UPGRADE AIDE CONTEST

Whenever I have a review to write
The same mistakes are always in sight.
I work to correct them with all of my might
Yet I cannot escape the grammatical blight.

A big problem's punctuation: periods, quotes
Some of the pieces need copious notes.
Commas inside! Know what that denotes?
But it's increasingly hard to shove down their throats.

You hear all the time how to show and not tell
But more important than that, what I'd rather compel
Is adherence to tenses. Do not rebel!
Fabricating your own little rules makes me yell.

The next thing to mention in my grammar crusade
Is a problem that makes me particularly afraid
Possessives need apostrophes. Plurals? Evade!
Didn't we learn that back in third grade?

Don't treat your pieces like old clumps of lint.
Be careful. Be smart. Use your own special tint.
But netspeak ain't klassy - don't put it in print.
This, really truly, is my number one hint.

Finally, of course, is this spelling disease
Abject misspellings make my reviewing brain freeze.
Sure, I commiserate: English spelling's no breeze
But pick up a dictionary! We're begging you! Please!



Lorien