside the toy, removing its stuffing....
...Not noticing that a shrunken intruder was already making a run with it, blazing down the hall. Wario didn't even bother looking backwards once he heard that this shiny, pokey thing was that valuable. Her position revealed more of her undergarments beneath the dress, as her great backside bulged out, stretching the coal-colored fabric in perfect hills.
The headless toy bunny fell to the floor, unstuffed and shriveled. "...It's gone." The young woman took a step forward. Thunder cracked from her great, flat sole as it drove into the ground. If Wario's little feet had made the boards groan, her steps turned them into wailing, shuddering messes that bounced in terror, trying to escape her wrath. Again, magic bleached her hair into silvery tones.
Red rubbed his head, forcing a smile. "Haha... Ahahah... *ulp* I'll f-find another for you!" He jumped on the windowsill, transforming into a broomstick. "What's one thousand years to a master witch who's going on five hundred? Haha, it'll be a snap!" He rushed out into the starry sky, sobbing.
Watching until her demonic companion became a little red spot, Ashley sighed. Within her palm's folds, she felt a tickle when she clenched her hand. Something rough against her smooth skin. She held it up to her crimson eyes, which blinked in surprise - before narrowing. "I'm not alone..."
It was a tiny black hair, hardened and jagged with mustache wax.
WWW
Chilling drafts brushed through Wario's facial hair, as he made a sharp turn at another hallway. Every tremble set him off-guard, anxious a massive witch-in-training might emerge from the next turn; but as he approached the hole he'd entered from, his fears shrunk away.
"Wah! Wahaha! Easiest getaway ever!" He set his sights for the hole in the wall.
With a dark glow, the exit began... sinking. It descended into the ground as if the floor was sucking it in. A magic hex to ensnare him!
The intruder snarled in shock. "What?! That's not fair! Exits aren't supposed to close themselves!" He dove for the cursed mouse-hole, watching the wall descend. He'd be able to make it out by crawling below the lowering barricade, but the Crescent Moon Shard wouldn't be able to fit.
To stay trapped in a manor of titanic terror, with a horrifyingly gigantic girl who cast the meanest and least-controllable spells in Diamond City... or leave without treasure? Wario pondered this deeply for a long, hard split second, then turned his broad back to the cavern. He had to find another way; one where he escaped full-handed.
Ashley's mansion twisted outwards in dizzying patterns before him. Dozens of spiraling pathways spread out before his tiny eyes. Every shaded corner had something moving - something huge moving. It felt as if each of the house's rooms trembled unsteadily in a slow, measured pattern of BOOMs, ready to fall apart at the whim of its owner. This was her world, and he was merely another toy in it, a slave to her magic. Regardless, Wario faced forward bravely, took a deep breath, and walked in.
There was money at stake.
Three paths stuck out. One to his left littered with old, yellowed pages, probably leading to some study; another, at the right, with crumbs sprinkled around, pointing to a kitchen; and a third, in front of him that led to a door marked with a skull and crossbones. The thief decided to...   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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