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Another chapter from my book For All the Wrong Rea$on$ |
| [Introduction] I’M POSITIVE These last few months had been had on me. With the frequent trips back and forth to NC to see my lil mama, school, balancing two jobs and the nightmares, I was beat. “What else could go wrong,” I asked my aloud as I grabbed the mail from the mailbox and headed to my apartment. While reading the yellow index card I knew it had to be mistaken or I was trippin’ to say the least. After reading the card for a fifth time I made it my business to call the number printed on the bottom. “WE Care Medical, this is Jai speaking. How may I help you?” After properly introducing myself I explained the nature of my call. Before hanging up I was given a name and an address and was told that it was urgent that I came in. I was both shock and confused but I called out of work and ditched my classes just to attend this appointment. I needed to know what the hell was going on. I sat in that damn waiting room for nearly an hour before I was called to see the doctor. Dr. Talbert walked me to her office and began to explain the nature of my visit. “A month back you came for a routine check up and had an HIV test performed. Well your results came back positive. We’ve been trying to contact you every since.” “WHAT!” I jumped out of the chair. I didn’t even remember coming here for a damn HIV test. How the hell? Seriously though? Why me? “Settle down Ms. Dowell! There are ways of handling this!” ”Did you just tell me to settle down? Bitch are you crazy? You gonna sit here and tell me I got HIV but you want me to settle down! You done lost your fucking mind! I have to much to live for! How could this happen to me though?” I cried. “Sweetie,” Dr. Talbert came from behind her desk to comfort me. “This could have happened to anybody. It could’ve been me! But I’m going to help you get through this. So wipe your face and stop all that crying.” She smiled. “There are two other things I need from you well three. I need names, numbers and addresses of all of you sex partners within the last few years.” “Well that shouldn’t be hard!” I giggled, which shocked us both. In the mist of this chaos I found humor. That was strange. “What’s funny Ms. Dowell?” “I’m not laughing because it’s funny it’s a nerve thing. I laugh when I’m nervous. But this is ironic that this happened to me and I’ve only been with three people my entire life!” She handed me a pen and a piece of paper and I scribble down the names, addresses and phone numbers of all three of my sexual partners. J’Mar Williams 12 N Hunting St 410-637-xxxx Marc Jones Miami, Fl 305-736-xxxx Donté Smitt (DECEASED) I handed her the paper. As she examined it her eyes grew wide. “If I may ask, how did Donté die?” “We were in a car crash and he didn’t make it! Anything else you want to know?” I sassed. “No.” was her only reply before she made me do grief counseling. But my mind was anywhere but in that room during the time. The drive home had to be the worst experience ever. I cried and I cried. I had just turned 21, and had only been with three guys in my life and this shit happens to me! Why? Breathing became unbearable. Driving became intolerable. I was forced to pull over at a local BP just to get myself together. Now my only question was where did this shit come from? I guess the good thing was I’d only been with three guys so the search was pretty narrow. It was one of the three, J’Mar, Donté or Marc. I hadn’t been with J’Mar since prom night in high school. That was just over 5 years ago, and I know we hadn’t used a condom. I had four year old proof of that. But I’d had check up since then. Marc and I always used them because he was terrified of children. Then there was Donté God rest his soul. We rarely used condoms in the 2 ½ years we were together. So it had to be him. Oh if he ass wasn’t already dead I’D KILL HIM! |
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