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An anthology of strange tales. Some wholesome, some twisted. All eerie. |
| [Introduction]
Though they were before my time, I am a huge fan of classic anthology tv series like The Twilight Zone and Tales From the Crypt. Twilight Zone in particular, with Rod Serling's masterful writing and story telling, always has me enthralled with each episode, even if I've seen it before. So, I thought, why not make my own sort of tribute to said series, with my own personal touches here and there of course. Like my Paragon Prince campfire, this will be episodic in nature, with each episode telling a different story. Each episode could range from something completely original, to a sort of parody of a classic episode of the original series. Or anything in between, really. If anybody wishes to join in on they need only to ask the author. |
| You are now entering a realm unlike any on this Earth. A realm where anything is possible. A place where humanoid animals exist alongside homo sapiens, and where the line between magic and science blurs. You have just entered...The Anthro Zone. It Takes a Village Presented for your entertainment, Robert Birkman. Your average 35 year old human male. Profession, officially, babysitter. Unofficially, thief. His specialty is con jobs. More specifically, gaining his mark's trust, then robbing them blind when the opportunity presents itself. At present, he is driving to his latest target, a wealthy couple who seemed rather desperate to find someone to look after their 6 year old daughter while they get some much needed time to themselves. Robert thinks this will be his biggest score yet. But he's about to discover that it will in fact be his worst nightmare. Robert parked his beat up old Chevy down the street from his destination before walking the rest of the way to the wrought iron gates of a large estate belonging to a family known as the Millers. He didn't know what exactly they did to make such money, but whatever it was, surely it was enough they could easily replace whatever he planned to steal from them tonight. So needless to say, he didn't feel very remorseful about robbing them. It would be like any other job, he thought. Once the parents were gone, he'd tie up the kid and load everything valuable into his van and be gone before the parents got back. Piece of cake, he thought. He rang the door bell and was greeted by a fox lady in a ravishing red dress. "Oh, you must be the babysitter." She said, welcoming him inside. "Thank you so much for taking this job on such short notice. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find someone willing to watch Tina for us." He stepped into a grand foyer with marble floors, a long oak staircase, chandelier and everything else you think of when you imagine a rich family's home. "What was your name, sir?" The lady asked "John." He said. Only an idiot would give their real name in his line of work. "Well, Mr. John, my husband and I will be out for quite a while. I don't expect we will be back until well past midnight. Please make sure Tina is asleep in her bed by ten, and help yourself to anything in the fridge. There's a list of phone numbers and instructions on the dining room table." Just then, the husband came down the steps dressed in a tuxedo, followed by a small child that Robert figured must be Tina. "Thank you sir, for coming all the way out here." The husband said, hastily shaking Robert's hand. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but me and my wife are running late as it is." He kissed the small fox goodnight, and hurried out the door alongside his wife. Robert watched them drive off through the window. Once they were gone, he grinned to himself. Suckers, he thought. This is too easy! Asking someone like him to watch their home was like asking a cat to watch over your canary. He turned to face Tina, who just stared up at him with big bright eyes, holding an old teddy bear in one hand. "Are you gonna be my new friend?" She asked innocently. He smirked. "Sure, kid. In fact, let's play a game!" "Yay! What game?" The next thing Tina knew, she was blindfolded and tied to a chair, while Robert began stealing anything that wasn't nailed down. Jewlery, silverware, cash, you name it. Suddenly, Robert heard a thud coming from the room where he had left Tina. peeking inside, he saw the chair he had tied her to was now laying sideways on the floor, with the rope untied! "What the hell?" "You tricked me." Came a voice from behind him. He turned to see Tina, staring up at him with an angry scowl. "That wasn't a game at ll! You just wanted to take our stuff!" Damn, he thought, this kid's smarter than most. "Look, kid. I don't know how you got out of those binds, but I I've never had to hurt a kid on the job, and I'd really rather not start. So how about this time I tie you up on the sofa this time, and you can watch cartoons or something while I finish up." Tina just grinned a wicked, unsettling grin, especially coming from a child. "I have a better idea." Suddenly, everything went white! When his vision returned, Robert found himself unable to move or speak. Everything around hims seemed enormous. As he realized what had happened, he tried to scream in horror, but couldn't so much as gasp. He'd been turned into a doll! Somehow, that kid turned him into a toy! Tina picked him up and stared at him for a moment. "Hmm. I think you'll do." The next thing Robert knew, he was sitting at a small table, surrounded by stuffed animals being served imaginary tea and cookies. "Excuse me, ladies. I'll be right back." Said Tina, exiting the room. Robert tried in vain to move, but couldn't even wiggle his toes. How in the world was this happening?! This had to be some crazy dream! "Psst!" He heard a voice say. "Over here!" |
| The voice came from a stuffed rabbit. "What's going on?" Robert asked. "Long story short, she's a sorcerer, or something like that," the rabbit said. "She's been doing this to anyone that displeases her in some form." "So, what did you do?" Robert asked. "Told her that she couldn't have some special gummies, that children aren't supposed to have," the rabbit said. "You mean, cannabis gummies?" Robert asked. "More customer-friendly than smoking a joint, or even a vape," the rabbit said. "What about you?" Robert chuckled nervously. "Um, I'm a thief." The rabbit snorted at this. "Did you hurt her?" "No, I didn't do that," said Robert. "Guess you're lucky there," said the rabbit. "You'd be dead if you had." "What do you mean?" Robert asked. "She'd turn you into food," the rabbit said. "Something fitting to what you are." "So, what happened to your gummies?" Robert asked. "Good news is, she didn't like the taste of them," the rabbit said. "Bad news is, things, apparently, were extra crazy, compared to normal." |
| OK I tried I want out of this campfire I can't pay attention to these long entries I'm too busy |
| That's when they heard the sound of small footsteps coming down the hallway. "She's coming back!" The rabbit said. Tina re-entered her bedroom and resumed her tea party. There has to be some way out of this mess, Robert thought. "There is." Tina said out loud, as though she heard him. "That's right, I can read minds." She said as she picked up Robert and held him in front of her. "What do you want?" Robert asked. "I just want someone to play with." Tina said, with an almost sad glint in her eyes. "My parents are always busy, and I don't have many real friends." Robert could actually relate on some level. He had always been an outcast as a child, never knew his father, and his mom was always working to provide for him and his siblings. Looking back, all that probably contributed to him turning to a life of crime. "Alright, kid. I'll play with you for tonight, if you promise to change me back to normal." Tina had a thoughtful expression on her face for a few moments, before replying "How about this? We'll play three games, you and me. Win, and I'll turn you back to normal and you'll be free to go. Lose, and you're my plaything forever." Robert hesitated. It was a big gamble, but he knew it was also his only shot. "I'll play your games. But only if you free everyone else too." Tin a looked around at her various toys. Just how many had she collected, Robert wondered. "Okay. But we do this my way." The room began to warp and twisted, until they were standing in a sunlit forest. "Our first game will be hide and seek." Tina said. "I've made it so you can move again, and will give you to the count of twenty to find a place to hide. If I can't find you within thirty minutes, you win." She set Robert down and closed her eyes, beginning to count out loud. Though still a toy, Robert was thankful to at least be able to run again. He ran as far and as fast as his plastic legs could go, diving into a hole in the ground. Now he just had to stay quiet for the next half hour, and hope Tina didn't find him. |
| "Good luck with that," said the rabbit's voice in Robert's head. "Tina don't play fair." That was when it started to rain, and the hole became rather muddy. |
| It was then Robert had to scurry out of the hole. He grabbed a root and hoisted himself out of the ground. I really need to go on a diet, he thought to himself. He scurried up the nearest tree he could get to. He waited until thirty minutes were up. "You win," Tina said, levitating next to the branch Robert was on. "For the next game, I want to see how well you can navigate a funhouse." "Big deal," Robert said. "Those mirrors distort your reflection." "But there is a catch," Tina said. "Whatever mirror you're looking into, your real-life body will alter itself to match the reflection. Don't worry, your clothes won't be affected." Robert's knees started to shake as the room changed to a mirror hall section in a funhouse. "Good luck," Tina said with a sinister smile. "You're going to need it." |
| This shouldn't be that hard, Robert thought. As he made his way through the maze, he passed dozens of mirrors that warped and twisted his appearance. One made him ridiculously tall and skinny, like a stick figure drawing by some kindergartener. Another made him squat and fat. "How do I win this game, anyway?" He said out loud. "Very simple." Came Tina's voice. "Find the exit." "That's it? How is this supposed to be a challenge?" "Oh, you'll see." Said Tina with a wicked giggle. Suddenly, the entire funhouse went black, as though someone flipped a light switch off. Robert couldn't help but groan. "Me and my big mouth." After taking a few more steps, he felt the floor give way from underneath him, and he fell deeper into the darkness. Evidently, he had been standing on a trap door. He felt himself land in a pile of something firm, yet soft. The lights came back on, and he saw he was now in the center of a gigantic ball pit, like one would find at a Chuck E. Cheese. Struggling a bit, he tried to, for lack of a better word, swim through the rainbow assortment of plastic balls, in hopes of reaching the edge and climbing out. Then he felt the balls shifting around him, as something else was moving around beneath them. There was something in the pit beside him. Something very big. |
| There was also the concern about what might happen to his real body. He needed to locate a regular mirror |
| Robert had to heave his heavy body out of the ball pit. He didn't want to be attacked by whatever was in there. As he finally managed to climb out, a giant monstrous stone jaguar head popped out afterwards. The rest of its body rose up to attack. Robert ran as fast as his pudgy body could carry him. "I've got to find a regular mirror and change myself back," he said to himself as the stone jaguar came crawling after him. As he ran, he looked around for a mirror that could change his body back to normal. Then, coming into his view was what looked like a real mirror. His face brightened up. "This is it!" He exclaimed. As he looked into it, however, he was stretched both vertically and horizontally. Without warning, his already distorted body began to contort itself to match the reflection. His already ill-fitting shirt was beginning to ride up on him even more. "What's going on?!?" He demanded. "I can't get out of here looking like this!" "I didn't say you had to find a regular mirror to fix yourself," Tina said from afar. "The challenge is you had to escape the funhouse while avoiding the jaguar." Robert looked behind him. To his surprise, the jaguar wasn't chasing him anymore. "Okay," he said. "What's the final game? You name it." "For the final test," Tina said. "I want to see how you handle the dangers of the jungle." On cue, the room began to turn into a jungle. Robert was turned back into a human, but he was still stretched vertically and horizontally. "Can you change me back the way I was before?" He asked. Tina formed a frame with her fingers. "I like you better this way," she said. "Besides, you have to follow this multicolored path on the ground while encountering the dangers of the jungle until you reach the ivory tower. If you succumb to ten dangers, you lose. I'll be waiting!" |
| With that, Tina vanished. Robert looked to the path in front of him. Well, he thought, i have ten chances to get to this tower, and i just have to follow this road to get there. Shouldn't be that difficult. Like in the Wizard of Oz. But before he had even taken a dozen steps, he found himself in a pit of quicksand. He sighed. "Should have known." He wasn't too worried. He knew quicksand wasn't as dangerous as movies and video games make it out to be, rarely getting more than a few feet deep. But now, his feet were stuck, and he was slowly but steadily sinking. "Okay, just relax." He said to himself "If I struggle, I'll only sink faster." He tried to stay calm, looking around for something to grab onto to pull his way out. But he didn't see anything within reach. |
| It dawned on Robert he had to slowly move to get out of quicksand. So that's what he did. After climbing out, he looked over to a tree with a rolled up piece of paper dangling from a tree. He walked over and grabbed it. Upon unrolling it, he read it carefully, "When you reach your destination, please yell the following word aloud-" He flipped it over and read the following word which was written in uppercase letters: "COWABUNGA!" "Bravo!" Tina said from afar. "You found something useful for when you end your journey at the golden city." "Wait a minute!" Robert protested. "You said I had to reach the ivory tower!" "I've changed my mind," Tina said. With that, Robert continued along the path. It wasn't long that he got winded from walking as far as his blubbery body could carry him. He began to feel the ground vibrate. At first, he thought it was his bulging stomach, but as the sound grew louder, he knew it was a stampede heading straight toward him! |
| A herd of elephants came bursting out from the jungle! Robert might have been able to dodge if he still had his normal body. But in his current form, he never stood a chance. He was trampled flat by the rampaging pachyderms, before reappearing good as new at the start of the path. "That's one down." Came Tina's voice. "Seriously?" Robert protested "You're gonna make me start over every time I die?" "Think of it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes." Said Tina "When you get back to where you were, you'll know to avoid the danger." She did have a point. Besides, he thought, I still have nine more tries. That should be plenty. Making his way past the quicksand and the elephant's stomping grounds, he came to a river with the rest of the path on the other side. At first he thought he could just swim across, but...no...that would be far too easy. By now he was catching on to Tina's tricks. This had to be some sort of trap. He threw a rock into the water, causing several fish to leap about from beneath the surface. "Great." He said "Pirahnas." The only way forward was across the river, but if he tried to swim he'd be torn to shreds by the fish! There had to be some way around this. |
| He looked thoroughly around for a bridge, but he couldn't find one. "I guess I'll have to make one," he said. He tried to get off the path, but an invisible barrier stopped him. "Uh, uh, uh," Tina's voice said. "Stay on the trail or you'll be cursed to turn into a monkey." Robert sighed. At first, he wanted to jump across, but after spotting a raft in front of him, he picked it up, started to run, and flopped on his fat belly as the raft hit the water. "Now to get across," he said. Then, he picked up a paddle and started rowing to the other side.as he landed, he got off the raft, which was being ripped apart by the piranhas. "I'd better keep going," he said. As he started walking, he noticed what looked like a long log stretched in his path, but upon further inspection, it didn't feel like wood. It felt like a snake's skin. As he looked up, he saw the owner of the skin. "A python!" He shrieked. "I've heard how you and the boa constrictor hunt: you squeeze your prey to death before eating. I'm not going into your belly!" He grabbed a coconut and threw it at the big snake, hitting it on the head. He made a dash away from that spot, but after 20 steps, he started panting heavily. I wouldn't blame him, seeing as he was huge in shape and size. It wasn't long until he heard a rumbling noise out of nowhere. He looked behind himself to make sure it wasn't another stampede, but he didn't see anything. The sound erupted even louder. He looked down and this time, it really was his stomach! "I really need to eat something," he told himself. |
| "Better be careful." Came Tina's voice again "Many of the fruits in the jungle are poisonous. So choose wisely." |
| Looking at what fruits were at his disposal, Robert grabbed a blue fruit and took a huge bite out of it. Then he waited until he would succumb to poison, but he didn't. "I know fruit's supposed to be good for you," he mumbled to himself. "But I'm not losing a single pound." He pinched his belly fat while he continued to devoured the fruit. Too bad he wasn't paying attention when he heard screeching overhead. He continued down the path until he heard the screeches getting louder. "Monkeys?" He gasped when he looked in the trees overhead. "You've got to be kidding me!" A dozen or two monkeys came climbing down from the trees and came after him for the fruit in his hand. He began to run as fast as his portliness could allow him to go, but the monkeys were about to get closer. He grabbed a vine off the ground started using it like a whip. "Git!" He shouted. The monkey screeched before turning tail and running. "Next time, think twice before messing with me!" Robert warned them. "Now that my hunger is satisfied, I guess I should continue," he said to himself. |
| After walking through the jungle some more he came to a vast mountain range. "You're really close now." Said Tina "The city is just on the other side of these mountains." Looking up, Robert gulped. For one thing, he was never really comfortable around heights. Also, with the current state of his body, how was he ever going to climb all the way up there and down again? "I'm feeling merciful." Said Tina "So I'll give you a sporting chance." He heard a heehaw coming to his left, and he saw a donkey, with a saddle and bags of supplies. "Um, thanks?" He said. "Don't thank me yet." Said Tina "I said I'd give you a fair chance. I never said I'd make it easy." |
| Robert got onto the donkey. "Alright," he said. "Just get me to the city." "I'll do what I can," the donkey said. "And, I'm sorry for any inconveniences that I and the others have caused you, and will cause you." "Don't tell me, you're all those Tina has trapped?" Robert asked. "That includes the jaguar and cougar that will be coming after us," the donkey said. "Good friends when they don't have to hunt me down." "And when they do have to hunt you down?" Robert asked. "They'll just kill me," the donkey said. "You, they will toy with - they have to. You'll be glad when they can finally crush your skull. As will they." |
| As the donkey carried Robert further up the mountain, the two began to hear a rumbling sound. Robert placed his hand on his giant stomach to see if it was growling again, but instead, the rumbling was coming from the mountain in front of them. Upon closer inspection, he saw something red coming from the top. "It's a volcano!" He exclaimed. "Let's get moving!" The donkey called, showing him the path. "Isn't there a shortcut I can take?" Robert asked. "I'm not afraid not," Tina said. "That would be cheating. You'll suffer a curse for cheating." "Oh, brother," Robert muttered. |
| The donkey started to run as fast as it could along the rocky slope. Which really wasn't easy with Robert on his back. "You know, you could really stand to lose some weight." It grumbled "Hey! I'm not normally this fat! This is just because of Tina's last game. I'll turn back to normal once this is all over...right?" The donkey shrugged. "Can't really say. Nobody's ever made it that far." "Real reassuring." Robert said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hey, I'm just being honest." The donkey replied "Wouldn't want to give you false hope." |
| "So, what about the jaguar and cougar?" Robert asked. "They'll be along, soon enough," the donkey said. "As I've said, it's nothing personal, but something that they have to do." |
| At the bottom of the mountain, Robert and the donkey managed to outrun the lava dripping from the volcano. There in front of them was the multicolored path that led to the golden city. "We're almost there," Robert said. As they went further down the path. "Let's give it all we've got!" "Wait a minute," the donkey said. "It seems there's still more to come." As if right on cue, rain began to pour down from the sky heavier than usual. "Told you," the donkey said. "It must be monsoon season." Robert frowned. "I really hate that little brat," he said, cradling his large stomach in his hands. "If I ever return to my normal body, I swear I'm going to slit her throat and chop her head off with a butcher knife!" "I heard that!!!" Tina shrieked from a distance. "Besides, you can't kill me." "Why not?" Robert demanded. "If you win the game," Tina said. "You'll find out. You've got more dangers to encounter in the jungle along the way. Don't stop now." |
| "How much farther, anyway?" Robert asked the donkey. "Not much farther now. Should just be another mile or so." As they made their way along the path, Robert kept nervously looking back and forth, on the lookout for the Jaguar and Cougar, which he had no doubt would appear at any moment."So, when these cats do show up, how fast can you run?" He asked. "Not fast enough to escape them, most of the time." The donkey said "Sometimes I get lucky, though." |
| "Good news for is, they'll stop to feed on me," the donkey said. "Buys you a head start, and you could outrun them as a result." "Still sounds cruel, to just leave you," said Robert. "Well, that's a Moral Dilemma for you," the Donkey said. "Do you risk your life to try to save mine, or do you keep on heading to the finish line?" |
| "I've got a better idea," Robert said. He quickly made a bonfire and dipped a torch in, lighting the tip. "Those cats won't know what hit 'em," he said. As if right on cue, the jaguar and cougar leapt out of the bushes. Robert waved the torch in front of them, scaring them away. "And away we go!" He exclaimed. But, before they could take another step, a big animal charged toward them. "A rhinoceros!" The donkey shouted. "Whoa, Fido!" A familiar voice said. It was Tina. She was riding on the back of the rhino. "I'd like you to meet my pet, Fido," she said. "Do your parents know about him?" Robert asked. "I'm sure they don't mind," Tina said. Fido lowered his head, and with his horn, drew a line in the sand. "I dare you to cross that line," Tina said to Robert. "Yeah, right," Robert said. "I'm not going to do it." "I can fix that," Tina said. Using her powers, she made Robert levitate. "Put me down!" He protested. Tina smiled and dropped him past the line. |
| (I think this story has gone on long enough. So I'm just going to wrap it up and get us started on the next one.) This instant Robert's feet made contact with the ground, the earth began to shake and split, like an immense earthquake from nowhere. But to Robert's surprise, this seemed to cause Tina to panic, as though she wasn't causing this. "What's happening?!" She exclaimed with an obvious tone of fear. The jungle began to disappear, and for a moment, they were both standing in an empty white void. Then a booming voice called out from nowhere: "Tina! What have I told you about abusing your magic?!" There was a blinding flash, and the next thing Robert knew, he was back in Tina's bedroom. He looked around in confusion,, noticing that many of the toys Tina had before were missing. There stood the fox woman from before, Tina's ear firmly grasped between her fingers. "I'm so sorry." She said "My husband told me she was too young to learn magic. I insisted she learn early, so I guess this is partly my fault." Robert looked down to see his body was back to its normal shape. The fox lady continued " Whatever she put you through, it was all just an illusion. You were never in any real danger, if that's any comfort. Now, Tina, you apologize this instant!" Tina gave a teary eyed look as she said "Sorry, mister." "I assure you, she will be punished appropriately for this."Said Tina's mother."I've also freed her "Prisoners", for lack of a better word." Robert, however, was just relieved that it was all over. Before the vixen could say another word, he made a beeline for the front door, ran straight to his van and floored the gas, eager to get away from this place as fast as possible. Right now, all her wanted was to get home, have a good stiff drink or ten to help forget about this nightmare, and maybe in the morning he would consider finding another line of work. The Suits New York City. New Years Eve, 1999. The residence of one Jonathan Foreman. At this very moment, Mister Foreman is awaiting the arrival of his closest living relatives to spend his final evening with his family. But Mister Foreman isn't doing this for the sake of sentimentality. He knows full well that his family is just waiting for him to pass on, so they may inherit his vast fortune. Tonight, they will get their wish. But first, Jonathan has one last thing he must do. He's going to teach his family a lesson they'll never forget on this New Years Eve. Something they will carry with them well into the next millennium. Fireworks ignite the New York Skyline as Jonathan Foreman watches from the bedroom window of his penthouse suite. For months now, he has been growing steadily more weak and frail. He lies in bed with his personal physician doing some standard tests. His faithful servant, a cat man named William, awaits outside the door, dreading the news. When the doctor finally exits the room, he worriedly asks "How is he?" The doctor sighs. "I'm afraid he's in the final stages now. By my estimate, he's got until midnight tonight. Shame, too. What with it being new years. If you wish to say anything to him, now is the time to do it." William enters the room and sits by Mr. Foreman's bedside. "William." He says "You have always been so good to me. I'm just sorry that my end means you will need to find new employment." William nods sadly. "You have always been good to me in return, Mr. Foreman. Which is more than I can say for most humans. Especially your family members. No offense." Jonathan nodded. His family never was the open minded sort. "When are they coming, anyway?" William asked. "They should be here soon. I suggest you take your leave before they do. They never were very fond of your kind." Bidding each other farewell for the last time, William went to the penthouse elevator. As it opened, out stepped four humans, each looking more snobbish and stuck up than the others. William pretended to not notice their jeering glares as he boarded the elevator and made his descent. Making their way to the bedroom door, the humans greeted Mr. Foreman with cries of "Father!" and "Grandpa!". Jonathan knew it was all a load of bunk. They were here for only one reason: to claim their long awaited inheritance. "My dear family." He said with a subtle undertone of sarcasm. "Thank you all for being here. Before I depart this world, I have one request for you all." A few moments later, they were all in the living room, Mr. Foreman in a wheel chair, and his family on the furniture. "Now then, I have something for all of you." He indicated four boxes aside of him. Passing them out, the family was confused to find a costume resembling different animal in each box. "What is this, father?" Asked his daughter in law, Maggie. "This is part of my request, Maggie. Each of you are to wear these costumes until the stroke of midnight tonight. Whoever refuses, or takes off their costume before the ball drops, will be excluded from my will." |
| "What if we have some last minute errand that takes us away?" asked a grandson, who had turned 18 a couple months back. |
| "You're not going anywhere," Jonathan said with a glare. "To make sure none of you leaves this place, I'll have William lock every door." So, the family looked at their costumes and saw what which one was whose. Maggie's was a lemur. Ethan, the grandson, had a tiger costume. Cora, the granddaughter, had a wolf costume. Of course, Jonathan's son Bruce had the costume of a blue heeler. |
| The family looked hesitantly at each other. They didn't exactly want to go through with it, but if they wanted their inheritance, they had no choice. They reluctantly began to slip on the costumes. "Why is it so important that we wear these things?" Cora asked. Jonathan smirked. "Oh, you'll see soon enough." They had about three hours until midnight. The costumes were rather hot and smelled weird on the inside. But greed can be one hell of a motivator. They would stick it out, for the sake of finally getting what was theirs. |
| "Now, we have some time together until they drop the ball," said Jonathan. So, the family began sharing memories with each other while still in the costumes, waiting for the ball to be dropped. A minute before midnight, Jonathan began to feel sick. "Father, what's wrong?" Bruce asked. "My time has come," Jonathan said weakly. "Soon, you'll have everything I've owned and keep it. I've been so horrified at what you've all become. Your greed has made you into Savage animals." He was about to continue when he drew his last breath. "He's dead," Bruce said. "Now they're about to drop the ball!" When the ball was dropped, the family began to feel strange. For some reason, they were becoming dehumanized animal versions of their costumes. Bruce became a blue heeler, Cora became a wolf, Ethan became a tiger, and Maggie became a lemur. Each one tried to speak, but they couldn't. They could only make the sounds their respective species could. "An animal can only be greedy," said William, shaking his head unhappily. "If it catches its prey." The doctor came upon William calling him. Jonathan's Body was taken away while the animals that were once his family were taken the zoo. Stay tuned for our next tale from the Anthro Zone, A Shell of His Former Self. We all know the story of The Tortoise and the Hare, but what we don't know is the aftermath of the story. The hare, now out-of-shape, living on a farm with his family, he finds the answer to redoing the race when he rescues a gypsy from getting hit by a truck. But will he change the past or will he make the same mistake again? Find out in our next tale from the Anthro Zone, A Shell of His Former Self. |
| (I was actually planning on having that last story go on somewhat longer, ThunderX. But you got the gist of it out in your last addition anyway, so no big deal.) A Shell of His Former Self In a small country town of animals, there lay the O'Hare Family Farm, owned and operated by, well, the O'Hare Family of course, for as long as anyone could remember. The Father and head of the Family, Nicholas O'Hare, had inherited the farm from his father, and he from his, and so on. In his youth, Nick was known for two things: His quickness on his feet, and his arrogance. That is, until that fateful day. The day he agreed to a race against Seymour Tortoise. Nick being a rabbit and Seymour being...well, a tortoise, he thought for sure it would be the easiest victory in the history of sports. And indeed, at first he had outrun the old slowpoke by several miles. But after getting so far, he decided to take a nap halfway through the race, figuring the tortoise would never catch up. Oh, how wrong he was. He'd overslept, and by the time he awoke and made it to the finish line, the accursed turtle had already won! Needless to say, Nick never quite lived down the humiliation of that defeat. For many years afterwards, he was the laughing stock off the town. But eventually, everybody moved on and forgot about the race. Everybody except Nick. Even today, as an adult, the events of that race still linger in his mind. Now he's married with at least a dozen children, and has gained a noticeable amount of weight since then. He's no longer as fast as he used to be, but still wishes another chance to redo that race. |
| (To be fair, never saw the original, but I know that the masks warped the family. This ending is not quite what I'd of done myself. But, I digress.) Nick was at the bar one day. He was on his third drink when a vixen sat next to him. "Do you know how to make an apple martini?" she asked the bartender. "That's not one I'm real familiar with," the bartender said. "But, let me take a quick look at the recipe." They stepped back, and took a look at the recipe book. The vixen looked at Nick. "Do you come here often?" "Often enough," said Nick. He turned, and glanced at a photo, one covered up by another. What was visible was "Fastest in the land." A snort came out of the rabbit's nose. "Don't dwell upon the past too much, or you'll get stuck in it," the vixen said, once her drink was served. "What do you mean?" Nick asked. "I was stuck in a bad relationship, with someone who believed that it was for life," the vixen said. "I got out of it, but he always hunted me down. He walked through one restraining order after another, until, one fateful day..." The vixen shuddered. "I stumbled into the territory of this gang, near where I lived, and collapsed. They managed to get a doctor, who checked me out. The gang must of saw enough, and they made a choice." "What choice was that?" Nick asked. "To send him a message, and they burned his car, with a very statement to not mess with me," said the vixen. "He didn't listen, and came after me again. The choice became very clear to that gang. One made the decision to do what was needed. That one is serving 15-30 years, for murder." "So, this guy was so stuck on you, it lead to him being killed?" Nick asked. "He was," said the vixen. "However, I was so stuck on him, I couldn't trust anyone. It's funny, a group of criminals is the reason I learned to trust people again. I ended up becoming a lawyer." She looked at him. "I heard you lost a race to a tortoise because you took a nap. You've dwelt on it for years. You think that you're a loser. However, I know a few other things - you have a family. Do you want to lose them? Because something like that, is more important than some mere race. Think about that." She then paid for her drink, and left the bar. |
| As soon as Nick paid his tab, he heard some ringing coming from his overalls. He fumbled around for his phone until he fished it out of his pocket. "Hello," he said. "Hey, honey," a female voice said on the other end. "Have you gotten me anything for our anniversary?" It was Nick's wife, Rebecca. She was the only one who didn't feel ashamed of Nick when he lost the race. |
| Oh crap!, Nick thought. He had been so busy drowning his sorrows, he'd forgotten today was their anniversary! Rebecca was gonna kill him! Unless... "Well, sweetheart, I actually ordered something special for you. I'm on my way to get it right now." "Ooh, okay! I'll be waiting for you at home! The kids have been helping me prepare our special anniversary dinner. See you later! Love you!" "I love you too." Nick said almost dejectedly as he hung up. How could he have been so stupid? Now he had to find a gift for his wife, and quickly, before he missed dinner and his wife would know he forgot! Think, Nicholas, think! What could you get her that's available at this hour? |
| That was when he saw one of those sexy underwear places. "Well, I know her sizes." |
| At that moment, he noticed a young gypsy woman walking into the street just as a truck was heading toward her. "Look out!" He shrieked. He leapt out and pushed her out of the way. She looked at him and gave him a smile. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm already married." He rushed toward the store and grabbed a set of women's pajamas for her. At the checkout, he swore he saw that gypsy woman checking out in a different lane. He just shrugged it off. When he got home, he presented the pajamas to Rebecca. "Happy anniversary!" He announced. Rebecca smiled. "Thanks," she said. "I don't have any pajamas in mauve at all." She and Nick shared a kiss when their six daughters and six sons were sitting at the table. When Nick and Rebecca had a son, they'd have a daughter next and so on and so forth. |
| The next day, as Nick was on his way to work, he ran into the gypsy woman once more. "Oh, hello." He said, Surprised to see her. The gypsy, an old Catwoman, said "Tell me, sir. What do you regret most in your life?" Caught off guard by the question, Nick paused for a long moment before responding "You're new in town, aren't you? You must be if you don't know who I am. Well, if you must know, years ago I lost a race to a tortoise, if you can believe that. Ever since, I've been the joke of this town. If I could have anything I wanted, it would be the chance to redo that race." |
| "There's all kinds of races," said the gypsy. "Perhaps you should check up on him, and see how he is now, instead of dwelling upon past defeats. Maybe his life isn't as successful as yours. A simple footrace means nothing, compared to winning a fortune, only to lose everything as a result. I've seen that before. By contrast, I've also seen someone have nothing, only to gain everything." |
| "You know," Nick said. "Seymour did start a sporting goods shop called Seymour's Sportstorium. I wonder if I won that race, I'd have my own." "Perhaps I can help with that," the gypsy said. "Meet me at sunshine at the lighthouse." "The abandoned one?" Nick asked. "Yes," the gypsy replied before leaving. So, that's what happened. At sunset, the two met at the abandoned lighthouse, the gypsy bringing a pie the size of the palm of a hand. She took out a flask, cut open the pie, and poured in a black powder that looked like pepper. Then, the pie sealed itself up. "One bite of this pie," she said. "And you'll go back to the day you regret the most to fix your mistake." |
| Nick hesitated. This all seemed almost like the old gypsy woman was playing a cruel joke on him. But, he thought, what the hell? It can't hurt. Taking the pie in his hand, he tossed it into his mouth, and chewed before swallowing it whole. Immediately, he began to feel dizzy, as though the very ground beneath him was spinning faster and faster. He also felt rather sleepy, and began to lose consciousness. The last thing heard before passing out was the gypsy saying "Good luck. And be sure to make the most of your second chance. Not many people get one." Everything went black. When he woke up, he was astonished to see his body was now back to its skinnier, younger self! Whatever that gypsy had put into the pie, it had really worked! Looking around, he recognized where he stood as where he had decided to take a nap in the middle of that race so many years ago! He definitely wasn't going to make that same mistake again. He took off towards the finish line as fast as his feet could carry him. Which was pretty quick, being his younger self again. "I'm actually gonna do it!" He said to himself as he saw the finish line up ahead. |
| That was when he tripped on a rock, and face-planted. "Are you sure that winning this race will mean everything?" a voice in his head asked. It was the gypsy. "You could lose something very important." That was when he had a vision of his wife and children. Of them being happy, and then, being gone, as if having faded away, as if they were no longer part of his future. "There is always a cost," the voice said. "Win the race, and you lose them. Lose the race, you keep them." |
| When Nick stood up, he saw the gypsy on the side. "Have you decided to lose or win?" She asked him. Nick turned to see Seymour far behind. "I've got a better idea," he said. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. "Very well," she said, pulling a tear-shaped vial out of her dress. In it was a liquid that looked like Coca-Cola. She pulled the cork off and handed it to Nick. With one gulp, he drank the juice until it was empty. Then he began to see nothing but his paws until his eyes were shut. When we awoke, he saw the ceiling of his home on the farm. Looking to his side, he saw Rebecca fast asleep. He heaved himself out of bed and headed to get his shower started. Upon walking past the bathroom mirror, he noticed he was back to his older years, but he was still skinny like he was in his younger years. He looked at the scale in the corner and went to check his weight. Obviously, he was about the same weight as he was in his youth. After he showered up and got dressed, the first thing he did was go downstairs and pick up the phone. He dialed for the operator and waited for an answer. "How can I help you?" She asked. "I'd like to call a Mr. Seymour Tortoise," Nick said. "Checking," the operator said. Nick would pound his foot on the floor at random until the operator was done. "I'm sorry, sir," she told him. "There's no one with the name Seymour Tortoise in our listings." "I knew that," Nick said. "Sorry to waste your time." He hung up and sighed with relief that he had prevented the birth of Seymour by drinking that potion. If Seymour never existed, their race never happened. "I should probably go see the gypsy and have him brought back," he said, reaching for the door. "Nah. It's better this way." |
| "Are you sure?" Came the gypsy's voice "Is it really fair to erase your rival from existence in order to improve your own life?" |
| "Um, tell me, with him not around, what else changed?" Nick asked. "With no Seymor Tortoise, there was no Sampson Tortoise, and thus no Simon Tortoise," the gypsy said. "Specifically, Doctor Simon Tortoise, the one who figures out a cure to a deadly condition that will affect rabbits in a few decades. Without him, you will lose your great-grandchildren, and your line will die." "So, for my family to live, my rival must also live," said Nick. "He must also win the race," said the gypsy. "Winning the race made him open the store. An interest in sports lead Sampson to become a physical therapist, which lead to Simon to study viruses, which leads to him saving the lives of your family." "So, for my family's sake, I must lose," said Nick. "Yep." |
| So, the gypsy provided Nick with a potion. One drink and Nick was back on the day of the race. "You can make it, Seymour," he said as he watch his opponent slowly trod over the hill. When Seymour did come, Nick stepped aside and let him cross the finish line. Upon that happening, Nick found himself back in the present, but he was back to being chubby again. He grabbed the phone and dialed Seymour's number. |
| "Hello?" "Hey, Seymour. It's Nick." "Oh, hey! How are you, Nick? Haven't heard from you in quite a while." "Yeah. So, how's the sports business going?" "Oh, good. I'm actually thinking of opening a new location soon. How's the family? You're up to, what now? Ten kids?' "Twelve, actually. Six boys and six girls." "Really? Wow, I guess it's true what they say about rabbits and reproducing." They both laughed. "So, Seymour...you remember that race we had all those years ago?" "Oh yeah. For what it's worth, I never meant to embarrass you so much. But hey, you still managed to find a good wife and have a beautiful family, right? So I guess it all worked out in the end, huh?" "Yeah. I guess it did." |
| "Well, I got to go," said Seymour. "Sampson is trying to become a physical therapist or something - taking on extra course work and such where biology is concerned. Bound to be a doctor at any rate." "Wish him luck for me," said Nick. He hung up. Things would turn out well, now. The Shepherd and The Wolf "I wish something would happen," said a human woman, as she flung a rock into a hillside pond, shattering her reflection. "I'm just bored." Linda - an 18-year sheepherder, watched over the village's sheep herd. An attractive woman from the left side. On the right side of her face, a different story. A particularly large brand was burned onto her cheek, stating who owned her, among other things. This is because, you see, Linda wasn't even worth the status of a Slave, or a Pet even. She was a Meat Human. Her Master, a bear anthro, believed that was all humans were good for, or for sex, unless they showed a special talent. Linda was good with the sheep her Master owned - a breed that, even the worst of which was worth far more than she was. If something happened to one of them, it was the dinner table for her. That was when she heard something. She turned, and saw a wolf anthro was walking towards her. It was clear that he wasn't from the village. He walked with a staff, his left leg limping from some past injury. He also looked to be around her age. He was also quick enough to get up to her before she figured out what to do. "Anyone own this pond?" he asked. Linda shook her head. "No one." The wolf sat on a nearby stump, got out string and hook, which he applied to the stick. Then, her dug up a worm, which he placed on the hook, and soon, the line was in the water. "You got a name?" the wolf asked. "Linda." "I'm Max," the wolf said. "Know of anyone who might temporarily take on a cripple for short-term work?" "I don't know," said Linda. "My Master might." "Master?" Max asked. He looked at her. "Are you telling me that you're Owned?" "I'm a Meat Human," said Linda. "How long have you been owned?" Max asked, concerned. "And, why were you made a Meat Human? Did you kill someone?" "No," said Linda, puzzled. "I was born to Meat Humans, and thus I was branded a Meat Human." "Linda, owning humans as Slaves, Pets, or Livestock, has been illegal in this country for fifteen years," said Max. "Unless you committed something like murder, you're supposed to have a Declared Free mark on you, among other things. Just who is your Master to just declare you a Meat Human and not set you free?" "He is the Mayor," said Linda. "And, I guess he Owns the Law," said Max. "His brother is the Sheriff of the village," said Linda. "They control everything." "Guess they didn't like what happened as a result of the Royal Decree," said Max. "What Royal Decree?" Linda asked. "Long story short, an Evil Earl tried to kill the Crown Prince while they were out hunting, with the assistance of assassins, almost succeeding," said Max. "However, Feral Humans found him, nursed him back to full health, and, basically, brought him back just as the Prince's funeral was being held. Prince accused the Earl of attempted Regicide, Earl tried to kill him, again. Big fight. Earl threw an axe at the Prince, only for a Feral to push him out of the way, taking the axe in the Prince's place. Prince killed the Earl, checked on the Feral, only, he was dead. As a result, a Royal Decree was made - all humans were to have the same rights as any of the Anthros. In fact, anyone defying that order risks execution." "How do you know of this?" Linda asked. At this, Max pulled out a rather ornate ring. "That Prince is my older half-brother," the wolf said. "He'd be most displeased to hear that this Decree, made to honor the sacrifice of that Feral's life, wasn't being followed." He then jerked on the line, pulling out a large trout. "Hungry?" Linda's stomach growled. Max chuckled. "I'll take that as a 'Yes'." |
| "You there!" Boomed a loud voice. Linda turned around to find her master, Mayor Peter "PB" Burton. He was a bear anthro dressed in a mayoral uniform. He was large for his species. He had won 10 annual pie-eating contests, no doubt. "Sorry, Mayor PB," Linda said. "I was just talking to this-" She turned to Max, but the wolf was gone. "No more lying," Mayor PB warned. "You might blow a fuse." "I know my duties," Linda said. "Is there any chance I could see my family again?" Mayor PB frowned and stared at her. "Excuse me?" He asked. "What did you say?" "I just wanted to know if I could see my family again," Linda said. |
| The Mayor grinned, showing his sharp teeth. "Oh, you'll see them again, alright. See them in the afterlife if you ever dare disobey me or try to run away!" Linda gasped "You don't mean..." PB nodded, his malicious grin widening. "That's right, your family is history! Now, come with me back home. I've still got work for you to do." But instead of following, Linda sank to her knees and burst into tears. "Oh, knock it off!" PB snarled "Before I give you a real reason to cry!" He grabbed her by the wrist and practically dragged her through town back home, before locking her in the basement for the night as punishment for embarrassing him in public with her sobbing. Linda curled up in the corner and tried to sleep, praying that this was all just a bad dream. |
| That was when a mouse popped out from a pouch she had on her. "Wow, and here I thought that Ferals had it rough," the mouse said, scurrying to the floor. "Still, at least they do so of their own free will." The mouse then changed into mouse-sized version of Max, with all his clothes and such. The tiny wolf turned to look at Linda. "Sorry for the Vanishing Act back at the pond, but I couldn't just let you accidentally say that a Royal was in town, lest your Master put on the Stern Step-father Act or something." "So, you heard everything?" Linda asked. "I heard, and I got what he inferred," said Max, as he grew back to his regular size. He then took off his traveling bag, and got out a smoked trout. "Do you still want some? It's cold, but it's still good." Linda nodded. Max got out some plates, placed them on the floor, and placed plenty of fish on both. He then picked up his own. "Enjoy." Linda began to pick up pieces of fish, and ate it, enjoying every bite. When she ate her fill, she set the plate aside. Max soon finished his. "You have questions," he said. "Ask them." "How were you able to turn yourself unto a mouse?" Linda asked. "That's two questions," said Max. "For the first, I made myself small, and then turned myself into a mouse - I'm not good enough to do both at the same time." "And the second?" "A little more complicated, but basically, my father was trying to save his wife from a rather deadly disease," said Max. "The only ones that knew how to cure it was a group of druids. They were willing to do so, but for a fee." "What was the fee?" Linda asked. "Either to have his son marry the druid leader's daughter, and have children with her, which would ruin an agreement that the kingdom had made with another, or he himself could produce the child, out of wedlock," said Max. "So, to save his wife, he fathered me, and has to deal with the fact that not only did he father a bastard, he fathered a bastard that can use magic, to a certain extent." "Is that an issue?" Linda asked. "Being a bastard is bad enough," said Max. "Being someone that can use magic, somehow makes it worse." He tapped his bad leg. "My brother eventually got the crown, and he asked me to travel the lands a few years back, to see if the decree he'd had made, was being followed. Well, someone didn't like that a magic user was in their village, so, they attacked me with a shovel, breaking my leg." "What did you do?" Linda asked. "Well, in self-defense, I shrunk them to the size of a mouse," said Max. "I then grabbed him, and I got a good look at him. Got to admit, I enjoyed having that feeling of having power over him. I told him to either apologize to me, or be forever stuck that size. He was smart enough to apologize. So, I placed a delayed version of the growth spell upon them - they'd be back to normal within a week, but, until then, they'd learn humility. Then, I had to get my leg splinted, and wait for it to heal, meaning I was there when the fool was back to their normal size. They apologized to me again, and I ain't heard anything bad about them since. Once I was good enough to travel, I went on my way. It hasn't been easy, but I think it has been worth it." "So, have you ever eaten human meat?" Linda asked. "Yes," said Max. "It's a funeral option for those who die honorably, or as a means to execute certain criminals." "So, will you be able to help me?" Linda asked. Max looked at her. "I should be able to," he said. "I was able to see that the decree wasn't being followed, as you're not the only enslaved human in the village. The question is if the then-Mayor, back when the decree was made, made it known, or didn't, and if possible, what happened. Of course, if that current fool decided to ignore it, especially since it seems he took power not long after the decree was issued, then what he's doing is a form of Treason. As I've said, all humans, unless found guilty of certain crimes, are to be free." "So, what are you going to do?" Linda asked. Max grinned. "See about getting a temporary job here, one that will allow me to look around," he said. "Now, unless we're alone, like when you're watching the sheep, do not let on that you know me, and never tell anyone about my true identity, not if you want to be free." "I understand," said Linda. "Still, we do this right, you'll be more than welcome to come with me," said Max. "Traveling can get lonely." |
| At that moment, Linda started hearing strange electronic noises. She groaned and grabbed the axe hanging on the wall. She began to chop down the basement door until it came down. She rushed out of the mayor's house and ran down the street. It wasn't long before she came across the mayor brother, Sheriff John Burton. He was older and larger than PB himself. "Hello, Linda," he greeted. "Aren't you a little far from home?" "Sorry," Linda said. "I was just hearing some-" She didn't finish her sentence because she heard those electronic noises again. She lifted John with Herculean strength, carried him to the bridge, tied a rope around his ankle and a heavy rock to the other end, and tossed him into the river. She watched him until he stopped breathing. "What have I done?" She said to herself, realizing she had killed him. |
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