I suddenly found myself in a diner, and all hell was breaking loose. People were freaking out, and I wasn't immediately sure why.
I looked down, and got a hell of a shock: I now had two generously sized breasts, and an even bigger belly. Please let this just be fat, I thought. But then I felt what could only be a baby moving inside of me.
I must have said something to get someone's attention, because a lady came up to me. "Shelby?" she asked. "You okay, darlin'?"
"No, ma'am," I replied, surprised by the accent in my feminine voice. "My name is Damien, and I'm supposed to be a 16-year-old boy." I looked at the woman, a lady with salt-and-pepper hair. "Where am I?"
"Honey, you're in Mobile, Alabama, just like always."
I put my hand to my head. "Not always; I was in New Jersey, up until a moment ago." I indicated my belly. "How far along am I?"
"Six months." She looked me top to bottom. "Are you being serious with all this stuff?"
"Yes, ma'am. And the way folks are acting, I don't think I'm the only one."
She looked around. "What in the world is going on? What could have caused something like that?"
"I don't know. Can I sit down?"
"Sure, darlin'."
I took a load off my feet, and put my hands on my belly. Six months pregnant. Whatever it was that happened, it had put me inside the body of a six months pregnant waitress in Mobile, Alabama, named Shelby. Could my life get any more screwed up?
Then, I looked at my left hand, and saw two rings on my finger. An engagement ring, and a wedding ring. That brought it home to me: This baby had a father. A father who was used to sleeping with the mother-to-be. And since I was now that mother-to-be,...
"Hoo-boy."