Desert

Life In The Desert



I was lost in a desert. Left meandering about all alone and helpless. Scared, boiling with fever, worried, and dying inside. I can remember dropping to my knees from deprivation of courage as if i had dehydrated in this neverending graveyard. There were times when i would fall, not only to my knees but on my face or back, and think "This is the end. This is where i will forever lay to be forgotten. Buried with all the insects, snakes, and shrubs that have died off and are now only fossils." There were times when i would stop in the middle of walking just to look up to the heavens and ask god, some god i knew nothing about, if this was what was meant for me. If so why wouldnt he just take my life and instead of torturing me. The sun never ceased to beat down on me and became a symbol of every burden i had and was carring on my back. I hated my life. I can remember every hallucination i had. To me they seemed symbolic of every hope and goal i had made in life. They were always withing my vision but yet could never be obtained. I can remember times when i wanted to cry, there were even times when i tried to do so, but could not do so with success because my body had no tears left to shed. But after all i had been through i have one memory of that terrible experience that had a greater impact on me and who i am today than anything else that has help me get here. I remember falling once again to my knees and looking out into the dusty haze in a daze knowing deep inside that was the end. If help wasnt there right then i was a dead man. And I can remember seeing my final hallucination over the horizon and reaching out and pleading with a yell that came out as a whisper for some help. And to my amazement the hallucination continued to move my way. I gained a kinda courage and hope like i hadnt felt in years. I began to pass out for the final time and was laying on my back watching the buzzards soaring in the sky above me waiting to devour me and watching them hastily become little dots in a sky filled with nothing but sunlight and despair. Then, by some miracle workings, my vision was blotted out by an unknown dark patch that only left slivers of light here and there. I remember waking some period of time later to the sound of people crying, hoarsely stating just how sorry they were for letting me slip into a state of mind as horrible as this without even offering a hand of help, and praying to god to bring me back to them. They needed me to be there for them and they wanted the "old me" back. Now I stand here as a man and i have all the confidence i need to survive and stay away from that previous life. I now know that vision of the desert i had was my body and minds way of telling myself just how i felt. I was a way for me to realize somethings in life. And i also know what the black splotch at the end of he vision was. It was a hand, or some hands, reaching out to pick me up. The hand, or hands, was a pictoral symbol of the encouragement and faith a certain someone, or people, had in me. And because of where this has all lead me today i want to thank you all.

This is my shoutout to all of those who had faith in me when i hit rock bottom. This is my memory and desciption of what life was like at that point in time and the way i was rescued and given new hopes and dreams. So thank you all especially Heaven, Adain, Jim ("James") Bryant, and Cory ("Mancock") Hecock. I couldnt have done this without you all or any of the others that had faith in me and i definitely wouldnt have the life i have now.



By Donald D. Kenworthy Jr.