Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

 (This message was edited by dchabino on 12-17-01 @ 10:41 pm EST)

Mr. Jimbo,

Now I ain't lookin' to take no issue with Bubba,
Bubba, Bubba, and Bubba. It's you I got de
problem wit. Now first, you try an talk down to
me wit all dat Harvard sissy boy talk. Wut is dat
anyway, Chinese or sompin? Den, you go have de
wherwital to tell me I shuda name by boy sumpin
else, like Ralph. Dat ain't no name, dat's whut I
done after I ate yo cheese.

Speakin' of which, dat cheese gave me gas. I'm a
thinkin' I'm a gonna bill you fo utility service.
I ain't got an outhouse no mo. Sue wuz playin'
wit matches out der, and dun blowed de whole place
up. I tink you otta put a warnin' on yo labels,
sumpin from the surgin genral, ya know.

Now, bout that cheese. First, it done plug up my
dog. Dat dog won't even hunt no mo causin he
cain't even make a pile. He jest sit der lookin'
funny. And, dis cheese is not de cheese I
ordered. I ordered dat peeekan cheese loaf. I
wuz disappointed to know my cheese was sompin difrent.

De other day, when yo cheese arrived at de post
office, I went down der to git it, and ole Tim
Witlack wuz getting a package as well. Well, ole
Tim don?t talk so good. He ain?t quite as skooled
as me. Anyways, I noticed he got one of yo cheese
packages, too. I thot at de time it was
coincidence or sompin.

Well, when I went out de post office to get on my
bicilcle, ole Jim come a runnin' out de doe,
sayin' "Hey, Geoerge! Stop! Dat's nacho cheese!"
He try an stop me, which wuz pretty nice of him
now dat I know. Wut you think I am, anyway? Some
kind a Mexican? Ole Tim even sent out de Po-lice,
said I tride to still his cheese. Said he meant
to say, "Dat's not cho cheese." But, I knowed he
wuz jest tryin' to make me feel betta. You ever
try an eat nacho cheese with peekans? I thot de
gas wuz bad, but dem peekans on de nachos taste
real funny.

An, dat's all i gotta say. Jest send me my cheeze
log, an leave out de peekans dis time. I had all
dem I can stand.