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Entries for various contests and challenges, as well as buffoonery and poppycock. |
| This is a place for me to write entries for contests and challenges, as well as general items of nonsensical contents. Although most of these items are short and condensed, they may one day become something more. |
| American presidents have come in all sizes from Abe Lincoln at six foot, four inches to Jim Madison at five foot, four inches. Likewise, their wights also span a great distance with Bill Taft tipping the scales at a whopping three hundred and forty pounds and of course Jim Madison (again) barely moving the scale at a measly one hundred pounds. Big Bill Taft stood five foot, five inches, only one inch taller than Lil' Jim Madison! If they could have stood side by side, what a sight that would have been! President Taft was nicknamed: "Big Bill" and "Big Chief", which are both very fitting. I wonder, if he ever told anyone in congress who disagreed to, "Get in my belly!" He served four years and was likely not elected for second term mainly because they couldn't afford to feed him for another four years and for fear that if he did get reelected, they may not be able to get him back out without installing a garage door. President Madison was nicknamed "Father of the Constitution", which is a bit ironic since he was the size of a mid-teen child. I wonder if anyone ever asked, "What's that kid doing in here?" Only to discover he was the Commander in Chief! Madison served two terms but it's possible he may have hid under some furniture so they couldn't remove him. To wrap this up, I would like to add that it's good that Taft and Madison were not in the capital at the same time or it's likely they would have been nicknamed, "Fat Bastard and Mini Me"... "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| Word count: 286 One day, as I sat along the banks of a river eating an ice cream cone and contemplating a story in the Newsfeed by Adherennium - Maybe Writing?   , I saw a line of six TRIDs (Tiny, Rare, Industrious, Ducks) advancing towards the bridge. As I continued to contemplate and watch, the six TRIDs began crossing the bridge only to have a mean, ugly, and foul smelling troll come out from under the bridge. He, she, it, (I’m not sure, it’s hard to tell with trolls) climbed the bank and ran onto the bridge and proceeded to kick the TRIDs off the bridge and into the water. After the last TRID was booted off the bridge, the troll returned to it’s dwelling under the bridge.The TRIDs swam back to their side of the river, climbed the bank, and again approached the bridge and begin crossing. The troll instantly climbed the bank, ran onto the bridge and started kicking the poor TRIDs off again. This sequence of events continued a few more times, until the troll had kicked the crap out of the TRIDs (the bridge was literally covered in TRID s***! Having enough of this, tired, and frustrated, the s***less TRIDs vanished back the way they had come. Curious, I walked over te the bridge and stepped onto it, expecting the nasty troll to run out and kick me. I was half right, the troll did run up the bank and onto the bridge, but stopped when it saw me. “You’re not a TRID, go ahead and cross.” Confused, I asked, “But why then do you kick the TRIDs?” The troll shook it’s hideous head and replied, “I thought everyone knew, kicks are for TRIDs!” "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
Written for February - SHORT MONTH, SHORT BLOGS Word Count 102 Toby had a motorbike, wherever I went I had to hike. I asked him for a ride one day, he said yes, but I'd have to pay. I asked him how much the fee would be, he answered back, "I don't know, we'll have to see." I climbed on the back and we motored away; the wrong direction I have to say. He stopped ten miles away. "Five bucks you have to pay." I explained, "You went the wrong way! Take me back or I won't pay." "Fine," he said, "get off my bike," Now I have ten more miles to hike! "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
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And the Jackie Gleason Show. I was pretty young, but my dad always watched it. And the Flintstones, Woody Woodpecker, and Yogi Bear. 
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