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Thursday, Apr. 24, 2025

11:18pm EDT

Members: 782

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Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

by Dr Gonzo

Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #2258138

This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

ruwth

Apr 19, 2025 at 6:36pm
In response to "The End"

Neil,

As always, I wish you well!

ruwth...

Kåre เลียม Enga

Apr 6, 2025 at 1:15am
In response to "Snake Oils of Thailand"

Yes. You need to support each other.

It might rain today or tomorrow in Udon Thani. Next Sunday they may have thunderstorms in time for Songkran. Last year it went over 40°... hopefully not this year. Very hot at night though; it's definitely summer in Isaan.

dogpack saving 4premium+

Mar 31, 2025 at 10:07am
In response to "Waiting for the Rains to Arrive"

I'm glad you are doing well.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Mar 25, 2025 at 4:16pm
In response to "Stories from the Village"

We don't know the stories tucked into the pages of an unopened book. Slowly... we learn them. Pan has stories about his family and growing up that he has only eluded to. I suspect they are the source of much pain.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Mar 22, 2025 at 3:36pm
In response to "The Fox in the Henhouse"

I could've predicted it. Not the details... but a dictator with no empathy? That was a foreseen disaster.

Learn Mandarin.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Mar 22, 2025 at 1:35pm
In response to "The Fox in the Henhouse"

Let's hope the worst doesn't really happen. It's not the US that will suffer. It's the whole world (except those with lots and lots of money).

Kåre เลียม Enga

Mar 19, 2025 at 6:31pm
In response to "Life in the Slow Lane"

One day at a time ... in the present ... more peaceful.

Selling your big bike may be interesting as I haven't seen Thais riding them. Perhaps another ex-pat would appreciate it though.

I was there for Songkran last year. I can see why it's a popular festival. April is a difficult month until the rains start up.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Mar 10, 2025 at 12:57am
In response to "Isaan Part II...The Reality of Rural Life in Thailand"

I should visit Suwannaphum but being smaller than Roi Et I doubt that it's as advanced. They have some old ruins and there's a place I could stay.

I hope to get back to Roi Et whenever I return.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 26, 2025 at 10:55am
In response to "This Boring Life"

You'll be in bed soon. It's 23:49. (9 a.m. here; cold, cloudy)

I would try to be up by 8 a.m. in Udon Thani as I exercised in the morning and it usually was "warm" by 10.

I would watch TV at 20:30 and go to bed whenever.

Boring? Yes.

I would walk through the neighborhoods and sometimes take notes or photos. I noticed the small things.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Feb 19, 2025 at 5:48pm
In response to "Three Out of Five Ain't Bad"

I... haven't gone back and rated the places I stayed. But... mixed reviews. I'd gladly stay in the same place in Khon Kaen and Phimai again. I'd consider the place in Korat. I would rather not stay in either place in Mukdahan.

Honesty is important in relationships, as is communication. That said, you've crossed a few lines in Thailand. Culture is only one of them. Personally, I crossed more than a few...

May 20, 2022 at 7:04am

#1032623

Who Am I...Really?

It's been almost two weeks since I used meth, and I have to admit, I feel pretty awesome. Today, I did the double (a workout, followed by thirty minutes of cycling). The lactic acid that caused me a very sleepless night forty-eight hours after the first workout, has dissipated. My strength, although nowhere near the level it was before the last 'relapse' (I've decided that I don't like the word 'relapse' anymore, because it conjures an image of failure...and I didn't fail, I simply chose to use drugs again), is making a comeback. I don't think it will be long (injury free, that is) before I will be back to my old self (whoever that is, that is...lol).

So, the question is...who am I? Am I a junkie who will always turn to drugs whenever things go wrong? Or whenever I just feel like getting high? When I get bored? Tempted? Lured back by friends or dealers? After a lifetime of using drugs, will I know who I am if/when I kick this habit for the long term? Will I even like myself... this person who no longer gets wasted? Who got wasted for whatever and any reason you can put forth.

So many unknowns...and this might be a contributing factor towards why I have never had much success at stopping...fear of the unknown. At least when I am using, I know who I am. I may not always like the person who looks back at me with hollow eyes and a varying degree of despair, but I do understand the place and time and consequences HE must face. Me, without drugs in my life, will be a complete stranger...and I don't trust strangers...at least until they have had time to prove to me they are worthy.

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