"Hey mom, is it okay if I cut you in half?"
"Sure, which way?"
"Which way? Well, I was thinking of doing it at your waist, but I guess if you're open to other options..."
"Oh, such as?"
"Well, you remember those weird health insurance ads where people would do two things at once by splitting in two vertically? I'd like to try that out."
"Hey, take your pick. I don't mind either way."
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