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A place to keep my entries for various contests and challenges |
| This book is not only a place to create, keep, and store contest entries, it's also a log of items that may one day become something more. |
For "Andre's Fractured Resolutions Blog-O-Thon!"  , prompt 2: I resolve to take a nice healthy hike!Why? I'll tell you why. Quite often I stop to blog for your reading enjoyment, but when I tell you what I'm blogging about, you ask me why. What the hell difference does it make? Andre, through one of his henchmen employees posts prompts and I write on them. Now, can I get on with my story? I decided I need to shed quite a few pounds, so I'm eating healthier and getting more exercise. The best exercises is walking, so I decided I should walk down to "Invalid Item" . I figured this to be a nice hike and I can get something to drink; it's important to stay hydrated.Andre was prying apart some pallets. "I see you've sold the bar and are building a new one." "Yeah, what you up too?" I told him and he said, "I should get back in shape, you know." I nodded as I looked around trying to see where I could get a beer. "Yeah, I put on a few pounds, I think it was the banana bread. I'll make another New Years Resolution, take a hike everyday." "It don't work that way, you make your New Years resolutions on New Years. Besides, didn't you resolved to not resolve any more?" "Okay, I'll make a New Weeks resolution, take a nice healthy hike everyday." "That's better," I lied, "Where you thinking of hiking?" "I could hike down to the gas station and swipe their ass-wipe." He thought hard for a few minutes then added, "Better idea:. You want hike, so you hike down, get the paper, then drop it off here. I'll give you a beer for it." I shook my head, "How's this gonna help you lose that pudgy gut?" "Who the hell you calling pudgy? That's it, you want to come back, you better have paper. Call me pudgy, you better take a hike!" I walked to the door wondering how things had ended up going the way they had. Just before I closed the door, Andre yelled, "Don't forget the toilet paper!" A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Fractured Resolutions Blog-O-Thon!" , prompt: I hereby resolve NOT to make any New Year's Resolutions at all. It's funny you should mention this, I resolved back in 2002 (yes I'm that old) the same resolution. It went something like this, "Dad, it's midnight, what's your New Year's resolution?" I thought on it as I sipped my cocktail, we had been drinking White Russians most of the night as well as a variety of shots tossed in randomly, so it took a while to think. "I'm not sure I want to make one, they never last more than a few days, maybe a week." "But, it's traditional; you have too." "Fine, but I need another drink while I think of something." Jim Bob (not his real name) got up and proceeded to fix me another while I pondered resolutions. After he returned and handed me my beverage, I told him I had the perfect resolution, "I resolve that this will be my last resolution and will make no more." He laughed and said it wasn't a real resolution. "I informed him that I had technically stated it as my resolution, therefore it was legal and binding." "We'll see." He figured I would forget and make another resolution on the next start of a year, but I never did. To this day, I proudly claim to have kept that last resolution to make no new resolutions on New Years Eve. Not long ago, in a bar not so far, far away, a monkey told me he too had resolved not to resolve. But, Andre had been hitting the banana bitters pretty hard that night. As he came out of the bathroom wiping his hand on his leg, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "It's midnight, and I resolve to start buying toilet paper first thing tomorrow morning. But, we're out now, would you run down the street and get some from the gas station?" "They sell toilet paper?" "No, you fool; they sell gasoline. But they always have a few rolls in the crapper. Go grab 'em and put 'em in the stalls." A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Fractured Resolutions Blog-O-Thon!" , prompt: I resolve to finally sell the house. Is Andre selling the bar, whos house is he selling? Is your Muse raising money? What's going on? I can't resolve to sell my house, since I rent. If I could get a way with it, I would sell it to myself for a fraction of what it's worth, but I think the landlord would frown upon that. With that out of the way, I wonder if Andre is thinking about selling the bar. I'll have to stop in and ask him if he resolved to sell. It's later now. I left and visited the bar, asking Andre if the rumors were true. Andre informed me, "Those damn rumors are all made up! I didn't do it and no one can prove otherwise." I stopped him with a wave of my hand, "Not those rumors, the one about selling the bar." "Oh, that. I thought you meant the other things. Yeah, I think it's time to sell the bar. It's not like a resolution, I just mentioned to someone or another that i wanted to sell the bar this year." "What will you do? Are you retiring?" "What? No, I like running this place, I like the people, well a few of them, and have big plans for this place." "Then, why are you selling the bar?" "You idiot, I'm not selling the building, just the bar. It's old, falling apart, and needs to be replaced. I figure I'll have the staff rip out the old bar and put it out front with a "For Sale" sign on it. Then, we'll build a new one with all the old pallets out back." That was the conversation, honest apes. Oh, I forgot, Andre is trying to sell a house. It's the one across the ally. Andre informed me he's tired of the guy complaining about all the noise at the bar, so he swiped borrowed a house for sale sign from down the street and put it out front. He also asked, "Is Halo (my muse) making any money?" I didn't think so, or at least I haven't seen any of it. Andre explained that she's been stopping by the bar and selling ideas to some King guy... I had no idea! A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
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Man, you know nothing about monkey business! Never poke your nose in them.
