"A Problem Page For All!"

Hehe! Zib, you rock!!! Is that what you would say to someone who you wanted to stop swapping with? I love how forward you are. You don't seem ashamed of shoving your opinion out there and letting all ears get notice! Thanks for the advice!

I've been thinking about Micaella lately, partly because her birthday is tomorrow, and I sent her a really really cool card and I'm hurt that she didn't acknowledge my birthday. As I was writing the card, I wondered how I should sign it. "I love you soooo much!" or "You're great, sis" or what? I realized that I was tempted to go all out and say just that, something really flamboyantly loving. I realized, though, that I'm not sure I feel that way. Maybe I feel that way somewhere in me, but it's not apparent right now. I'm still confused about everything. How badly did I hurt her with my confrontational letters? Did I just confuse her? Does she think I'm confused and lost? Does she still consider us close friends?

I want, oh-so-badly, to converse with her the way that you and I do. I want to cuss, yell, giggle, be totally random and angry and excited and not have to worry about seeming like some freak on drugs with my weird behavior and mood swings and blunt creativity and all that. I want to really talk with her, about the unhappiness I sense in her, the unsureness, the hurt, what she wants, if she's really satisfied with her life, if she ever has friends over, what she thinks about sex and romance, ETC.

I'm so glad you asked, though. I feel crappy gossiping in public like this, but you asked, and I feel so touched that you care.

I want to meet her again and try to let my real personality spill out all over the place and let it be. But I really like her and I don't want to offend her or turn her away from me!

So, you talked to Esther? Did you call, or did she? What was it like? Do you think you'll get together after she gets back from England?

"I've never had a humble opinion.
If you've got an opinion,
why be humble about it?"