The first few days were rough. Sarah remained distraught alternating periods of withdrawn silence and outbursts of tears or anger. You tried to push through, talking to and comforting her as best you could. And the hospital provided a psychiatrist to help her with therapy and medication. You don't know what made the difference but on the fourth day Sarah just seemed much better. While there was clearly still a sadness about her, she was calm and accepting, even giving you a slight smile.
"I'm not sure..." she tried to explain the change to me. "I know both you and Dr. Jackson talked about the importance of going on, how Renee would have wanted me to... but I don't know. I just woke up this morning feeling better, or like I was wasting Renee's sacrifice. I could just hear her saying to get off my ass and live!"
You chuckled. "well, that certainly sounds like her!"
"I don't know how I'm going to do this exactly, seeing Renee in the mirror everyday," she said. "And even worse pretending to be her," she added, referring to agreement you'd signed with the hospital. At your shamed expression she hurried to explain "No, don't worry, I understand you had to agree or they wouldn't have tried this surgery. Please don't blame yourself!"
You relaxed, having been worried the whole time that Sarah held you in some way responsible. She smiled and took your hand. "I know you made that choice out of love. I would have done the same. But you must admit that our lives will be different now - we'll have to find some way to make all this work. But we will!"
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