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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| Wherever I go in Hua Hin... restaurants, shopping malls or the beach, I see Caucasian men in their late fifties-early sixties and even older, with much younger Thai women. My friend next door gave me the formula...half your age plus seven according to him is the average or acceptable age difference between the sexes. But there are other factors involved, such as if they are a married couple (who I am guessing will have less age gap than a Farang who is here on holiday and goes to a bar and 'hooks up' with whoever he meets and decides to pay for the night or week or month or whatever amount of time and how much money he has to spend. From what I have gleaned so far from my sources (two men...one has been here four years and the other has several trips under his belt) bar girls are usually one-night stands that end at midday the next afternoon (unless it is negotiated that she stay for another 24 hours). Three to four thousand baht (you do the math...but it's pretty cheap...or very expensive if you fall in love) is the consensus of my sources...men who seem to know. I've asked them many questions because I am fascinated by how these arrangements work (purely for research purposes only). From what I can gather, there are several different arrangements that my sources tell me happen here in Thailand. The Bar Girl is pretty much a prostitute. The only difference is here in Thailand, they aren't thought of in the same way as say a hooker from anywhere else in the world. Anyway...the Farang (who is usually in Thailand on a short holiday) shows up at a bar, sits down and is accosted by several Bar Girls, who, once he makes up his mind on a suitable one, will offer to buy her (or him...depending on which bar it is and if she has a penis or not...hey, don't judge) a drink. A Bar girl's first job is to get the Farang to buy her (or him) as many drinks as possible because she gets a commission on every drink he buys. Some Bar Girls don't even drink alcohol, but that's not the point and the Farang knows, or will learn, that this is just the way it works here in Thailand. Then, after several drinks, if the Farang and the Bar Girl can negotiate a fair price, they will leave together and you can figure out the rest. But, before they leave the Farang must pay the bar a fee of 500 baht. They are like an introduction agency...or a pimp without the heavy-handed approach. The girls actually get to keep the money they earn, and I'm sure, work very hard for it. However, this is not what my sources generally do and they both have different methods of using prostitutes. One uses freelancers... whom he calls and makes arrangements for a 'date'. I haven't asked him about prices because he is a bit more cagey than my other source. But I think it is safe to assume he is paying around the same price...3000 to 4000 baht for the night. The other source uses the Thai Girlfriend method. This is like renting a prostitute for an indefinite period of time. This type of arrangement usually turns into a special kind of love that can only exist between a prostitute and a Farang. She will generally live with the Farang until he either runs out of money or is tired of her constant demands for more money, in which case they can negotiate the termination contract (I've heard 2000 baht will do the trick...excuse the pun). There are some extra costs involved with the Thai Girlfriend approach. She needs to eat more than cock, so food, alcohol, phone repairs, taxis, family issues etc etc etc are things to consider when going down that route. I'm sure there are advantages and disadvantages to all these arrangements...and it is purely a functional decision made by the Farang, depending on how much time he plans on spending in Thailand, how much money he has to spend and how much he can tolerate the constant demands made by these prostitutes for more money, more gifts, more services (nails, haircuts and dresses) and always more family issues that require him to reach further and further into his cash reserves. I assume this is not always the case and that there must be some instances where a younger and prettier Thai girl would want to be with an older and more wealthy Farang man just for love and no other reason. But so far, I personally haven't seen or heard of such cases. It's different here in Thailand. It is EXPECTED that you will take care of your lady friend and her relatives in exchange for sex. In their eyes, it isn't prostitution at all, and I am being serious here. It's just the way it is. There are advantages and disadvantages to every situation. I don't want to offend anyone, but there are times when the truth needs to be said. Is there any difference between a Thai girlfriend/Farang's arrangement and a marriage? The Thai/Farang arrangement is an open and honest deal between two people and a marriage is based on love and love alone. But would you marry a guy who couldn't take care of you if you were a young and pretty girl? Would a guy need to be ambitious and have at least some financial backing for you to consider him as a partner? The point I am making here is that since I arrived here and began my research, I have opened my eyes to the fundamental roles men and women play in relationships. Men want sex and a partner who looks after them and doesn't cause them issues where there is no need for it. Women want a man who can look after her, has stability, earns enough to provide for her and any family they may have (kids included)...a man she can rely on. Sure, there are more differences than that, and I am not trying to say one is better than the other because there is no better or worse. A bad marriage is worse than a good Farang/Thai Girlfriend arrangement and visa versa. Now for the kicker...I came here on a mission... to sponsor the education of some young people...and that has not changed. I've only just arrived in Hua Hin and am still finding my feet. Last night, I went to dinner with one of the sources (Farang/Thai Girlfriend). When we ordered our food, the waitress was seriously the most attractive girl I have ever seen in my life. She is 25, speaks great English and her name is Cookie. After she took our orders my friend said to me I should offer to buy her a drink...and as soon as I realised what he was saying, my heart rate went through the roof. I am a normal functioning healthy and reasonably fit male, who in Thailand at least, is very wealthy. I haven't made love to a woman in eight years. There are reasons for this...addiction, having responsibilities caring for my mom and the fear and pain caused by a bitter divorce. I have to admit, when I looked at Cookie, my mind went to a place I never thought it would. I told my friend that there was no way I was going to pay this girl to have sex with me...that I am no John. I didn't use prostitutes in Australia and the sudden thought of using one here sent my mind into a spin. But she was so beautiful and so desirable, and I am just a man...a man who hasn't been with a woman in so long that I can't even remember what it was like to kiss a girl...to feel her skin on mine...to be intimate, even if it wasn't based on the traditional ideologies of western love. When my food came out, I couldn't eat I was in such a nervous dither. Anyway...I told my friend that he had opened Pandora's Box. And once that thing got out, there would be no putting it back. His girlfriend was tired and had to work the next day. I decided to have a couple of beers with dinner, and I hadn't finished my second one yet. They left and I stayed thinking about what I should do. I wanted that girl more than I have ever wanted anyone in my life. I sat there for a while thinking about what I should do. Once I finished my drink, I got up and walked home. The whole way I was calling myself a loser and a fool for even considering going home with a prostitute (it turns out that she isn't a prostitute, but a freelancer and the difference is she chooses who she has sex with and apparently, she is choosy). The bottom line is I couldn't even make a play for a bargirl. In my mind, I thought after all this time, I want it to be special. That when I do meet her, we will fall in love and be together forever. But that is simply a fantasy...and the reality is that it is unlikely I will ever meet and fall in love with anyone again. I am too fixed in my ways. I'm a rouge...a former junkie...an old man who wishes for something that will never happen...and there was this beautiful young girl who for a few hundred dollars, may have come home with me. I could have experienced going to bed with someone instead of going to bed alone, like I have for the last eight years and more than likely will for the rest of my life. I have two voices that talk to me when it comes to love and romance. One comes from my heart and the other is in my head. In the past, they have rarely agreed on any decision and will argue their cases fervently. But, as I sat alone finishing my drink, for the first time, they were both silent as I contemplated what to do. This morning when I woke up...I considered that I had dodged a bullet. Having sex with beautiful young women would be my next addiction, and I haven't yet recovered from being addicted to meth. I made the right decision...but will I next time? Something inside of me says that sooner or later, I will succumb to this new temptation...and I am afraid of where that will lead me. |
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