Ask Mr. Wizzo!

Response:

The white, half-moon-looking thing is called the "lunula".

There are many theories as to what it means. Some say it can be used for fortune-telling purposes ("OH MY GOD IT'S A HALF-CENTIMETER LONGER THAN IT SHOULD BE, THAT MEANS YOU'RE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW."), there's the "scientific" version, which states that it's normal ("ABNORMALITIES? MORE LIKE EVOLUTION."), and that there's the real version.

You may notice that there is more some times than other times. This is because the "white stuff" is actually a "guage," if you will. It measures how far through life you are. ("That sounds a lot like the fortune-telling one," you may be saying. Well. You sound a lot like the fortune-telling one.)

You see, when you are a baby (you may not remember this, because you were a stupid baby who didn't bother to store things in your memory), your fingernails are completely white. But, you are quickly exposed to harmful things in your environment, and before you can adapt to them, most of your life slips away from you, which is why you first remember your fingernails as having only a moon-shaped amount at the base.


Now you're thinking that you're going to test my theory by doing healthy things and seeing if the white stuff increases. Unfortunately, you can't.

A full-white fingernail is around five centuries (500 years, for you lame-men. I know what I said.), so adding a few months by cutting back on the McDonald's isn't going to produce any visible changes.