Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Part of me (my ego) doesn't want to write this introduction, and part of me (my soul) wants to write a long, detailed introduction. Therefore, I'm going to compromise, and write a semi in-depth introduction that covers (what I think) are the essential. This introductory paragraph ought to tell you something about me, besides explaining why I have issues with procrastination.

I am afflicted with Maladaptive Daydreaming. Most of my life, I have tended to withdraw into my own fantasy world when life in the real world got too stressful. This problem has interfered with my success in everything I do. It hasn't stopped completely, but it has caused me to procrastinate. Procrastination has caused more stress, despite these issues I graduated with a Masters degree.

After I graduated with the Masters, I was forced to get out of the workforce because my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Right after my mother died, my health went downhill. I have not been able to get back into the workforce since. Today, I am collecting Social Security and other government benefits that keep me from starving and being homeless.

I suspect, all though I haven't discussed this with a psychologist, that the MD is caused by traumas I suffered either as a child, or in my teenage years. I was sexually abused from the time I was in Junior High (middle school) until I graduated from high school. Those are the years when the MD became worse, and it has caused me issues off-and-on ever since. I have never completely stopped, but it has been decreasing. I can now go several hours or days without the an episode.

The MD episodes began to decrease when I declared my faith in Baha'u'llah. The episodes aren't as bad, and they are shorter when I pray and mediate on the sacred scriptures. In addition, writing helps because when I focus on composing a story, poem, or blog entry, I have no desire to withdraw into my fantasy world.