Mega Butt’s steel like grip tightened around Cat Girl’s throat, her finger straining in the least, as Cat Girl clawed at her gloved hand. Mega Butt simply laughed quietly and menacingly, as someone with her power didn’t feel a thing. She tightened her grip again, forcing Cat Girl to redouble her efforts. Mega Butt’s followers continued to chant the hymns of their goddess, as she looked deep into Cat Girl’s eyes and whispered, “I’m going to take my time.”
Mega Butt reflected back on how she had gotten to this point, about to kill her arch enemy, a church thousands strong worshipping her, the subjugation of the other so-called villains, and the destruction of the city. Cat Girl and Bird By had never truly defeated her in the past, only force her retreat. She was a force of nature, a Goddess, and she would not be denied. She smiled and cackled at the idea that a gassy, little high school student had come so far in such a short time.
Mega Butt had been born with the unfortunate name of Chelsea BigButner, it was Scottish, and a severe case of chronic flatulence. She had been gifted in chemistry and during her senior year of high school, the lonely friendless girl, sought to cure her condition. She had blamed her condition all her life for her lack of friends, her moist ripe farts as being what prevented others form getting close, never once considering that it was because the was a spoiled rich princess, used to mommy and daddy spoiling her to make up for her flatulence. It couldn’t be her, no way, it had to b her farting.
She had labored for more than a few months on her formula, a formula that would counteract the copious amounts of methane that built up inside her digestive system. And now on a Friday afternoon after school she was done, except for the testing. “Well there’s only one way to test it,” she shrugged putting the vial to her lips. She was just about to drink it when Britney, John, Dave, and Sarah; the jock, skater, quarterback, and pothead respectively who all ran together; came into the chemistry lab. “What’s up stinky butt?” John teased.
“Dude that’s not cool,” Dave chastised his friend. “Sorry Chelsea, but what have you got there?”
“Nothing,” Chelsea said guarding her secret.
“Come on Chelsea, we’re not going to make fun,” Sarah told her.
“Yeah I’m sorry about before,” John apologized. “What’s with the vial?”
“If you must know,” Chelsea began condescendingly, “I think this will cure my chronic flatulence.”
“Really? You think so?” Britney asked excited.
“Of course I do,” Chelsea said dismissively. She missed Dave elbowing John. John had been the one to talk them all into going in and saying hi, trying to make friends with Chelsea one more time. John had always been kid hearted, and his friends were decent people who trued to be cool with everyone. Stereotypical roles were not often found in their high school.
“If you can do that for everyone with your condition, then you could be rich!” Britney told her encouragingly.
“I never thought of that,” Chelsea admitted seeing dollar signs. “I can make a ton of money and be done with this stupid school and everyone in it!” The four friends looked around at each other, remembering why they didn’t talk with Chelsea much. “Well here’s to my fortune!” she said upturning the vial and drinking its contents down.
“How do you feel?” Sarah asked. “Gassy?”
Chelsea clutched her stomach and bent over in pain, “Yes. what did you do to my formula, you bastards?”
“Us?” Britney asked confused.
“Yeah we didn’t do anything Chelsea honest,” Dave told her.
“You must have done something! It couldn’t be my fault!” she screamed, as her ass tore through her pants enlarging to 5 times its normal size.
“What’s happening to her butt?” Sarah yelled.
“You assholes! I wish I could kill you all for this!” Chelsea screamed, before she began to fart. Her fart built to a howling crescendo before erupting explosively with its built up gas.
The school had been destroyed, rubble thrown for miles and the 46 students who had stayed after and the 19 faculty member were all dead except one. Chelsea pushed over 6 tons of rubble from on top of her, recognizing some of it as the mural wall form the school’s top floor. When it began to drop back down towards her, she instinctively whirled and farted, destroying it. As tiny little pieces floated down to the ground around her, pieces no smaller then toothbrush bristles, she surveyed the destruction around her, and took stock of how she was okay.
“That wall felt like it weighed nothing,” she observed. “I’m super strong, and if surviving a 4 story drop and getting buried in rubble is any indication, I’m invulnerable too. Chelsea began to fart, a low rhythmic fart, and noticed she began to hover from the ground from it. “I can fly too,” she said awed. “This is all because of my new big butt, my mega butt,” she surmised. “I’m like a goddess among men.” She began to grin evilly, “I’m a Goddess among men.” She farted a little harder sending herself higher into the air. “These fools will worship me, they will worship my mega butt. I am MEGA BUTT and I will be worshipped,” she laughed maniacally as she used her farts to soar into the sky determined to find out what other powers her Mega Butt had bestowed upon her.