The tears start to fall. I don't even notice I'm crying until I fall onto my bed and bury my face into the pink, frillier pillow. My hair spreads out across my shoulders with the impact, and my breasts sting from colliding with the mattress too hard, but both sensations only make me cry harder. God, why can't this all be a dream? Why can't I wake up from the strange and confusing to find my old, male life waiting for me? I wouldn't have to worry about how a girl acts. I wouldn't have to wear a bra and go through middle school again and wonder whether I should refer to myself as a "he" or a "she" in my thoughts and just...just...
I hear my door open and whirl around, trying to wipe my tears away, but it's too late. Jessica already notices I've been crying and smiles.
"Aww, someone's not as happy as they were earlier," she says. "What's the matter? Wish you could have tried a few more bras on?"
"Just shut up, okay?" I sniffle. "You can act like that because you've been a girl all your life, you don't have to learn what it's like to have a penis or, or, wear boxers and have a flat chest and..."
Jessica snaps her fingers and my tears dry instantly. My stuttering, crackly voice smooths out and returns to its normal timbre, even while inside I'm just as upset and frustrated as before.
"Listen, Rachel," she says. "If I wanted, I could call Amanda up here and have her make me a dude. I could be your older brother Jason, and have a penis, and wear boxers, but I won't because, as much as I like acting like a guy, being a guy would suck."
"What makes you think being a girl is any better for me?"
"It isn't, but that's only because it's been less than a day. After a week, you'll forget how weird your boobs feel. You'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and forget what it's like to see a guy's face there. You'll sign your name as 'Rachel' on school papers without even thinking, and by the end of the month you'll think of yourself as a full-fledged girl. All Amanda and I want is to give you a new, exciting life. You'll love being a girl, trust me."
"Whatever," I say, and turn away. Part of me expects Jessica to cast another spell and make me agree with her or something, but instead she just picks up the bag of bras and puts them away in the closet.
"Amanda and I are going to a friend's for the night," she says. "We're sleeping over. I don't know if we should leave you alone, being so young and all..." Here her voice resumes its coy tone. "...but we trust you'll behave properly. Maybe you can even find something to do, like..."
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