It's All Over But The Cryin'

You might want to consider deleting old forum messages so they don't serve as a reminder - I'm thinking particularly of the self-deprecating ones.

And you know, it's like dieting - you have to let go of the "clean slate, clean plate, all or nothing" mentality. When I quit, I quit at 2:00 PM on a day when I'd already smoked half a pack. I knew that if I kept trying to pick the perfect time on the perfect day I'd keep looking at it as "one smoke and you've fucked up" - but what it really is is changing a bad habit into better ones. It may not happen overnight (for me, cold turkey's easiest and blowing a "perfect" track record sucks, but that's also a danger in that - I recognize that now, and I'm not looking at it as "one screw-up = failure." If I screw up - and knock wood, I haven't so far - it's not the start of a smoking binge. It's a mistake, and I'll just have to guard against making the same mistake again. I spent the first week journaling at every urge - what time was it, what triggered it, what could I do about it, could I babble on paper long enough for it to pass? That helped. Inevitably, the cravings passed.)

I also told a few people, but I made it very clear that they were not to speak of it - not to pat me on the back or offer smarmy encouragement or kick me in the ass if they caught me smoking. Just...know I may be edgy for a while, and why, and leave me the fuck alone about it. ;) Gradually, I came to like the support and congratulations. (The BEST support I've gotten was from a friend who, nightly, took me on a virtual world tour to places where it would be impossible, gross, or not at all fun to smoke - like an underwater restaurant, the ICEHOTEL, swimming with dolphins...that's been fun. We're currently enjoying seafood in Norway. She sends me descriptions and photos and links, and we take long, non-smoking flights overnight to get there.)