Red Opium.

I've been part of this group for a while now, I usually don't post anything but I do keep up with everyone else’s posts etc. I'm just shy, even online.

I started to talk about myself, introduce myself, then I started to explain all the recent events in my life but I cannot seem to write in small amounts and after I hit page three on Microsoft word I decided to spare all of you the misery of reading my rant.

However today, Sept 22nd 06, marks the 1 year anniversary since the last time I cut myself. The longest I'd gone before that was less than a month . . . so a year, that's the longest I've gone ever since I started cutting myself about 8 years ago.

This last few weeks has been insanely hard though. I've wanted to cut myself very badly. VERY very badly. I dont know why I havent because it makes me feel better so I dont see why not.

This last week I've gotten more and more depressed which is not good since I start school this Monday for fall quarter at college. This'll be my second quarter back. I'm 19 by the way, will be 20 in . . . 8 days? Yes. My birthday is on the 30th.

But lately I dont have fun doing anything. I just sit here, miserable. I dont want to read, or write, and I try to hang out with my friends but I dont enjoy myself at all. I just dont see the point of anything anymore.

-Fitzwah