"So Suzy, I guess I never told you this, but I have superpowers."
But before Suzy could respond, I blasted myself with a dose of shrink, bringing me down to about a foot tall. When Suzy turned to look at me, I was gone!
"Mark, where'd you...", Suzy looked around and then saw me waving to her from below, standing in a puddle of my clothes.
"GO!" she shouted, her voice now much, much louder to my smaller ears. "Oh my god, how the frick did you do that? Is it like a hologram or something? Wow..." she rambled on in excitement. I tried getting her attention by calling her name multiple times, until...
"SUZY! It's real! Here, touch my hand!" I held up my hand as she bent over at the waist and touched it gingerly with her index finger.
"Holy shit," we said, simultaneously. I grabbed her finger with both my hands and rubbed it lightly. I looked up at her face, catching a glimpse of her chest. Her boobs were nothing to write home about, but at this size...
"So, how did you...um...get your powers?" asked Suzy, breaking me out of my spell.
"Oh, uh...well, my...dad...discovered a...um...a..." I stammered until Suzy spoke up.
"...Particle?"
"Yeah, that's it! He discovered a particle that can...um...what's the word..."
"...shorten the distance between an atomic nucleus and its electrons?"
"Yup...you got it! Wow, are you sure you don't have powers?"
"Well, actually, I don't. And neither do you. Because I got that origin story from Ant-Man!"
Jesus. I had JUST seen that movie a couple of days ago with Tina. "Alright, you got me. I don't have powers. In fact, I don't need them, when I've got this!" I pulled out the remote and showed it to Suzy.
"What is it?" asked Suzy, taking it from my hand. After holding it for a few seconds, it automatically grew to fit her hand!
"It's a remote that changes the size of things!"
Suzy turned the remote in her hands for a while before looking down at me.
"This is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me," she admitted. "I mean, think of the possibilities! We could end world hunger!" Clearly, Suzy was nobler than me. All I wanted to do, on the other hand, was grab a handful of gorgeous geek boob.
But how the hell was I going to convince Suzy to do that now? I had to act fast.
"You're right! I was thinking the exact same thing! That's why I showed it to you, because I knew we'd be on the same wavelength."
"Wow, really, Matt?"
"Yeah, in fact Suzy, I--I think I like you." My Hail Mary attempt. To be honest, I did think Suzy was cute, but I don't think I'd ever date her seriously. Oh well, I had already dove in head-first.
"Oh...um...I don't know what to say..." Suzy blushed a deep shade of red as the remote slipped from her hand, bounced on the ground, and shot a beam of light straight at her legs. I said an expletive and asked Suzy if she was OK.
Suddenly...