This choice: Tell her you're not into the occult, but you're definitely into her • Go Back...Chapter #19Deep Sabotage by: Seuzz   "Okay, you got me," you sigh. "I'm not really into this stuff." You shove the astrology book away. "But Caleb isn't either, and no, he didn't put me up to this."
Sydney cocks a skeptical eyebrow, but the smile still plays on her lips.
"But you're into this stuff, right?" you continue. "You had a book on tarot with you—"
"It's pronounced 'tarrow'," she corrects you. "Rhymes with 'arrow', not 'carrot'."
You make a face. "Well, you had a book on tarrow with you the other night, when you were with Caleb, right? He told me you're into this stuff." She says nothing. "So I thought— Yeah, okay, you got me, I brought this thing along 'cos I thought maybe if I, you know, pretended like I was—"
You feel yourself getting angrier and angrier as you admit your deception. Damn her for making you lie to get her attention!
"It was Caleb's idea," you improvise. "He said, Take a book on black magic with you, or something like that, get her to think you have a common interest—"
"So Caleb did put you up to this."
"Yeah, but he's not interested in this stuff either. Honestly, it's a real turn off to him. We've had conversations. He's into the science and engineering stuff, wants to go to work for NASA. He thinks the occult and metam— All that stuff's a bunch of bullshit. Really, you should hear him go off on it sometime."
"Uh huh." She sounds the opposite of convinced. "So why did he want you to pretend like you're interested in it with me?"
"To get an in with you! Jeez, okay, I'm sorry! But that's sometimes what people do—!"
"I know that's what people sometimes do, Will." She bites down on a smile, and her eyes dance. "I'm not mad at you. But honestly, I'm wondering—" She leans forward. "Isn't your friend interested in me? Why is he setting you up with me instead of himself?"
Guuuuuuhhhh ...
And then a totally unexpected set of words just fly out of your mouth: "Caleb's gay."
Sydney stares at you. Then she claps a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh. "Really?" she exclaims with sparkling eyes when she has recovered herself.
"Hey, it happens! Just ask Charles Hartlein!"
"I don't know Charles Hartlein. But I didn't get the impression when I talked to Caleb that he was gay." Her eyes sparkle.
"When? When did you—? Oh, you mean your study session? Oh yeah." You can't believe the tsunami of bullshit you're about to unloose even as you dynamite the floodgates.
"He was just trying to be polite with you," you tell her. "Don't take this the wrong way, Caleb's really a nice guy, but he's got a huge problem with girls. Because he's gay." Sydney's eyebrows go up. "They really bother him, and, like, the sexier they are the more he hates them. 'Cos, you know, they're like competition. And with you he was all, like, She's so full of herself, she was flirting with me hard. That's what he told me, don't hold it against me. And he was just leading you on. 'Cos he said he thought you were, um, kind of stuck up about yourself?"
Sydney's eyes have gone very wide, and from the way her lips are twitching you can't tell if she wants to burst into tears or burst into fits of gut-busting laughter. "There's nothing personal about it," you insist. "He's just weird that way. But he liked you otherwise, thought you'd be, like, a good match for me."
"Really," Sydney says in a very faint voice.
"Sure. So, um—" You still your legs, which you now realize have been jackhammering beneath the table, and clasp your hands in front of you. "Can we talk about me now? Or you? Or anyone except Caleb who is, like I say, gay?"
* * * * *
Except that she's not really that interested. She doesn't seem angry or even put off by what you've told her. But she says that you've given her a lot to think about and that she wants time to think about it. "I don't know what you have to think about," you tell her, "except, you know, that I'm definitely interested in you."
She smiles—and it seems like a very warm and sincere smile—and thanks you for your "interest," then excuses herself. You're left to jog your leg under the table as you try to come to grips with what has just happened.
But there's an interruption first. Geoff and Lisa get up and brush past you as they exit, their eyes briefly meeting yours. Then, a few seconds after they've gone, Mansfield reappears at your table. "Hey," he says, and his lips twitch. "Is Johansson really gay?"
Your heart jumps sideways in your chest. The fucker was eavesdropping on you! "Erp," you say. Mansfield's lips pucker into a smirk.
"Look, it's a secret, okay?" you tell him. "He doesn't want to come out because he doesn't want Charles flirting with him."
Geoff stares at you, then rubs the side of his temple. "Someone's crazy," he mutters as he turns away, "and it's either you or Caleb. Fortunately, I don't care which one of you it is."
"Look," you shout after his retreating back, "just don't say anything, okay? Respect a guy's privacy and sexual orienwhatsits!"
* * * * *
Looked at objectively, the evening was such a disaster that you really have no choice but to change your name and move to another country. Sydney probably thinks you're crazy, Geoff and Lisa have overheard your malicious lies about Caleb, you've outed a friend who never had a closet to bein in the first place, and when it all comes out you are going to have to find yourself a new set of friends (assuming your old set doesn't kill you).
And yet, maybe because it was such a disaster, you find yourself not caring. There is so much shit that is going to hit so many fans that there doesn't seem any point in panicking.
Still, you might be able to head off some of the problems. Like if you could stop Caleb and Sydney from talking and comparing notes ...
At home you take out your cell phone and send Caleb a text: ran into sydney mglynn at cofee shop tnite god what a bitch u r totally better off wo her. When Caleb replies to ask what happened, you rattle off a list of the most stereotypical "bitchy cheerleader" behavior you can think of. You come real close to adding, and she thinks u r gay but worry that would actually convince Caleb that he should talk to her. When he texts back a simple hm you decide that you'll have to talk to him tomorrow to impress upon him how horrible she is and was.
But do you need to also stop Sydney from trying to talk to Caleb? She seems weirdly fascinated by him for reasons that baffle you. Beyond the fact that he's so funny looking, she seems convinced that he's into the occult. Why is that?
While puzzling it over, your phone dings with a text from Lisa. For half a second it's summer again, and you're dating her, and your heart leaps. Then it dives, and you make a face at the screen of your phone.
Hey Will is Caleb alright?
sure y not? you text back.
There's a lengthy pause before her reply comes back: He was always a friend and I worry about him sometimes. Is he really worried about coming out as gay?
You're strongly tempted to tell Lisa that Caleb is not gay—it would simplify your life—but how would you explain the lie? So instead you reply, y u ask? it's super private stuff.
I understand that. But he shouldn't be afraid to come out.
he's not afraid he just doesnt want to b treated like he's gay.
I get that. But is he getting help?
what help he just wants to be left alone dont tell anyone i shouldnt have told tha girl but it cam out
I won't but if he ever needs help or someone to talk to please tell him he can talk to me.
You roll your eyes. You were never this supportive of me when we were dating—and yes we were dating!—you sentimental cow! Instead you type: [i}thx will tell him but dont tell anyone and dont tell caleb i let it slip he ll kill me. and leave him alone!
I won't. Good night and you're a good friend Will.
You snort to cover your cringe. Yeah, I'm a great friend. I ruined his friendships, stole the girl who he's interested in, and am going behind his back to tell people that he's gay.
You try to put it out of your mind, but your guilt preys such that you're soon wondering if you should talk to him and confess everything. Tell him that all his recent troubles are due to a prank you were pulling that got out of control. Show him how you were doing it and offer to let him in on it. Maybe if you got together to prank some other people it would heal the rift between you.
That reminds you that you've got a project to check up on, and though it is dark you drive out to the school to check on the fire.
It's a good thing you went. While you're standing in the basement contemplating the fire, it winks out. Startled, you advance to examine what you've made. It appears to be nothing. Just the same dirt pile, although (and this might be your imagination) it looks a little smaller. But the book said the fire might go out and would need relighting.
You're searching for the lighter when a thought hits you. With the fire out, maybe you could retrieve the book from under the dirt. You could make some more masks and metal bands. One of the latter, if placed on Sydney, could tell you why she's so interested in Caleb. And if you wanted to come clean with Caleb, it would help to have toys on hand that he could play with.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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