You stare back at the cops, a little unsure of exactly what would take place even if your mind control did work. They seem a little confused themselves. Then one of them looks down at the piece of paper you shoved into his hands. "Well, thanks for talking to us," he says, "but we got his suicide note from his office." He looks down again. "So I guess this case is closed."
"Thanks officers," you say. "This has been a shock to all of us." Which is true, it has. "I'll let you know if anything else comes up." The officers nod and walk off. It worked! You can't believe it. You're a regular John Wayne.
Of course, you're also a regular college student, and you've had a stressful day, what with this and failing an exam earlier in the morning. It's now just past noon, too, which means that it's time to start drinking. You head down to the local tavern, find some other fine folks done with their Friday schedules, and start throwing down the brews.
After four or five beers and a couple shots of Jager, it occurs to you that you could probably transform yourself into someone's body part. You'd have to be touching that body part to merge with it, you suspect, which would be tough normally but probably viable if you shrunk yourself down first. You think it might be fun to try, but before you can develop the thought any more, someone distracts you and you forget about the gun entirely as you continue to drink heavily. You know you probably shouldn't get this wasted, but what the hell. You only live once, right? You continue on.
The next morning, you wake up and discover happily that you're not hung over in the slightest. Your joy is tempered, though, by the immediately subsequent realization that you've become completely immobile. Your vision is impaired by near-total darkness, but you can feel a bedsheet on top of you. It takes a few minutes, but you soon realize that you've transformed yourself into...
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