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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| Today I did my second workout...and there were some marked differences from the first. Not just the gains, but in my first session, I noticed my eyes were always looking down onto the floor because this is where my dealer and I would meet to do the weigh and exchange...and I was looking for shards he may have dropped by chance. I was going through a million thoughts...what if I do find some? What will I do then? It will be such a tiny amount it wouldn't be worth my while trying to use...but still, for the entire session, my eyes were looking down. Today, I went into my gym, set up and put on Paul Oakenfold's Bunkka...and between sets, I danced for joy...it didn't even occur to me until later that I had not looked down once to see if there was any drug...now, that's real progress. I am still very emotional...very vulnerable and very weak...but, I am stronger than I was yesterday, and in more ways, than I can ever imagine. Today, I did not use...tomorrow, I will do my best to not use. And each day I don't, is a day closer to freedom. Thanks again for all your support and best wishes, they are words that will never be underestimated or underappreciated. |
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