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Rated: 13+ · Message Forum · Writing.Com · #100931
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Apr 25, 2024 at 5:34pm
#3646370
Re: writing questions
Hi Kristina,

The sentence is okay as written. The editor in me is coming out, though. It's good start. Then I would do a edit, with the thought of using a good economy of words. Can I cut this down? Can I shorten it? Can I make it say the same thing?

The knee-knee drought weathered weeds swayed in the troubled Chinook Winds. The ripple effect reminded one of ocean waves lapping onto the seashore.

I live in SoCal and I see weeds that high and yellow all the time.

I'm "assuming" the second question is not related to the first. I'd try to research it, but I think you can mention the owner, etc as long as you aren't defaming them or libeling them.

Steph



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*Star* Re: writing questions · 04-25-24 5:34pm
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Re: writing questions · 04-28-24 2:18am
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