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Wednesday, Mar. 12, 2025

6:18pm EDT

Members: 932

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Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

by Dr Gonzo

Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #2258138

This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Kåre เลียม Enga

Mar 10, 2025 at 12:57am
In response to "Isaan Part II...The Reality of Rural Life in Thailand"

I should visit Suwannaphum but being smaller than Roi Et I doubt that it's as advanced. They have some old ruins and there's a place I could stay.

I hope to get back to Roi Et whenever I return.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 26, 2025 at 10:55am
In response to "This Boring Life"

You'll be in bed soon. It's 23:49. (9 a.m. here; cold, cloudy)

I would try to be up by 8 a.m. in Udon Thani as I exercised in the morning and it usually was "warm" by 10.

I would watch TV at 20:30 and go to bed whenever.

Boring? Yes.

I would walk through the neighborhoods and sometimes take notes or photos. I noticed the small things.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 19, 2025 at 5:48pm
In response to "Three Out of Five Ain't Bad"

I... haven't gone back and rated the places I stayed. But... mixed reviews. I'd gladly stay in the same place in Khon Kaen and Phimai again. I'd consider the place in Korat. I would rather not stay in either place in Mukdahan.

Honesty is important in relationships, as is communication. That said, you've crossed a few lines in Thailand. Culture is only one of them. Personally, I crossed more than a few...

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 14, 2025 at 7:16pm
In response to "Life Imitating Art"

Two very different worlds.

I used white chalk sticks against the ants. Mosquitoes?

Bang Saphan is a ways south of where I want to visit. Quieter than Hua Hin? Have fun!

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 10, 2025 at 12:22am
In response to "Algorithms are the Enemy of Balanced Viewpoints"

Algorithms are an existential danger guiding us to group-think. Who wins? The wealthiest and most popular.

Fortunately, I've always been a bit of a misfit.

I hope Nada enjoys her time off in Roi Et. I dreamed about Roi Et today.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 23, 2025 at 6:46am
In response to "The Scales of Injustice"

I weight around 80-82 kg. I need to be under 80; ideally 75. I gain weight in Montana, normally lose it here.

I just ate roti (egg, banana).

For 1 baht all illusions are shattered.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 23, 2025 at 6:40am
In response to "My Mission"

Ex-pats... I found them a tad offish as well. In Udon we mostly have old (Northern/UK) Europeans... belly to the bar. Not a problem but I don't drink and football all day.

My Thai hasn't improved much but my understanding of the culture has.

One does have to be careful about generosity. It's not perceived the same here. When someone starts to treat me like an ATM it causes me grief. I remember being homeless and penniless. I did not beg for money; others did, but that's not me.

On a sadder note: I fear going back to you-know-where.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Jan 17, 2025 at 1:23am
In response to "The Scales of Injustice"

Your last line says it all. Congrats. Of course, you can always have additional goals, but they shouldn't rule, or ruin, your life.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 7, 2025 at 11:31am
In response to "A Prepper Newbie"

The Earth will survive... with or without humans. Perhaps our molecules will recombine into something greater. One can hope for a future regardless.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 7, 2025 at 11:27am
In response to "The Perfect End to a Perfect Couple of Days"

Joy in the simple and precious moments.

February 7, 2022 at 4:13am

#1026214

Lost

It's been a month since I last made an entry, and a month is a long time in the life of an addict.

I relapsed within days of my last entry, it seemed so inevitable now...and even then. I felt it coming, and like a train approaching the station, there was nothing I could do to stop it. And so, how will I stop it the next time?

There has come a reaction to using meth which is getting worse every time I use...panic attacks that are the most frightening thing I have ever experienced. The problem is that within days, I dismiss the effect and have justified using again.

I am lost at the moment. I know what I need to do, yet I am terrified of what I might do. I am truly sorry to all those who have supported me in the past...the guilt and shame I feel right now is almost too much to bear. Believe me when I say, I still want to be free from this drug, I just don't know how.

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