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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| In Thailand, the number of Western men in relationships with Thai women is almost innumerable. There have been times when I felt I was missing out, but (thank God) common sense prevailed and I held back, hoping to gain more knowledge on the dos and don'ts of getting involved with a female here in the land of smiles. I remember going out to a restaurant one night not long after arriving in Hua Hin. The waitress was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her name was Cookie, and after I bought her a drink, I asked if she would come home with me. The people I was with that night had told me she was a Freelancer (meaning for the right price, she would have sex with me) but it turned out they were wrong...or she was being choosy because she had never seen me before or simply didn't like me. In any case, as I dejectedly walked home, I was very disappointed that Cookie wasn't walking along beside me. I felt like such a fool for wanting to have sex with a girl less than half my age for money, but, truth be known, I also had the thought that I should have offered her more money than even she could have resisted. From that night on, I made it a rule that I would never again offer to pay for sex. I decided I would wait until someone came along who ticked all the boxes...even if that never happened and I would never find love again. Please don't get me wrong, I am not saying there is anything wrong with engaging someone for sex and paying for it. When you choose to go down that path in Thailand, you are not only supporting the girl but helping her entire family. If that is the kind of relationship you can do without developing feelings, good for you. The trouble begins when you realise you can afford more than one night with this amazing and beautiful woman, who is likely far and away better than anything you have experienced before. My American friend gave me advice on how to avoid the Freelance/Bargirl trap. He called it the three-date rule. It seemed to work for him, but I knew my heart and vulnerability, especially once I began being intimate with someone, would lead to my demise. Long ago, I made the choice not to fuck prostitutes (barring the Cookie encounter), and just because they are far cheaper here in Thailand, didn't mean I would change that philosophy. It has nothing to do with morals or even judgement, but simply me not wanting to become a 'John'. In my opinion, when a man pays for sex, that's on him, and whatever negativity happens after the fact has nothing to do with the sex worker and everything to do with him and his choices. When a man comes to Thailand just to have fun, is IMHO, not a bad thing, and the truth is that most men who arrive without a partner will likely have sex with Thai women while they are here. If, however, it isn't just fun they are searching for, but something more substantial (love), that's a whole different ballgame and is something I am still learning about. I can offer some advice. You will rarely, if ever, find a long-term loving relationship in a bar, massage shop or through a Freelancer. These women have learned over generations how to get Farangs to fall in love with them...and once they do, get as much money out of them as they can. The scams they use (once you are hooked) vary from small hussles to taking everything you own. They know you better than you know yourself, and only an hour or two after arriving at a bar, have given you a grade of one, two or three, based on how easy they believe it will be to get money from you. YouTube is full of horror stories to do with Thai women but there are good women here too. The trouble is that they are not as easy to find, and even if you luck out and find someone you consider special, just like anywhere else, you should take your time and to get to know them before giving your complete trust. Scammers tend to show themselves sooner rather than later so look for red flags, and even though they may not initially be significant enough to warrant drastic action if they begin to tally up, there has to be a point where you make the call of what is best for you, and not her and her family's financial woes. |
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