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Rated: E · Campfire Creative · Short Story · Experience · #1620761
The hilarious incident where we sneaked a cigarette at school
[Introduction]
Poof Goes the Jacket!

It was a freezing cold February day. I was fresh off an hour's ride to town on the 72 and I met up with my best friend BJ in the Inner Court of BHS. It was our daily meeting place, one of the few areas where students were permitted to go for a smoke between classes. The wind blew raw and the temperature hovered well in the vicinity of -40. "I think we should take our chances and sneak a cig between the doors," an obviously chilled BJ suggested.
"Good idea! You can't light a match in this!" I agreed without hesitation.
It was warmer in between the doors and we felt the awful wind as it tried to reach us. It howled between the cracks of the glass doors and chilled us to the bones. BJ opened her pack and extracted a cigarette. She flicked the head of a strike-anywhere match against the zipper of her jeans and lighted up. "We'll share this one. I don't want to smoke a whole one just in case someone should come. I'm already in trouble for jigging three classes on Monday."
"Sounds good to me. I'll watch the door."

I kept a keen watch for any approaching teachers, especially Lucifer the principal. Every time someone approached, we tucked the cigarette into a pocket or up into our coat sleeves to conceal it. Before long, I spotted a familiar figure making its way down the pathway that crossed the Inner Court. "We got company," I warned BJ. A moment later, I recognized the figure and it was too late to dispose of the cigarette without being noticed. Bulldog Gammon, the meanest teacher in the school, reached for the door handle and pulled it open. Thinking quickly, BJ hid the cigarette in her hand and pulled her arm up her parka sleeve. Bulldog paused for a moment and gave both of us this weird look. "You're not smoking here, are you? I certainly can smell it."
"No, ma'am," said BJ with a straight face. "We're hiding from the cold."
The air suddenly took on a very strange and strong smell. Something was burning! Seconds later, the sleeve of BJ's green parka caught on fire! I saw the widening hole where the cigarette burned through the material. It let off a powerful stench that caused our eyes to water. "To the office!" barked the Bulldog. "Both of you! I knew I smelled smoke!"
"Oh shit! That's my brand new coat!" BJ quickly wiggled herself out of the parka, dropped it to the vestibule floor and quickly stomped hard to put out the flames with her boots. There was a gaping black-rimmed hole where the cigarette burned through the lining and nylon outer shell. I saw the look of absolute disgust on BJ's face when she picked up her ruined parka and we followed the Bulldog to Lucifer's office.

"I caught these two troublemakers smoking in the entrance by the Inner Court," Bulldog proudly told Lucifer. "Brenda's coat caught on fire because she was trying to hide the cigarette from me." Lucifer glared at us. I gulped and I heard BJ do the same.
"Smoking inside the school?" growled Lucifer, who was clearly annoyed. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
I merely shrugged as I noticed the long and smoking cigarette perched on the glass ashtray on his desk. "It's too cold to smoke outside. We didn't mean for this to happen," BJ explained and I saw that she was trying hard not to crack a smirk.
Lucifer paused momentarily before he rendered what he called punishment. "Lunchtime detention for a whole two weeks for both of you!" he said in his delicate voice. "And if you miss just one detention, another week will be added to your punishment! Miss Brenda, you get an extra week for Monday's unexcused absence! You were absent for three afternoon classes without a valid reason. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes....Sir," I muttered after catching myself about to say Ma'am."
"And you, Miss Brenda? I expect you will be in the detention room as well. Go immediately to class, both of you! And, if you're caught smoking in school again, it'll be a week's suspension!"
"Can you believe it? Man, that sucks!" said BJ as we headed off to class. "Oh well, if he suspends me, it'll be vacation."
"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," I grinned, swallowing my displeasure at losing two weeks of lunchtime and hanging out downtown. "Perhaps he should make us scrub the gym floor with a toothbrush! Now that's punishment!"

Detention at BHS was no picnic. We were not allowed to bring any work to the detention room. We had to sit absolutely still for a whole hour, our hands folded neatly on top of the desk. We could not glance sideways, grin or talk. Doing so resulted in extra day being tacked on. Somehow, we managed to endure the punishment and wolfed down our sandwiches at our lockers in the few minutes grace we had before the afternoon bell and the beginning of another class.

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