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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/2268413-Alotta-Monkey-Business/month/11-1-2023
Rated: ASR · Book · Contest · #2268413
A place to keep my entries for various contests and challenges
This book is not only a place to create, keep, and store contest entries, it's also a log of items that may one day become something more.
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November 30, 2023 at 7:44pm
November 30, 2023 at 7:44pm
#1060350
Written for "Invalid Item, prompt: National Personal Space Day

Just getting online for the first time today, so I thought I better get this written first and then go visit the Newsfeed, my Notifications, and if time permits, try to get through my email. It seems like things are just staying very busy and for some reason, I feel like there just aren't as many hours in each day as we are supposed to get. It may be some kind of government conspiracy to keep everyone scrambling; instead of setting the clocks back in Autumn, they may have also increased the speed of the atomic clocks, which is affecting all our electronic clocks. After I finish this post, I may go dig out an old clock that doesn't automatically adjust to the current time and see if we are losing five or ten minutes from every hour.

Where did I get such a crazy idea? I was over at "Invalid Item sipping on a glass of banana beer, which surprisingly isn't that bad. Andre lumbered over and started telling me how he was having a difficult time keeping up with all the bar business (actually he does little and lets the staff run everything) and was finding it difficult to consume his normal amount of liquor every day. He mentioned this conspiracy but didn't have time to finish discussing it because he saw a patron sneaking dried banana chips from his stash.

But, this isn't about time, it's about personal space, something I firmly believe in. I do not do crowds well at all and generally feel best when I'm just around a few people, or none at all. So, what better topic than National Personal Space Day?

This is important to many people, and there are just some who insist on getting up front and too close. Especially, this time of year when the stores are crowded and everyone seems to think it's enjoyable to step right up and start a conversation.

Yesterday, my wife and I had to drive over to the town we bank in to deposit a check and do a bit of shopping. The check wouldn't deposit via the app on our phone because of the position of the watermark, and since we needed to pick up a few things, it seemed like a good day to get things done; I mean, it was early afternoon, around mid-week, and still a safe distance from Christmas.

Boy was I wrong. The traffic was heavier than I expected, especially in town. The bank was fine, not a soul in sight, but after we drove to the fleet store, the parking lot was about filled and it was wall-to-wall people inside. I decided to shop anyway, so we grabbed a cart and progressed down the aisles, but it was a challenge to swerve and avoid other shoppers, it was frustrating trying to look at anything because it seemed like whenever we stopped to look, someone would push in and stand in the way. The worst, however, was the number of people who just stepped right up to me (like four to six inches from my face) and started making small talk! (I enjoy "SMALL TALK here, it's always at a safe distance)

I don't know who they are, I am not interested in their pets, children, grandchildren, or where they're planning on spending the holidays. Yes the weather is nice for this time of year, but I already noticed when I stepped out my door, I don't need someone to inform me this isn't normal for our location. Being an introvert this is not only unwelcome, it's criminal!

So, in honor of National Back the F%ck Off Personal Space Day, I want to remind everyone, to respect each other's personal space... Thank you for understanding.

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 29, 2023 at 9:15pm
November 29, 2023 at 9:15pm
#1060296
Written for "Invalid Item, prompt: Throw Out Your Leftovers Day.

Yes, a specific day is set aside to throw out your leftovers; November 29. So, before you head off to bed, throw that nasty, fuzzy, and stinky old food out. Seriously, it's not a double meaning, the day's objective is to convince people to throw out uneaten meals that are decomposing in their refrigerators.

But, are we to wait through the year to throw out that nasty, rotten container of some past feast? If it sits for that long, it may develop into some kind of mutant life form and escape into the wild as soon as the fridge door is opened. At the very least, opening the container may reveal several blinking eyes and a smell that would chase away magots.

Perhaps the powers that be, who decided these annual days, should reconsider and make it a monthly, if not weekly activity. I know I try and use leftovers up in a day or two, but sometimes they get pushed to the back and sit for a week before being discovered. When that happens, it is instant transportation to the trash. And, on very rare occasions, a container of food hides itself long enough to grow more hair than I have, and or, changes from some recognizable morsel of food into something alien-looking, I toss the whole container. For one I don't want to unleash some kind of mutant life form on the planet, and even more importantly, I don't want to break the airtight seal and release the noxious smell into the house.

Anyway, I digress. Today is Throw Out Your Leftovers Day, so if you haven't done so lately, pitch that s***! And, don't wait until November 29, 2024, to clean out your fridge again...

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 28, 2023 at 11:33pm
November 28, 2023 at 11:33pm
#1060274
Written for "Invalid Item, prompt: National French Toast Day

But is it a French? It doesn't even require French bread, and it's not French fried (although that may be good).

When I saw it was National French Toast Day, I thought this would be an interesting idea to look into, especially since I like French Toast. My favorite so far is dipping Finnish Cardamom bread into beaten eggs and serving with butter. But would that still be French Toast, or would it now be Finnish Toast?

In Roman times it was Pan Dulcis, and is also known as German Toast, eggy toast, gypsy toast, and pain perdu (lost bread in French). It was sometimes considered a desert dish, or a way of using up stale bread and goes back as far as the 5th century AD.

So in answer to my earlier question, no. French toast is not French. So how did it become known as French toast? Poor grammar! Yes, in 1724 Joseph French (according to legend) invented a dish that was already invented, but apparently not well known at that time. He wanted to name the dish after himself, Joseph French, but forgot the apostrophe and the s, so it was simply French Toast.

How true this is I do not know, but it makes sense, and I can see even today where people think they have something new and publish it in a cookbook or other media under a name different than the foods original name. Nonetheless, it matters not. What matters is, it's National Dip Your Bread In Egg and Fry it Day...


A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 27, 2023 at 10:18pm
November 27, 2023 at 10:18pm
#1060230
Written for {{item:1985857}, prompt: National Craft Jerky Day; and it's actually written for today!

When I first read the prompt I thought, "I can write about this, after all, I was out shopping on Black Friday and encountered a lot of jerks. But this isn't that kind of jerk at all."

What struck me as odd was my wife's cousin and his wife came for a visit yesterday and being a country boy and growing up on a farm, he is big into preserving meats. They butcher beef in the fall and he bow hunts for whitetail deer as well, so he has access to really good meat and enjoys crafting his own sausage, meat sticks, and jerky. He brought us up a few gallon ziplock bags of his latest treats, some homemade jerky (two types), some meatsticks, and even some homemade pepperoni sticks.

Some are beef, some are venison, and all are super delicious. I had just finished doing a blog entry and was taking a bit of a break with my wife, who's learning to play the guitar and had grabbed a chunk of jerky to snack on. My presence seemed to make her a bit nervous, so I thought I'd log back in for a bit while I enjoyed my jerky. I opened my email and was looking at today's prompts and saw it was Craft Jerky Day, and here I was munching on a hunk of homemade craft jerky. How could I not write about it?

I've dabbled a bit in making jerky and sausage in the past but never quite mastered the art. I have an electric smoker that I have only used a few times, and my wife and I have been talking about getting a new meat grinder and sausage stuffer so we can make quality sausage at home instead of the store crap that has more salt than we like, as well as other preservatives we don't need.

I had pretty good luck in the past making sausage, adjusting recipes to our own taste and I even wrote them down, but the grinder we used developed a crack in the housing and was impossible to clean. So, sausage-making kind of slipped into past. But now, we have a local locker plant that processes locally grown beef and pork for a lot less than store prices and is so much better.

We currently have a quarter of beef, cuts from front and back, in the freezer. After all the costs were figured in, we paid about $3.25 a pound for everything. So why not purchase some pork and start making our own sausage again from farm-fresh meats?

It's time to purchase a new grinder and sausage stuffer, dig out the old recipes, and get some quality sausage again. I may even dig the smoker out of storage and try my hand at some craft jerky, too.

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 27, 2023 at 9:30pm
November 27, 2023 at 9:30pm
#1060227
Written for "Invalid Item for Sunday, November 26. I picked from two prompts, Anti-Obesity Day, and International Cake Day. I could even add in a third prompt, Good Grief Day - Charlie Brown.

How can I write on two or three prompts without covering each individually? It's just the way my eccentric brain functions. I see Cake Day and think about everyone munching down on cake. But, the cake is fattening and it's also Anti-Obesity Day which is kind of the opposite in my thinking, so what comes to mind is, Why?"

Of course, both these days are right after Thanksgiving when we that celebrate gorge ourselves on all sorts of fattening foods as well as cakes, cookies, and pies. Sure, let's have a celebration of food and then end it with Anti-Obesity after we've pigged out for three days! And, that's not to mention the holiday season quickly approaching which brings with it even more over-eating and fattening foods.

That's where the third prompt fits in, "Good Grief!"

In my demented thinking, Anti-Obesity Day should have been on Wednesday, November, 22; the day before we guiltlessly start to stuff as much food into our pie-holes as we can.

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 27, 2023 at 9:17pm
November 27, 2023 at 9:17pm
#1060226
Written for "Invalid Item, Saturday, November 25. None of the prompts inspired me so this item is on being uninspired.

I have been struggling with inspiration for most of the month. Why?

Part of it is just being so busy with little things throughout the day that it prevents me from letting my mind go to that sacred place where inspiration resides. When I write I turn inwards, which makes sense since I'm introverted. But I can't stay there long when there are constant disruptions and distractions.

Another part is the stress of the gray clouds that have hung over us since last spring when everything turned upside down and inside out. We were supposed to have one last court hearing to finally settle everything, but it was postponed until next month since my lawyer is out of the country. I believe that once that hearing is over and everything is final, both my wife and I can pick up the pieces and start moving on again, but until then it's just been hectic not knowing from one day to the next where things were going.

It helped a great deal to pack up the dogs and travel to our son's for Thanksgiving, but I went and got behind on my sleep and that also makes inspiration spotty. But, on the bright side, I got a good night's sleep last night, even though I woke at four this morning. I'm tired now as a result, but am hoping for another night of deep sleep and waking rested tomorrow morning.

I call it writer's block, and there are those who say there's no such thing, but when inspiration won't come for whatever reason, that's writer's block to me. Maybe I'm even a bit gun shy, it's been a long time since I've been able to escape into my writing and sometimes I think I'm just afraid to let myself go for fear of someone interrupting and pulling me back from wherever it is I go when I write.

Whatever it is, it's time for it to end and time to start writing some stories again.

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.



A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 27, 2023 at 7:38am
November 27, 2023 at 7:38am
#1060197
We spent a few days over the holiday at my son's and I managed to once again fall days behind in my blog. This entry is for Friday, November 24. It's not written to a prompt, but based on actual events...

While visiting our son, his wife, his daughter, their two dogs, and one cat, it got a bit crowded and chaotic at times. My wife and I also have two dogs so it was a constant task of keeping animals in check. They got along pretty well but it took a while for them to adjust. But, just having four dogs running around underfoot was trying at times. Even so, we had a good time, but it was not a restful time.

My wife's nephew is staying with us for the winter and is teaching my wife to play guitar. She's been using one of his, but since we were in the St. Cloud area, wanted to look around for a nice used guitar of her own. So, Friday we went to a few pawn shops to see what we could find. Of course, it was Black Friday, so it was hectic and busy everywhere. We found her a good used instrument for a great price at a pawn shop, then took it over to a music store to have them check it out.

They told us it was a good guitar and in terrific shape, but needed new strings and a bit of maintenance. For fifteen bucks they tightened, cleaned, and replaced the strings (the cost of the strings was separate). While they worked she picked out a strap, some picks, and a spare set of strings.

It was a bit trying driving around in a small city with heavy traffic but we managed just fine, finished our shopping and returned to our son's house. After dinner, my wife tried to play a bit on the guitar, but one of the dogs went berserk every time she strummed a cord! More chaos...

Later, after our granddaughter was in bed for the night, the dogs had finally settled down and it was quiet and peaceful, we sat and visited with a few drinks. I normally drink bourbon or brandy, but he had a good wheat whiskey he wanted me to try. It was good and I sipped on a double shot over ice for about an hour. Next, he mixed the same whiskey with cranberry raspberry juice, so I tried one as well. It went down smooth and the two tastes sent well together.

I don't know if it was a result of the chaos and hectic day, or just visiting and having a good time, but we sat up quite late visiting, laughing, and enjoying drinks. It was just us four, me and my wife and him and his wife, and it was an enjoyable evening. I wasn't paying attention to how much I was drinking, and didn't really feel like I was getting inebriated. But, around two in the morning we stepped outside to get a bit of fresh, cool air. All four of us went out and everything was fine.

But, it was a cold night and I was soon ready to go back in. I opened the porch door and got about halfway to the inside door when all at once gravity decided to yank me off balance and down towards the floor. I stumbled but managed to keep my feet under me, but I had just rediscovered gravity, and it was making it difficult to walk. I did manage to get back inside without much difficulty (the door refused to line up with my hand the first attempt at opening it).

I sat for a few minutes and sipped on some water then decided I'd better head off to bed while I could still fight back gravity. We were sleeping on the second floor and I knew the steps were going to be difficult. They were. But I managed to scale them, got changed, used the bathroom to wash up a bit, and went to bed.

The following morning I was up about eight, my mouth felt like some mouses had tried nesting in it, but otherwise I felt alright. I went downstairs and got some coffee which did the trick of clearing out the mouse nest in my mouth. No hangover, even though I had unintentionally drank way more than I had intended. I was alright with that. I don't usually have more than one or two drinks, so it didn't take a lot for me to rediscover the effects of gravity and how it increases with alcohol consumption. I remember something from the lower grades in school about Issac (Fig) Newton getting hit on the head by an apple and that was how he discovered gravity.

I'm not buying it, Fig was sipping apple cider (hard apple cider) and got drunk, that's how he discovered gravity and that also explains why he was sitting under the tree.. he tipped over and couldn't get back up!

A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 27, 2023 at 6:31am
November 27, 2023 at 6:31am
#1060194
Written for "Invalid Item, no prompt, 11/23

We were invited to my son's for Thanksgiving and had planned to leave early on Thursday. But, things come up, and they did. We did finally manage to get on the road about noon. We decided to take a different route, more scenic and less traffic, so my wife punched in our desire route on her phone and let it guide us along as we watched the scenery and talked.

About the time we should have been coming to the interstate, I see a sign that indicates we are coming into the little town of Bertha. This would have been fine if we had been heading down Highway 71, but we weren't. Damned Google maps had sent us in a half circle. Since we were at Highway 71 now, we turned south and completed our two hour drive without any other misfortunes. It did, however, take us almost four hours with our undesired detour. Luckily, dinner was planned for around six so we still had plenty of time.

My son had been cooking the turkey on his wood pellet grill, and when we arrived the smell was enough to drive me crazy. We hadn't stopped for anything to eat and had just snacked a bit before leaving and that turkey smelled awesome. I'm alright with turkey, but it's no favorite, however, his bird had been brined, cooked over a wood fire, moist and tender, and tasted delightful.

He started the potatoes and a few sides shortly after we arrived, timing them to the turkey. But, before the water came to a boil, the lights dimmed, got bright, dimmed again, and then we were in the shadows of late afternoon. He lives in central Minnesota, so it wasn't dark yet, but it was getting close. Also, the wood grill requires electricity to feed the chips and monitor the temperature, so the grilling was done. He had preheated the oven for a side dish, so he put the turkey in the oven to keep it hot while we tried to figure out how to finish dinner; no power, no stove.

When he purchased the house, it was set up with a gas stove and an electric stove but he didn't think the gas stove would work without power since it's electronic ignition. But, it was old enough that the burners could be lit with a lighter. We were still without an oven, but at least we could cook on top of the gas range.

Dinner was a bit delayed as a result of the power outage, so we had our Thanksgiving dinner around seven, by candle light. Everything turned out terrific despite the wobble in our gobble day feast, and dining by candlelight made the meal even more memorable.

The power did come back on later that night and everything seemed to be fine. Even though the power was out for almost four hours, the house stayed comfortable (it was below freezing outside) and we enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with plans to return home Friday; but, sometimes plans change, and once again, ours did and we didn't get headed back until late Saturday. But, a good time was had by all, and if it wasn't for us expecting company, we likely would have waited and drove home Sunday.



A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 22, 2023 at 10:39pm
November 22, 2023 at 10:39pm
#1059968
Written for "Invalid Item, prompt: National Jukebox Day.

Growing up in the 60s and 70s, jukeboxes were a way of life. They had big ones, small ones, and even remote ones on the walls of the diner booths. I enjoyed plugging a dime in and watching the arm move, select the right 45, pull it out, and drop it on the turntable. Then the needle would drop and the music would blast. For a quarter I could play three songs as compared to one for a dime, so I often would plug in a buck's worth of quarters and pick all my favorites.

I switched schools in tenth grade and finished high school in a very small town. We had one school, grade school in the basement, middle school on the first floor and high school on the top floor. The gymnasium was attached to the rear of the building, and all our dances were held there. For music, there was an old jukebox that the senior class was responsible for updating records. It was on a flat cart with coaster wheels and for the dance it was rolled out and set up for our dancing pleasure. It took quarters but played five songs for a quarter, and the money raised was used for other school events.

Even after I was out of school, jukeboxes played an important role in most eating and drinking establishments. There was seldom a time that there wasn't something playing on the jukebox and there were no televisions in sight. Now, it seems jukeboxes have faded into the background but there are still a few around. About ten years ago, while traveling, my wife and I stopped by a bakery in a small town that had been frozen in time. Everything in the bakery was old-fashioned but still in use. In the front, there was a small diner-style eatery with an old-fashioned jukebox they had salvaged out of the town's bar.

They restored it but lacked much for 45 records. I had a bunch left from my high school days and donated them the next time we rolled through. I was happy to donate them thinking it would give younger kids a view into the past, but the owner was not going to let us escape without payment. As long as the bakery is open and under his ownership, we pay nothing to eat, grab a bit for the road, and listen to the old records on the jukebox.



A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.
November 21, 2023 at 9:21pm
November 21, 2023 at 9:21pm
#1059923
Written for "Invalid Item, prompt: Alascattalo Day.

Today is Nov. 21, Alascattalo Day; yes this entry is written on time!

But, what is an Alascattalo you may ask, I know I did. But after a brief search I found the answer. The Alascattalo is the Alaskan mascot, a cross between a moose and a walrus. There is a funny annual celebration and I can only imagine the fun Alaskans enjoy during the celebration. But, is there such a cross of animals? Is there a horny walrus on the icy rocks, or perhaps a chubby moose with tusks is wondering the Yukon. We may never know; Sasquatch knows!

In reading about the Alascattalo, I was reminded of another strange animal, the Jackalope. I did a short search and did not find any Jackalope Day, but feel there should be one in celebration of this bizarre creature as well.

For those who believe, the Jackalope is said to be an antlered species of rabbit, sometimes rumored to be extinct. One of the rarest animals in the world, it is a cross between a now extinct pygmy-deer and a species of killer-rabbit. However, occasional sightings of this rare creature continue to occur, with small pockets of Jackalope populations persisting in the American West. The antlered species of rabbit are brownish in color, weight between three and five pounds, and move with lightning speeds of up to 90 miles per hour. They are said to be vicious when attacked and use their antlers to fight, thus they are sometimes called the “warrior rabbit.” The Jackalope was first encountered by John Colter, one of the first white men to enter what would one day be the State of Wyoming.

They also inhabit other western states, including western South Dakota. There are rumors but after having lived in the Rapid City area and spending time in the Black Hills and surrounding areas, I discovered there's more to it than just rumors. I have seen Jackalopes on a couple of occasions (or, perhaps they were just jackrabbits sitting in front of some brush). It was while consuming large amounts of beer in the hot sun that I seen these oddities of nature. I assume they were waiting for me to drop a bottle so they could move in and enjoy a cold brew themselves.

I would have hiked over to investigate further, making sure it was in fact a Jackalope I was looking at and not a jackrabbit sitting in front of some brush, but with them moving at lightning speed and being vicious, I felt it better to keep my distance. They are fast, though. I watched the pair watching me, but when I blinked, they were gone.

One day I hope to travel to Alaska. I have always longed to visit but now I also want to find a quiet spot out in the countryside to drink some beer and watch for the elusive Alascattalo.

I am also always on the lookout for another creature that resides right here in northern Minnesota, a cross between a black bear and a whitetail deer. The offspring are called, according to their colors, either light or dark Beers.


A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J.

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/2268413-Alotta-Monkey-Business/month/11-1-2023