"I guess we can go now."
"Great! I'll guide you to the competition! Follow me!" said Gorg, leading you out of his hut.
You walk behind Gorg after placing all your luggage back in his hut and observe the swamp around you. Along the way, Gorg kept ranting about all the various troublesome adventures he's had with his friends, most of which ended with a disgusting result. But you simply say, "That was a sticky situation!" and laugh, trying not to offend him.
"...and then the dragon decided to smear my loin cloth with its dung-infested hide! You think you can still smell it?"
"Trust me Gorg; a gnat covered in a tar pit can smell your rotten loin cloth." you say.
Gorg replies by sneezing and wiping his snot on his left ass cheek.
"Well, we're here!"
You end up at a campfire ground surrounded by ogres and gruff orcs, and a few other creatures that were teamed up with the ogres. You even saw a couple of your friends in the bunch and, surprisingly, Gunky was there. Gunky was this slimy yellow ogre wearing tattered black shorts. He had a few hairs on his scalp, but other than that, he was bald.
"GUNKY!"
"GORG!"
The two ogres ran to each other and gave the other a hefty hug, patting each other on the back. It looked like they hadn't seen each other in a long time.
"So how's life treatin' you ole pal?" asked Gorg.
Gunky let out a large belch. "Ah, the usual. My mate thinks I should get out more and stop acting like a sloth. But hey, at least I'm in good shape. So, we gonna be teammates this year?"
Gorg sighed exasperatedly. "I already told you: John's my partner!"
"Hi." you say, waving to Gunky.
"Hey, I remember you! Me and the boys dumped you in Gorg's toilet last year!" he laughed.
"Yes...I still have the stains on my socks to prove it..." you grumble.
"Anyways, I need someone who's fit to run and since you're getting lazy and I'm..."
Gorg looked down at his stout belly which was bulging over his loin cloth, getting to the point where he couldn't see his own feet. He poked his belly twice and heard it grumble and slosh around before he started talking again.
"...not exactly full of muscle, I need John for this hunt."
"Eh, that's cool. Least you don't have to worry about my...condition..."
"What?"
"Gunky has a really bad case of halitosis. Like, make a squirrel vomit if he opens his mouth bad."
"Ergh...yeah, I can smell it from here." you say, trying to fan his bad breath away.
"Hey Gorg, why do your feet stink so much today? They stink all the time but now..."
Gorg bent over, farting in another ogre's face after mooning him and looked down at his smelly feet which were covered in some black crud.
"Oh, that's just some black mold; I step in it all the time."
"What?!"
"Don't worry; I'll just lick it off!"
Gorg lifted his foot in the air and began to lick the dangerous mold off his foot like it was syrup, before starting on his other foot. You suddenly began to wonder if Gorg was hygienically safe to travel with. What if Gorg sat on some poisonous slime and played a prank on you by farting on your head and some of slime got in your eyes? You could go blind!
"There. It's off. See?"
"...No, you still got some on your ears..." pointed out Gunky.
"Damnit!" said Gorg, trying to lick his ears.
Maybe you should find another partner...one who isn't carrying deadly disgusting "things" on his person.
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