After the name of the game was announced, the ring in the center of the Coliseum opened up, and a red, cushioned kline, a type of reclining couch used for eating, rose up on an elevator. This kline was different though, a golden arm was attached to it, and was suspended over where a person's head would be. Next to the couch was a table with a bowl on top, filled with bunches of grapes.
"Would the earth goddess, Lila, come to the center of the arena please stage please?"
You had a bad feeling as one of Dracana's two cronies marched off the stage. The earth goddess was a gigantic, green-skinned sow with blue hair, decorated with flowers. As she marched to the center of the Coliseum, the crowd cheered and giant screens hanging on the walls, zoomed in on her as she waved at the crowd. Her human, a kind from the same stock as Romulus, stood fear-free on her shoulder. You noticed a pair of pink boots on his feet, making an otherwise serious-looking man, look kind of ridiculous.
The announcer explained the rules of the game as Lila neared the center. "This game was submitted by Lila. As custom, she and her human will go first. The rules of this game are simple, each mortal will be suspended over Lila's mouth and try to feed her as many grapes as possible while an hour glass counts down. The challenge is over once all the sand, or all the grapes, run out. Or, if the poor, little mortal falls, in which case..."
The announcer paused and Lila chomped her teeth, causing the crowd to go wild.
"As always, goddesses are reminded not to go easy on their mortals, or they will be banned from future games."
Lila rolled her eyes and attached her grapes to the golden hand over the couch. She then plucked her mortal off her shoulder and put him on top of her snack, laying down afterwards and opening her mouth. The camera closed-in on her mortal, but he still seemed remarkably carefree. Presumably they had practiced this themselves.
"Three, two, one..." the announcer called.
BANG! A gunshot went off and the announcer said, "GO!"
Lila's tiny human scurried amidst the grapes. You were surprised at the level of skill he showed, climbing down grapes the size of boulders until he reached the bottom. After getting a sturdy hold on the branch, the small man began stomping on a grape, his mistress's mouth, eagerly anticipating a fruity snack. You were amazed that within two solid kicks, the grape disconnected and disappeared down her gullet. How strong was this guy?! Steadily the human went from grape to grape, stomped on it to send it falling to his mistress, then moved on. He was making remarkable time too. You wondered if he would succeed in actually feeding her the entire bunch when he landed on one grape, only for it to snap before he could get a steadily hold.
Man and grape plummeted, but even as he fell the mortal didn't scream at all. You pitied the poor bastard, even if his defeat meant good things for you. Even if being digested was survivable, it wasn't exactly a pain free process. You needn't have bothered worrying about him. As his mistress's mouth loomed beneath him, the man clicked the heels of his pink boots together and he took flight. Lila's teeth chomped beneath him, but the man was out of reach and flying back to the bunch, where he resumed his grape stomping.
You watched the whole thing dumbfounded.
"MAGIC?! HE CAN DO MAGIC?!"
"Don't be stupid," Pearl said. "Humans can't perform magic... They can use magical artifacts, though. And the rules don't forbid them outright, only limits them to one per human. It gives mortals a fighting chance."
"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE?!"
"Don't you think I tried?!" Pearl snapped. "I told you I only just got qualified for these games! They were all sold out, so you're just gonna have to do this the hard way."
You felt nauseous as your fellow champion finished the challenge. By the time the game was over, three-quarters of the bunch had vanished into his mistress's gut. The five judges calculated his score, and the screens displayed 38 points. Lila shrugged then got her human out of the grapes and placed him on the table, where he bowed.
"Okay, relax," you told yourself. "You'll just watch the other competitors and use them to come up with a strategy. You'll have plenty of time."
"Now for our next contestant," the announcer said. "A newcomer to the Goddess Games, ladies, please welcome the ocean goddess, Pearl!"
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" you screamed involuntarily.
Apparently, the sound system was better than you thought as your voice rang out in the Coliseum. The crowd and fellow contestants laughed, Dracana loudest of all. Pearl blushed, shooting you a furious glare. You flinched at the intensity of her glare. She marched quickly offstage, replaced the half-eaten grapes with a fresh bunch, and placed you inside them.
"Thanks, Guppy," Lila said to Pearl. "He looks delicious!" she said, licking her lips.
You shuddered and Pearl put her face near your insignificant body. "Don't. Blow this," she murmured then went back on stage.
"Ok," you said to yourself in a panic. "I can do this! No problem! No problem at all! Worst case scenario, if I fail I'll just be in for an eternity of suffering at the hands of a vengeful goddess... I need to lie down."
Before you could though, the gun went off nearly giving you a heart attack from the sound. You were on a grape at the top of the bunch and for a couple seconds you weren't sure what to do. The crowd jeered you're lack of movement, and beneath you, Lila said, "Hurry up, shrimp, I'm wasting away down here! Get to feeding me! Unless you just wanna hope in right now?" Lila opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out obscenely.
You slapped yourself to regain your composure and, with no better plan in place, you began stomping on the grape you were on just as Lila's human had. You figured those boots must have enhanced his strength as well as giving him the ability to fly, because it was much harder for you to dislodge a grape than it was for him. Either that or you really were this much of a weakling. After ten stomps, finally the damn thing gave way. Unfortunately for you, the grape didn't land on Lila's face, it bounced off its fellow and landed on her cheek, then rolled off and fell on the floor. Judging from the boos of the crowd, you figured that meant it wouldn't count. Lila rolled her eyes. Not a strong start.
You remembered how Lila's human had started at the top, but began feeding her from the bottom of the bunch. You began crawling down to mimic his pattern. Unlike Lila's champion, however, you had no magic, flying boots, so the fear of falling and being devoured was much more real to you than it had been to him. You made your way cautiously downwards, all while hearing the jeers of the crowd. After what felt like several minutes you reached the bottom. You were already exhausted from the climb and had no idea how much time you had left. Dripping with sweat, you wrapped your arms around the vine for a good hold then began stomping on the grape. The good news was that this grape came away at only two kicks. The bad news was that you weren't prepared for deliberately kicking your "floor" out from under you, and began sliding down the vine as the grape fell, your sweat-slick hands and arms giving you poor purchase. You eventually came to a stop, but only at the very edge of the vine, your legs kicking in thin air.
Beneath you, Lila loudly chomped on her grape. A second later.
"UUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!"
The sow let loose a mighty belch that stank of grapes. The sound shook you, and the smell made you dizzy. Lila smacked her lips. "Great appetizer... Now how about a little protein?"
Only the abject humiliation of breaking down crying in front of the entire pantheon stopped you from doing just that. For a wild instant you wondered if you should just let go and get it over with. Who knows, maybe you could make a comeback in the next round? You looked to your side and saw Pearl's face on the arena screen. One look at that was enough to get you to reconsider. Who knows what she'd do if you just gave up.
Slowly, painfully slowly, you began climbing back up the vine. The crowd was going impatient as they quickly took up the chant of, "EAT HIM! EAT HIM! EAT HIM!"
"I hate the gods," you mutter.
Just then you reached up, only for your hand to give way. You start sliding back down and let out a panicked cry as Lila opened wide.
Can you stop yourself and survive the challenge?
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