"Oh, no." Well, Nike and Nemesis were sure as hell wrong, but for once in my life, Id've given anything to stay squished between the two of them. "Oh, friggin' NO..."
Of anything to start off the season with, of any diva or political figure I could get to sit on my lap with their fat ass, a cobra slinked in through the doors. One almost as tall as Miss Holmes, and just like Miss Holmes was ridiculously fat, with a heaping asteroid of a big belly covered in grayish-brown scales that scraped loud along the hardwood floor of the White Brimstone. Her breasts were absolutely enormous, and otherwise the only part of her body clothed by a taut black T-shirt with garbled silver lettering spray painted along her chest.
From a few years of experience, it'd gotten to be a dead giveaway that you'd be in for a pretty bad day if a snake came slithering in. I'd been sat on by celebrities, nearly been swiped away for standing a few feet close to the buffet, and one time wasn't even as lucky and ended up trapped inside some dumbass horse's stomach for two days, but snakes? Snakes were pretty much the only kind of guest I'd immediately come to fear, especially cobras. It sure as hell didn't help that this one had a friggin' skull painted on her face.
But unlike any of the guests in general we'd get, she actually had three humans at her side walking into the restaurant. They weren't even carrying around any baggage or taking notes as advisors would, they just looked like they were with her for a meal.
"Ooh..." Nike or Nemesis cringed, and for the first time I'd ever seen any of the Dectuplets do, the two waddled away, abandoning me.
"Wait, don't...!" But there wasn't a single waiter in the White Brimstone closer than I was to the snake woman waiting at the podium. "Oh..." Come to think of it, Miss Holmes' perfume smells kinda nice...
But alas, my muscle memory got the better of me and tugged me towards the front doors. Yet as I approached the quadrio, I tried to guide my attention towards one of her humans.
"Good morning, sirs and...madame, how may I help the four of you?" I struggled to smooth out my shaky posture and voice, but they didn't seem to question me.
"One reservation for a 'Toxic Nightshade', please?" He asked.
"That'd be..." I whipped out my tablet, scrolling through the list of guests for today. Sure enough, one of the reservations bore the distinct name. "...Kelly and Eric Monroe, Matt Ericks, and Nick Bastion?"
"That's the one."
"Of course. right this way, sir."
Table forty eight, one of the tables in the furthest corner of the joint. I lead the way for them, with the three other humans standing frontline on their snake's belly, who, to my surprise, I could hear keeping up a slow pace in order to let them keep up a natural pace, which for her was a half of fraction of a decimal of a crawl.
Either out of curiosity or tempting fear, I couldn't help but look back up at her. Given her reptile senses, she easily noticed my movement and glanced back down, and of all things, smiled at me. It wasn't some vicious snarl or predatory grin, but something like a silent, friendly hello.
Huh. First snake I'd ever seen.
"Alright, table forty eight." I guess I should've instantly know where they'd sit. It'd been arranged and set as one table over thirty feet tall, with a more human-geared setup put together on top. "May I interest you in a ladd-"
But when I turned back, the snake was already busy picking the three of them up one at a time, setting them on the table. "Pardon?"
"...never mind."
She continued setting them at their table on hers, and I politely excused myself back to the kitchen as they looked through the menu. I didn't bother to stick around, but I didn't try to sprint away, either.
However, when I got in, every single eye of the staff was staring at me. Most of them looked absolutely flabbergasted, as if my coming back to work alive was the work of some witchcraft, while the others seemed pitiful. The only one who wasn't gawking happened to lay a clawed hand on my shoulder, and I glanced back at Candace.
"You alright there, buddy?" She asked knowingly, her expression somber.
"Yeah, actually. I'm alive, aren't I?"
She knelt down, getting onto my level. "Wanna stick around here till they go?"
"Well..." I looked out the window back at their table. To add more icing on the cake, she was chatting with them, and laughing.
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