This choice: They stuff themselves-and by proxy you-right now. • Go Back... 9:00 approached as the girls decided they'd have a good, filling meal on your dime right there. They didn't feel like going out to eat. Amber that if they planned to truly stuff themselves she didn't want anyone she knew coming by and seeing her stuff her face.
"Kelli already thinks I'm too fat," Amber said with a sneer. "Bitch."
The three went to a nearby grocery store and spent more than was usual on food. They stuck to deserts, mostly, picking up some pies, doughnuts, cookies, but Melanie also needed some milk, eggs, and bread, so she took care of that while they were at it. Lindsey, still acting like this was for kicks, graciously allowed the use of her credit card to pay for this feast of sweetness. It was one of those rare times when her family being rich came up. She felt that it would detract from her own reputation, the same way she felt your classroom rebuttals during your debates detracted from it since in her egotism she sometimes thought people would think that she only came out looking good in them because you were such a bad debater. That wasn't true of course, as both you and Lindsey were generally regarded as insightful and entertaining by those who shared classes with you.
Two carts' worths and half a dozen trips to Melanie's basement and Lindsey's car later the three girls sat in the dim room, surrounding a table filled to the brim with treats and snacks. Lindsey's stomach growled.
"Yeah, I said I was hungry but I was kind of hoping for real food," she picked up a doughnut gingerly, taking a nibble.
"This is real food," Melanie said, taking a pie and a ford and digging in. Amber too ate very daintily, so much so that Melanie rolled her eyes.
"I swear, none of this is going to make us gain weight, or even full. Everything harmful in this is going to go right into Beth. Trust me. Between the three of us we can make her so full she'll have to come to school in sweatpants."
Amber laughed at the image of a bloated you. Lindsey smiled too. Then, with increasing abandon, the three dug in.
--------------------------------------------------------------
After two long hours working on a paper, you reached your goal for the night and promptly rewarded yourself-by reading in bed, with the intent to do so until you fell asleep. It might not look like much of a reward to most people but it was one of your favorite past times. You could read at the library, or at school, but it wasn't the same. In public you always had to act and move a certain with, with great grace and dignity. Much of that was natural. But much of it was also the deliberateness with which you did everything with. The natural, friendly way you carried yourself was sincere, but it was also the effort of being very precise in everything you did.
But alone with no friends or family or strangers around, you could just sprawl out on your front and read-or watch TV should the mood strike you-without any thought going to what others around you might be thinking. It was a kind of simple heaven, and as you got older you learned to appreciate your alone time more and more.
So you lay in bed, a Charles Dickens book randomly chosen from your dad's shelf, and a bowl of carrot sticks to munch on. Even your choice of food was dignified and deliberate. Others would often praise your healthy eating habits, and you let them, but it was your preference. Sweet things or greasy things did not sit well with you. A fortunate side effect was that you were in excellent shape and health, which you of course appreciated since you didn't work out and were rather sedentary.
An hour into your post-study relaxation you stopped munching on your snack. There wasn't anything strange about this. You ate as much as anyone but even you got full, it just happened that you'd be full of healthy things when it happened. But you had barely had any at all. Your stomach growled quietly at you. You ignored it. As the minutes passed you realized that you had in fact stopped eating because you were full. That gave you a pause but you didn't extend any further thought on it.
Only soon, others thoughts crept into your mind, distracting you from your precious reading time. For some reason you were thinking of Thanksgiving, two years ago. You went with your parents and younger sister to visit your relatives for a week. On Thanksgiving night there was a feast which you had seen on TV but always assumed that real people didn't do. Egged on, you ate like you never ate before. Even when you were full, you allowed yourself the indulgence of enjoying food for its own sake. Soon, you were stuffed for the first and only time in your life. As you lay back in your chair, a hand resting on your bloated midriff, one of your aunts laughed that if you kept eating like that you wouldn't be so tiny for long. You immediately became embarrassed and self-conscious. You covered your stomach--which, you noticed with disdain--actually looked bigger. You spent the rest of the week bundled up for fear that the results of your decadence would be noticed again. Only later did you realize that everybody had been having a good time and that none of your relatives were secretly spying on you to see if you would pig out again. You felt silly for your reaction, and for not enjoying the rest of that vacation because of it, but the one thing you did realize was that you absolutely hated the feeling of being that stuffed, so heavy that it was hard to move, that your shirt rode up a few times even if only slightly. You made a silent vow to not do that next Thanksgiving, and you didn't.
Why was this suddenly intruding in your thoughts? Because, you soon realized, that hateful stuffed feeling was what you were feeling again right now. You put your book down and gently patted your stomach. A little burp escaped your lips, which you were glad nobody was around to see. You pressed at your stomach. It certainly felt full, even if to all appearances it was still its perfectly trim self. You rubbed it and moaned a little, hunched over.
You knew what this was. You must have picked up a stomach bug. However carefully you ate there's just no way to avoid some things, you told yourself. You stood up and were surprised that you had to stand hunched over because of how bloated you were feeling. Always planning ahead, you went to the bathroom and proceeded to sit on the toilet. Every few moments another growl would erupt from your poor tummy. It ached, and those movements only made it worse. You held in most of them, but a few little burps came every few minutes. Gassy and sick. This was not the way you wanted to spend the evening.
But nothing happened. It must have been an hour before you stood up again. You stumbled a little. Your stomach actually looked puffy now. You tugged your shirt down, blushing despite being alone, remember how awful you felt that Thanksgiving two years ago. When you pulled your jeans you were in for another surprise. They buttoned, but just barely, and they were uncomfortably tight.
A long, loud groan came from your stomach. It felt hard to the touch, like you really had eaten a whole feast. You moaned along with it, you couldn't help it. It was undignified, and you would never do it in public, but in the privacy of your room you could indulge in some vocal self-pity at your state. You slipped into a tank top and shorts and returned to your bed. It was late anyways. You couldn't lie on your stomach anymore, it simply hurt too much. You relaxed against the headboard of your bed and returned to your book, ignoring the little, horrible bump that was popping up from your stomach. You didn't know which you disliked more, being sick or looking bloated.
You continued reading, hoping that soon you would drift off, and awake feeling better . . .
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"Jesus Christ, I just ate two whole cakes," Lindsey said. She was oddly exhilarated. Melanie certainly had a love for food, and Amber had one which she had unfortunately started indulging in in the last year, but Lindsey only ate when she was stressed. She barely tasted it. But now she allowed herself to actually enjoy what she was eating.
"I had four pies," Amber chimed in. She lifted her shirt up to reveal her soft, but not too large, stomach, "And you're telling me I'll still loose this in no time?"
"We'll all lose ours," Melanie said. She had eaten more than any of them, and they still had barely made a dent in what they bought.
"Guys, I'm getting tired here. And I only feel kind of full."
"That's the beauty of this curse," Melanie explained. "We won't get really full. We'll eat and not feel anything until we get just what we need to survive an be healthy. So with junk food like this, there must be so little nutrients that we really need to eat a lot of it. But once we reach our fill, the rest goes to our friend."
"Oh, what I wouldn't give to see her now. She must look like a whale," Amber said.
"Hardly, but I'm sure she's fuller than usual. She doesn't eat a lot, if you couldn't tell, so she might not even know what it feels like to be full."
The three laughed at the image of you being confused by fullness, which was somewhat accurate.
"But I think I'm going to call it a night. We'll see what happens tomorrow. But Melanie, if I wake up one pound heavier I'm going to kick your ass."
"And I'll let you," Melanie said, "But you won't. Come on, do you really want to quit now?"   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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