"As I told you earlier," Bill said quietly, "my machine was to project
memories." He paused for a moment, then continued in a quiet tone almost as
if he was talking to himself. "The power being turned up to far, and then
the power surge..." He winced then shook his head. "It went too far. Way
too far."
"Get to the point!" Katie suddenly snapped, echoing exactly what I'd been
thinking. "Can you get us back to normal?"
"I'm afraid that it isn't that simple" Bill admitted quietly. "The
accident didn't just swap your minds like you seem to believe..." Once again he
paused, then he suddenly turned to the computer monitor and pushed some
buttons on the side. Two strange squiggly lines popped up on it, running
from one side of the screen to the other. "This," he pointed at the top
line, "Is my brainwave pattern. And this..." he gestured at the second one
which was somewhat different than the first "Is Jason's." He paused for a
moment. "You notice that they are different. Everyone's is a little
different, sort of like fingerprints."
"And?" Mom and I both snapped at once.
"And these," Bill said as he pushed another button and brought up four
more lines, "are all of yours."
I stared at the wave patterns for a moment then said "But they all look
the same."
"Exactly." Bill said sadly. "The overload transferred more than just one
memory. It transferred all of them. It projected all of Jason's memories,
thoughts, personality... everything... into all of you. It even..." Bill
turned his head away but not before I saw the tears coming down his cheeks,
"It even overwrote all the memories and personalities you already had. And
as far as I can tell... it did so permanently."
For several moments I just stared at Bill in stunned disbelief, trying to
make sense of what he'd just said. But as much as I didn't want to
understand, as I didn't want to know what he'd said, I did.
"Oh my God" I whispered in horror. "Then I'm not really Jason? I'm just
Judy but think that I'm Jason?" I shook my head, feeling more than a little
ill. "I think I'm going to be sick."
Bill sat down for a moment, looking extremely sad. "In a way, though it's
a lot more complicated than that. As far as I can tell, all the memories,
personality, and even the way you... Jason thinks were all transferred over.
When I tested you all, the answers were all very consistent. Even your
brain patterns are now the same. Effectively, you are all Jason now." Bill
broke down and started crying, "It's as if you all have the same soul, and
God help me..." Bill sobbed, "as if I killed you all. Mary, Ted, Katie and
Judy are gone, and it's all my fault."
"Holy shit." I whispered, not noticing that the others were all doing the
same thing. My legs felt week and I sat down uncomfortably. How could that
be? I wasn't Judy. I was Jason. I remembered my life. When Judy and I
fought, when Katie was brought home for the first time, and even the first
time I'd had an erection. This wasn't my body. It was my sister's body, not
mine. "No" I whispered as I stared at my hands in renewed horror, "I'm
not Judy. I'm not. I'm me. Jason." Then I dropped my head into my hands
and started crying uncontrollably.
Eventually I stopped crying and pulled myself together, though I wasn't
sure how long it had taken. I looked at the others, seeing that they were
all in a similar condition. They all had red teary eyes, though the other
me... the real me wasn't quite as bad. He was staring at us all in shock
and disbelief. I gave him a weak smile, wondering exactly what I could
possibly say to him. To any of them. According to Bill, they were all me.
When we'd all calmed down enough, we started cautiously testing each
other. Asking questions that only I... that only Jason would know the answers
to. We even asked each other questions that I... that Jason wouldn't know the
answers to, but the real people would. I asked Mom "How do you make a
turkey casserole?", which was one of her favorite recipes.
Her answer was "I haven't got a clue", which wasn't a surprise. I gave
similar answers when they asked me about Judy's first kiss and other
personal questions.
Slowly we were all forced to accept that Bill seemed to be right. That we
all possessed the same mind, or at least copies of the same mind. I'd never
been more spooked in my life. It's stranger than you can imagine to know
that the people you are talking to are all thinking the same thing you are,
that they are you.
Throughout this all, Bill just sat in his chair and stared at us. He
looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Obviously he blamed
himself, which wasn't surprising. I did too a little, though I was still too
much in shock to blame him too much. "It's my fault." he whispered more
than once.
"Is there anything you can do?" the other Jason asked. "Can't you turn
them back to normal?"
Bill shook out of it long enough to shake his head. "Maybe, but I don't
know. I don't think so." He frowned, then added "As far as I can tell the
original minds were written over completely. Maybe something of the
originals might remain buried somewhere, but I didn't see any signs of them
during the testing." Bill sighed. "There's nothing I can do. As far as I
can tell, this is permanent."
I gulped, wondering which idea I feared most. Being trapped for the rest
of my life in Judy's body, or finding out that he could "cure" us. After
all, if Bill could do that, wouldn't that mean that "I" would die. That my
mind, my memories and my personality, everything that made up "me" would
cease to exist. And if given the choice, would I sacrifice all of that to
bring Judy back to life? I didn't know. All I knew was that neither
solution was very appealing.
Finally we all said goodbye to Bill and started on our way back home. He'd
promised that he'd look into a way to fix things, but I seriously doubted
he'd find it, and could tell that the others shared my doubts. For the
moment, all we could do was return to the house and try to make some kind of
sense of what had happened.
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