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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| Nada and I are spending our first night at our new home. There are boxes and bags strewn all over the living room floor. I won't have an internet connection until next week (thank goodness for the hotspot on my phone). There's no hot water, but fortunately, we live in Thailand where cold water is a welcome relief from the heat. The house is a small palace and there are more light switches than I care to count, let alone know what lights they control. We have water and electricity...a fridge full of food and a brand-new king-sized bed that has never been slept in. I bought new sheets and didn't hold back on the quality (or the price). You get what you pay for when it comes to linen and in life, and considering how much time we spend sleeping, in my opinion, comfort should never be compromised by price. Tonight, Nada went on her motorcycle to buy us food, and while she was gone, I went outside and watered the plants. It's been a long time since I did that, and I'd forgotten how therapeutic it is to stand with a hose in hand watering a garden. When my beautiful girlfriend arrived home, I felt content and at peace. Only a year ago, I was a mess...addicted to meth and on track to a certain death. Now it almost feels like a bad dream. I'm not sure how this change has happened, but I have a theory. Back when I was a Muay Thai fighter, I would train my ass off six days a week for eight weeks before a fight. Every night I would lay in bed and visualise myself in the ring. I wanted to win so much and imagined my hand being raised...and I never lost a fight. You could put my performance down to all that hard work, and without it, there is no doubt the results wouldn't have been as good. But, I now look back and wonder how much of an effect the visualisation might have had. When I started meditating a couple of months ago, I thought about where I was at. Yes, I had come a long way, but there was still something missing. Psychosis was holding me back, but fear of rejection and memories of loss also played a major role. I began to imagine finding someone to share my life with and getting out of the place I was living. Then, within a few weeks, Nada pulled up beside me. I could not have asked for more. She is kind and gentle. Smart and so very beautiful. She is everything I could have asked for...and maybe that's because I did. A week before we met, Nada got a henna tattoo on her lower back. When I discovered it, and knowing she doesn't like tattoos, I asked her why she had it done. She told me it was for good luck. So here we are...two people who, but for a few seconds, either way, might never have met, now living together and happy beyond our wildest dreams. |
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