%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Our emotional state, times of darkness |
|
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, these words resonate from the passages in the American Constitution an idea we long in our hearts but dear not speak the words. Is it corny, old fashion or maybe just not relevant? We scurry around like drones, mindless and predictable; our lot is to serve the masses but what for? Who for? Are we so dead inside that we forget just to appreciate that we are alive. Whisper the words, feel the hope and succumb to the inevitable. We are here and life is what we make of it. I wrote in my earlier piece in a state of emotional distress, gloom was my friend and despair was my comforter. I did one of the bravest things I could have ever done, I let someone read my writing, which presented me with a light, and yep a shiny bloody light that I thought was not present in my life. Thank you my baby. My Jailor bore my face, the walls that encased me was my mind, negative emotions ruled my life. I have new weapons; I have state of the art detection equipment available to me, enabling to recognise the triggers that enticed me in the pit of despair, just because it was the easier course to take. So why does it allude us to obtain those things that are stated in one simple sentence? Because it is so damned hard, you have to fight for it, clawing away all the crap that presents it self to us every day. Except for those few, those lucky few that bath in its glorious embrace are there because they won the fight. I gingerly move to the front I face my doubters with a confidence that was never present; I turn my back to them and pull down my pants and give them (in my case) an ecliptic salute. This is a throw down and symbolic slap in the face from my gauntlet. I’m not saying that I am fully cured, that would be naïve, but like an alcoholic the danger is ever present and a life affirming plan is required. So tell me reader what is the next step? Where does someone like me go from depression to life affirmation? Am I to run naked through the streets and yell EUREKA? (And possibly get arrested). Do go straight up to strangers and profess my love for them? (And possible get arrested). Do I do my ever and never out of fashion Robot dance? (Where I should get arrested). What is an out of work ex-neurotic, ex-self-doubting, doomsayer suppose to do. I’m going to ramble on till that figurative light bulb appears. Let’s put on our logical hat on. Like any anal retentive personality we take the problem and dissect it and pick the easiest problem to solve first. I guess I would start by asking the right question. • What are my skills? • What resources are available to me? • What makes me truly happy? • What are the possible obstacles that I face and potential one I will face in the future? We usually answer these questions with negative connotations: • I have no skills. • I have nothing and there is nothing out there to help me. • I don’t deserve happiness • That’s just life, get over it. Reverse that bugger, and make it work for us. Number one mistake would be to think that the heavens will open up and little cherubs will descend and sprinkle golden dust upon us. Reality check, a lot of pain, hard work, and frustration will be ever our companion at first but there is a difference you see the goal and you know it’s just at your reach. I don’t want this to be one of those self help books; I’m the last person to give advice to any one. As I go through this journey of self discovery, I invite anyone (even Dick Cheney) to come along with me. Or you have that god given right, like watching a soap opera on T.V. and you switch to a more interesting infomercial about a gadget that can remove lint off your clothes at a low, low cost of $19.99 plus post & packaging. This is mainly for me, to put text to my thoughts, and in the hopes of figuring some stuff out in the process. WHATS THE PLAN! Well we have our questions so let attempt to answer some of them: • What are my skills? I can think, so that means I can reason. I can talk, so that means I can communicate in a positive manner. I can listen, so that means I can hear what you are saying to me. I have a soul, so I can love and empathise. These are my tools. • What resources are available to me? My past is a good measuring stick to gauge my progress against, also to identify all the triggers that may lead me back to that place of despair. We live in the age of the computers, the communication super highway. This gives us the ability to search for people with similar background, and mindset. To research and discover information, to help arms us for anything that comes our way. The resources are endless. • What makes me truly happy? Make a list, doesn’t matter how fantastically it may sound, or even in your mind or other peoples minds. It’s about listing the things that will give you that contentment and then all the other positive emotions will follow when you achieve your goals. Prioritise the list based on what is achievable first or maybe what is important to you; this should be based on what you want to be done first. • What are the possible obstacles that I face and potential one I will face in the future? This one requires that we look into the mirror and really look hard into ourselves and be honest. Who are we lying to, just to ourselves; if that is the case then we won’t fully achieve what we desire the most. Money, Family, Friends, Work these are always a factors in our lives and usually they lead into each other. E.g. we have a problem with family that leads to lack of self-esteem, anger, frustration, which affects our working relationship with our employer, work mates and our productivity suffers. But wait! How about if we can’t fix the family situation does that mean the work situation won’t improve? The funny thing about any situation is that when we are trying to improve ourselves the other factors improve (like a domino effect) but not always all of them. If the situation with the family has not changed and you have, then the problem is with the family. You can’t make people change if they don’t want to. In the dark times there is an emptiness that consumes us; we are constantly trying to fill that void by resorting to drugs, sex, and over-indulgence of food etc. This artificial band-aid deceives us in temporary bliss disguising the hurt and pain, but we wake up from the self-deluded euphoria, waiting for us is the emptiness luring us into its open arms. We walk around like zombies until the emptiness and pain becomes too unbearable, so we desperately search for that next fix. The condition is not fatal; we believe it is because we are in such pain that we cannot see the light, the small spark of hope that eludes us. Barring the cookie fortune wisdom, in our search for self-awareness we slowly force the light in and hope becomes apparent in our lives. I am hopeful now, and I know that the road I travel is full of obstacles and surprises. If I stay the course to the desired end, I will find contentment and the monsters of the past will be chained the cell that I once dwelled in. Well reader is this the miracle pill you have been searching for? Hell no, this is a step a small step in recognising and facing my demons to help me on that rocky road to recovery. And hopefully on that long and arduous journey I have figured some stuff out. |
This In & Out is EMPTY! Be the first to add... use the form below! |
Self Deletion: Not Allowed Direct Follow Ups: Allowed Post Limiting: Not Limited
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
