House of Reviews

Probably the warlock IS after the reader....and what you want to do is make the reader really feel that this might be the case. As it stands now, the warlock is so abstract that it would be easy to laugh off the existence of such an agent.

Sit down with a blank piece of paper or blank screen, and start freewriting to answer the following questions: What might the warlock look like? How might he sound or smell? How might he make himself appear so that he could get past someone's defenses? If he brings large disasters (a plague, an earthquake, a genocide), how does he start them? How does he maximize the harm done?

The warlock must seem real to the reader, and if you can answer these questions (you'll probably think of others), you can make that happen.

Thanks for posting, and I apologize for the delay in reviewing this.