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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
| 😇 Harry a lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But Harry was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When Harry mentioned that he had 12 children. No one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. Harry couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie. We all know lawyers cannot and do not lie. So, Harry sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. Harry loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked, _"How many children do you have?”_ He answered: *"Twelve."* The agent asked, _"Where are the others?"_ The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered _“They're in the cemetery with their mother!!"_ He got the house. *MORAL: It's not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words...* |
In reply to Bhaiji's query Mother promptly said: "You will come to know it later. A man or woman who has the ego-sense the I-ness, or the sense of body-mind, can easily say, who he or she is. There is no such ego-sense functioning in this body. So whatever you say or observe in this physical vehicle – I AM THAT - WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?" "This last sentence", added Bhaiji: "was uttered with such an unearthly fervour and vehemence that it sent a thrill through my entire body. Since then I have not questioned Her about it. I stopped with awe and fear; I REALIZED at once, WHO SHE WAS"… These words of Mother exactly correspond with what Brahma, said in respect of Shri Krishna: "Men, according to the instructions of saints, always practise devotional songs and meditation to find out means to realize Thee. When their heart becomes sanctified with intense love and devotion for Thy Godhead Thou dost manifest Thyself exactly in those forms on which they contemplate in the core of their heart according to their intelligence and samskaras. Out of Thy boundless love for Thy devotees, Thou dost assume those forms to help them towards the realization of Thy Being." Mother said on another occasion: "You find that this body appears to different bhaktas in different Divine Forms. Those are only your lip expressions. You have not developed real faith in the divinity of images of God; without such living faith there is no proper realization of the Divine Ground of all those forms. In the Sastras you read about many manifestations of the Supreme Being; but those are only faint suggestions to direct your attention towards them. Just as in the Railway time-table you find the names and locations of many stations, but real experience of those places cannot be had from the Railway Guide; so to have real experience of the Supreme Being one must pass through various devotional practices which make concrete realization possible." Once a question was posed to Mother: "How can a man control the restlessness of his mind ?" She replied: "Mind is ever restless. It is its nature. It is ever seeking its own treasure the real object of its love; as long as it fails to achieve it, its restlessness does not calm down. To steady the mind one must needs focus all its forces upon one divine object or name of God. Repetition of the divine name or mantra at all times, constant meditation its meaning and on the Divine entity, which it symbolises, purify both body and mind, just as your kitchen utensils become bright and shiny by constant rubbing. When you find your mind wandering away in spite of your effort to control it, you should persist in taking the name of God, even against your disposition, either orally or by inner speech. Keep yourself in touch with the Divine thought or name, just as the kite moving about in the sky is in touch with one's hand by a thin thread. When such a direct tie is established between man and his Master, the mind will steady itself in the Mantra or Name. Then you will feel a joy emanating from the name of God, which was never experienced by you before. It is called delight in the Name. Try to devote three hours every day to this practice and increase the span gradually to six hours a day. The name of God will give you real and abiding happiness, in search of which your mind ever moves restlessly among the various fleeting objects of the world ." Mother lays great stress on Faith in God. It is the one essential condition to control the mind and to obtain success in spiritual life. She says: "Faith, steady and sincere, leads you directly to the Divine Being. But reasoned debates and discussions will make you recede farther from Him: God is the Eternal Sound symbolising PARABRAHMAN. Hold on to It and there will be no chance of your slipping away from It. Of course the strength of your hold is His, but at all times try to lay yourself down before Him with what little faith you possess. "If you want to talk, talk about Him; if there is a desire to hear, hear all about His glories; if there grows a desire to do any work, always offer your services to Him. Look upon your own body as His Temple, keep it ever pure and clean, just as you do with your shrines. Dwell upon those holy thoughts that cleanse your mind and soul. Try to find in the stainless mirror of your mind the reflection of your Real Self, the "I" of your Person. Find out who this "I" is. All your quest should be directed to discover it. You often hear people say: "Keep the mirror of your mind clean". Do it. He will reveal Himself and at the right time. You need not worry about His revelation. With what little He has given you in this life pass your days joyfully, being in vital touch with Him. "The more your doubts disappear, the nearer will be your approach towards Him. A time will arrive when you will find Him everywhere and you will be ALL ONE WITH HIM." In another letter Mother says: "In your thoughts all strength and driving force come from Him. So He alone should be the object of your thoughts and actions. Behind all your reasoning, His Guidance has to be realized. Your only business is to get on with your contemplation and worship at the appointed hour." The following words of Mother appear in a different letter: "In all affairs of life absolute reliance upon Him must be sought. Wherever you happen to be, pray to Him with as much devotion as you possibly can. There must not be any fear of transgression. He is ever with you in all forms. What ever happens to you all your opportunities and obstacles are ordained by Him. When He makes you do anything, He does it Himself; He does, He knows, He hears. The only course left to you is to depend on Him always." One more letter from Mother says on the control of the mind: "Your one duty is to keep Him always in mind; His presence will chase away all distractions; thoughts of the world cannot peep out through Him. The desire to realize Him, the Supreme Truth of all existence, will dominate all your thought processes." Mother is ever full of love for all men. This enables Her to enter into every detail of the life of Her devotees and of other persons. She looks upon all people as Her own. She finds their doubts and problems, their struggles and distractions to be Hers. She listens to them with great sympathy and understanding. She therefore possesses the Supreme Power of healing all wounds, sorrows and bereavements; so She is often called the "Great Healer" of man's woes. A small incident of Her life will illustrate what has been stated above. In the twin temples of Shiva near the lakes in South Calcutta, Mother sat in the S.E. corner of the Temple hall one morning; then the Ekdalia Ashram was not built. A crowd assembled in the small hall to celebrate the Holi festival with Mother. A large number of ladies pressed hard round Mother's body. Mother sat almost bundled up. The temperature was high, the rush of people was too tense for Her. Many persons sitting round Mother were profusely perspiring. It was felt that the pressure of people had become almost oppressive and suffocating to Mother. The following questions, to Mother and the answers they elicited from Her are given below: Question: Mother, why do you allow these people to crowd round your body? Answer: Perhaps this body draws them so close to it. It is not their fault. Q. Don't you find it highly oppressive and disgusting, Mother? A. No. It is a great pleasure to me to find them pressing so close to me. Q. Ma, we feel it awfully boring to have such a crowd pestering us with tales of their domestic troubles and worries. A. Because you feel that your own body and theirs are distinctly separate. As you do not feel the weight of your head, of hands and feet, of so many fingers and toes, of legs and thighs, to be a burden nor a heavy load upon yourself because you feel they are but vital parts of your own body, so do I feel that these persons are all organic members of THIS BODY; so I don't feel their pressure nor find their worries weighing upon me. Their joys and sorrows, problems and their solutions, I feel to be vitally mine. Their acts and awards, too, are essentially mine, I have no ego-sense, nor conception of separateness. Each one of you have the "height and depth of eternity" in me equally. These experiences of Mother, quoted above, find their echoes in these lines: "How wonderful! In Me, the shore-less expanse of My Being, the ripples of individual selves rise, strike each other down, play about for some time and then finally merge themselves into Me according to their nature." There assembled one day some devotees before Mother at the Kishenpur Ashram. Mother said to them: "You have brought down this body to the physical plane for accomplishing your work here below, for your spiritual uplift." She added : "I am ever with each one of you, wherever you happen to be. But your vision is tied down to worldly matters and you have little time to direct your eyes to this body in all your thoughts and actions. What can I do? But know it for certain, that whatever you do in thought or deed, whether you are near or in distant lands, never escapes my attention." "Just as at a 'lash of torchlight your faces gleam forth in their bold outlines, all your facial expressions appear in my mind when you meditate on me or talk about me or sit down to pray to me." Though Mother with Her Body Divine soars in the higher regions of spiritual life, yet we find in Her all the highest and noblest attributes of man, functioning in all their majesty and beauty. She is intensely human in all Her ways. No human mother has such selfless, pure and glowing compassion for the distressed. The highest expressions of human life as manifested in the lives of saints, those that reveal themselves in love, charity and goodwill towards all created beings, figure prominently in all Her actions and thoughts, at all times of the day and night. There is always, in all Her manners, a heavenly glow of supra-mental Intelligence and Joy in their fullness. She carries in Her Person a perpetual source of Divine Anandam. When She rests after day-long work, She lapses into the blissful state named in our shastras 'Supti - ragara, i.e. a state in which the body is physically relaxed in light sleep but the mind wide awake in the region of the Over Mind. When She retires covering up Her body with a bed-sheet, She says: "I am just going to do my office-work now like you. I move about in other spheres of life holding conversation with higher beings. |
In my forty years of service, if at all I have to remember a General whom I really admire and respect; he is Maj Gen Randhir Sinh. He was the Deputy Military Secretary when I was in the MS Branch and later, he was my GOC when I was the brigade commander in Poonch. I have seen him from a close quarter both in the staff and also as a commander of troops. Personally courageous, he inspired sincerity and mission orientation in his command right from his first visit. Never say tired, he could walk from morning to evening and also continue in the same tempo for days with his zeal for the mission ever increasing. Addicted to his profession, he had no personal requirement and his honesty was legendary. He attracted loyalty from his command without having to make any effort towards it. Personally, I was a bit haughty and believed and prided in my own professional competence. I was also arrogant with my superiors and my vanity always thought that a superior had been placed above me due to an accident of birth for being born earlier than me; otherwise, there is not much in him to be in that place. However, misplaced these thoughts were at that point in time; naively I believed in them, then. However, with Gen Randhir, it was different. He was able to tame me by sheer unadulterated professionalism. If I argued over an issue, he would listen to me with a flicker of a smile playing over his countenance and show that my vehemence was uncalled for; and his superior thinking made its way. Alternatively, if he found some merit in my views; with the same twinkle in his eyes, he would say; “OK, try it out”: Now the problem was more challenging to me as he had turned the tables on me to prove my point in practice. Once, in one of my animated arguments I said “If at all we do what you say the reputation of the Branch would shatter into smithereens like a chandelier on a marble floor”. We were in a meeting and the way he broke into laughter only showed his Generalship. He handled me with so much maturity and understanding, and by his sheer intellectual prowess, he educated me on the nuances of higher command. Gen Randhir, himself was a graduate of the Royal College of Defence Studies in London besides was a member of the Himalayan Club. His moral standing is higher than anyone I can recount. His integrity and selflessness were so overwhelming to praise him is like pouring a cup of water into the ocean. He solemnised his son’s marriage and let alone presents, even bouquets of flowers were not allowed at the venue. After his tenure as GOC, during his farewell visit to my brigade, I thought that I would trap him with a book as a parting gift; as he was a voracious reader and a bibliophile. He saw the book and he really liked it and saw the cover price and put the money on the table. I said “like hell! I will be a bookseller to you”, and took the book back and gave him back his money. That was General Randhir! We had walked for miles on the ridges of Poonch from Pir Panjal downwards. These trudges across the Himalayas meeting troops in between for days were one of the most loving experiences we have had. He was a true soldier and never hesitated to punish his body through the most difficult terrain features. Earlier, he was also the Brigade Commander of the Siachen Brigade and accomplished himself as a true commander of troops. Loved by troops, he was there with them unhesitatingly without any qualms in perilous situations. In one such visit, I remember; we climbed very steep slopes where we were exposed to enemy fire in patches during our three hours climb. At last, we reached the post where the post commander received and briefed us. After the briefing, we were served steaming cups of tea and hot pakoras. It was one of the best eats we have had and thereafter spoke to troops, cracked a couple of jokes which in more hospitable conditions would be termed PJs, gave a pat to the platoon commander, and started our descent. All went fine till one day a month later, he called me appearing more amused than upset; his photograph devouring a big hot pakora with his mouth open; rather looking at the victim with eyes that displayed fondness was flashed across in his regimental magazine with a caption; Gen Randhir with troops at a forward post. Lo and behold! The magazine was even sent across to the Brigade of Gorkha Association in the UK and people started felicitating him; most commenting on his latent weakness to the rich fried snacks. He was rightfully complaining that his walks from sunrise to sunset in high altitudes braving extreme weather, terrain, rarefied atmosphere, and enemy fire were all forgotten, and all that the magazine could print was when he was indulging in a well-deserved interlude. I could not help but laugh out loud but was quick to modify my response with a deep- throated seriousness and said that the gross lapse in security will be investigated. It was later traced to his own staff? I have hundreds of incidents which can be narrated; however, I do remember that I used to drive him in the brigade sector for days meeting troops and unit and subunit commanders. He was a troop, General. In one of the drives up a steep slope, the snow had coagulated into ice and the entire Gipsy that I was driving was skidding. I had a tough time controlling the steering as the ice under the tire was melting under the weight of our vehicle and was not able to grip the surface. The vehicle was skidding on every turn and I thought it was dangerous as one side of the mountain slope was a steep fall of several hundred meters and the other was the hillside. I looked at him with some trepidation; however, he was sitting calm and unperturbed without the slightest hint of concern. I think it was his way to inspire; thereafter, I continued driving till we reached the destination. His elephantine equanimity inspired others in dangerous situations. He was the GOC of one of the largest divisions deployed on the LOC. He was holding the appointment for over three years, more so, when it was a norm to turnover in less than a two-year tenure. He saw through the Op Parakram in its entirety. It was literally the hottest seat with continuous shelling of arty, rockets, mortar, and small arms fire with thousands of rounds being fired on a daily basis. Such continuous firing also took a toll on the troops and officers deployed. There was no post that he did not visit in the division; a rough estimate would be around a thousand. After each casualty, he would visit the post and inspire troops by showing his presence and talking to them. He had a natural flair for leadership. What was intriguing and ironic; after a sterling performance as division commander, he was not making it to a three-star general? I believe that there was some observation in one of his pen pictures in his performance report. The Army Chief wanted to overrule it and asked Gen Randhir to put in his representation for countermanding the observation so that he could be cleared for a 3-star General. It was typical of Gen Randhir; upright and forthright that he was, he politely declined the offer of the Chief of Army Staff. He felt that it was below his dignity to apply for such concessions. His nobility and ethics were fabled. I have not come across any General who would not take such an offer to get promoted to a three-star. In the 1971 War, it was Lt Gen Sagat Singh who went beyond his mission and seized the fleeting opportunity in the battle to strike Dacca. It was the most spectacular decision in the entire war that ensured that the war ended in two weeks. Gen Sagat was a legendary general and his saga tells how one good commander can script the history of a nation. During the entire war before and beyond, his ADC was then Lt Randhir Sinh. No doubt, he picked up all the qualities of his mentor and excelled in them! Gen Randhir hails from a family of martial traditions. His father, a veteran of the Second World War, Lt Col Duleep Sinh raised the 4th Battalion of the 3rd Gorkha Rifles in 1962. He had three sons Randhir, Yashoraj, and Bharat and all three joined the Indian Army. Randhir and Bharat were commissioned into their father’s battalion. Randhir’s son Abhay kept up the family traditions and joined the same battalion. Duleep, Randhir, and Abhay all commanded the illustrious battalion in their times. Three generations of officers commanded the same battalion in their own times. If that is not enough, Gen Randhir’s maternal uncle served in the same unit and his son is presently a serving officer in the same unit. Great traditions that make the Indian Army invincible! Aren’t we amazed at the contribution of one family to the defence of the country? Gen Randhir after his retirement settled down in his ancestral house, Ramgambir Mahal in Rajpipla near Baroda. He is an author of several books and articles; the chief among them was “A Talent for War; A Military Biography of Lt Gen Sagat Singh”. He has co-authored a fiction with his daughter-in-law, Karuna, a litterateur in her own right. Once, I playfully asked him if he had written in the introduction: “If not for Karun’s help, I could have finished the book in half the time”; seemingly drawing a parallel from PG Wodehouse. He just laughed it out and said that she was brilliant. In the last week of Dec 2021, he had made a trip to Bangalore to deliver his experiences of the 1971 War to the Airforce Training Command. I was in Pune and drove down to meet him. We just had an evening together and he invited us for dinner. He received my wife and I at the carpark. We had a lovely dinner and it was so nostalgic and invigorating to talk of our times: Veterans love to talk to each other about their operational experiences and laugh and rejoice in their past exploits. I bid him goodbye at the carpark. Ominously; a thought flashed across my mind; will we ever meet again? It was an unwelcome thought and I quickly banished it with the contempt it deserved and hauteur I could command. Why did such a thought ever come? I have no answer. The final verdict God gives to humans is the way they leave their mortal world. Great souls are absorbed in samadhi as God would not want to trouble them with illness and pain in death. On 21 Mar 2022, he was perfectly bright and went to bed as usual. The next morning, he did not get up as he had passed away in sleep. The Noblest of souls are gifted with such deaths. In Gen Randhir’s case, if we human beings cannot miss out on his goodness; will God ever miss it? He leaves behind Gayatri, his wife who enabled him to be what he was. The world around him is poorer without him. The values he treasured live in hundreds of officers and soldiers who have had the privilege to serve in his command. They would be passed on from generation to generation to keep the Indian Army dauntless inni war. Om Shanti Om!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 |
| Question: "If the Real remains what it is, what then do ascent and descent mean?" Mataji: "What you say represents a particular viewpoint of the world. Where the Ultimate, the Supreme is, the question you ask is impossible. On a certain plane, descent and ascent exist. It is you who say: 'God descends'. On the other hand, there is no such thing as descent: where He is, there He remains, and all possibilities are contained in Him. To understand intellectually - which means to 'stand under' ('bhoja' means 'to understand', as well as 'burden'), in other words, to be burdened by mental conceptions - prevents one from grasping the Truth. Again, to what can you attain? It is already present here itself! Anything found will be lost again. To prepare oneself for the revelation of That which eternally IS, there are injunctions, numerous paths. But do you not see, every path must come to an end; in other words, you should concentrate upon that imagination which will sweep away all other imaginations and having gone beyond all imagination, there is the revelation of THAT, which you really are. The beauty of it is that man's very nature is to long for Reality, Supreme Wisdom, Divine Joy; as it is his nature to return home when the Play is over. The stage of the Play is His, the Play His as well, and so are those who take part in it, friends and fellow-beings - everything is He alone. Surely, ignorance is not what one seeks. To aspire to Immortality is man's true nature - or is death desirable? The world is concerned with the knowledge that is ignorance. Although it is true, even here one can observe how man builds a solid house in order that it may last for a long time, because he wants stability. At times one may tell a lie under some uncontrollable impulse, yet one feels uneasy about it. To long for the cessation of want is your very nature, and to explore and penetrate to the root of whatever you perceive. When you buy clothes you choose durable material, which will not wear out quickly; even this is an indication of your innate tendency to seek the Everlasting. It is your nature to crave for the revelation of That which IS, for the Eternal, for Truth, for limitless Knowledge. This is why you do not feel satisfied with the evanescent, the untrue, with ignorance and limitation. Your true nature is to yearn for the revelation of what you ARE." |
1) Bonds are for storing wealth and equities are for creation of wealth. 2) The biggest asset one can have is zero debt. 3) The greatest discipline in personal finance is living below your means. 4) As Ben Carlson says, emotions cannot be back tested. That’s why past bear market always looks like opportunities and future ones scary. 5) Early financial independence and early retirement are completely different. To me, the former is a blessing and the latter is a curse. 6) Don’t think how it would have been if you’ve started 10 years ago. Start today and visualise how you would feel 10 years from now. 7) The neighbourhood we live determines our life style & spending. Need to be careful in choosing one which matches our goals and personality. 8) Paying minimum balance regularly on credit card is the maximum sign that you’re getting into debt trap. 9) Many are long term investors till the next bear market. 10) Don’t take aggressive bets. Take measured risk. Remember one blunder can push you back by a decade or more in terms of wealth. 11) Big money can be made through high savings, wise investing and lots of patience. 12) One sign of progress in an individual investor’s portfolio is no churn or very less churn. 13) Trying to get rich fast is a foolproof way to lose what we have. 14) Losing opportunities is far better than losing money. Don’t invest in fads. 15) “Making as much money as quickly as possible” is not an investment strategy. Unfortunately for most of us that is the strategy. 16) Aggressive strategy cannot be a substitute for high savings. Save high and take moderate risk than saving less and taking high risk. 17) The day we realise not losing is as important as winning; we would stop blindly chasing returns. 18) Good periods are more than bad periods. By not timing, though we go through bad periods, do not miss even a single good period. 19) We’ll stop looking for quick money the moment we consider stocks as businesses and realise that our wealth grows in line with business growth. 20) There are periods of high returns, low returns, no returns and negative returns. We need to go through all these to get long term returns. 21) Listening to market forecasts is not only useless but can be very harmful too; if you start acting on them. 22) The hard truth is only around 3% of our population are in a position to aspire for financial independence. Don’t waste this rare privilege. |
*Some years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco.* *Mensa, is an international organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.* *Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe.* *When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.* *How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand?* *Clearly -- this was a job for Mensa minds.* *The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.* *They then called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.* *"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains pepper..."* *But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted & said...* *"Oh -- sorry about that."* *She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.* *There was dead silence at the Mensa table.* *For most of the problems in our lives there are simple solutions, but it is our “Brilliant” minds that complicate every simple solution. ...Change the Caps and enjoy life !!* *Take a re-look at life, you will find non issues mostly!* *CHILL ENJOY LIFE.* Be Happy.Keep Smiling. |
| "Widen your shriveled heart, make the interests of others your own and serve them as much as you can by sympathy and kindness. . . So long as one enjoys the things of this world and has needs and wants, it is necessary to minister to the needs of one's fellow men. Otherwise one cannot be called a human being. Whenever you have the opportunity, give to the poor, feed the hungry, nurse the sick - do service as a religious duty and you will come to know by direct perception that the person served, the one who serves and the act of service are separate only in appearance. In order to be able to really serve the whole world in a universal manner, it is necessary to pray to the Fountainhead of all Power or to repeat His Name or to contemplate on Him. Without full power, full success does not come." |
1. " Whenever you Feel a negative emotion - BE ALONE - In a room and just sit down with it and FEEL. Don't Judge it, Criticize it, Intellectualize it or Explain it away. ALLOW yourself to Feel the pain. It's OKAY. Accompany it - Breathe into it - and after a while, you'll feel the anger or fear or sadness Lose it's urgency and power. Allow GOD to tenderly EMBRACE you in your pain. And then, At the Right Time, You Can LET GO.................". 2. " Hug and kiss Whoever helped Get You - financially, mentally, morally, emotionally - TO THIS DAY. Parents, Mentors, Friends, Teachers. If you're too uptight to do that, at least do the old Handshake thing, but I Recommend a HUG. DO NOT let the sun go down without saying " THANK YOU " to Someone, and without Admitting to YOURSELF that Absolutely NO ONE Gets This Far ALONE..." 3. " Before you can Inspire with Emotion, you MUST be Swamped with it yourself. Before you can Move Their Tears, YOUR OWN MUST FLOW. To Convince Them, You Must Yourself, BELIEVE...........". 4. " I am NOT a believer in Love at First Sight. For Love, in its TRUEST FORM, is NOT the thing of Starry-Eyed or Star-Crossed Lovers, IT IS far more Organic, Requiring NURTURING and TIME to Fully BLOOM and, as such, Seen BEST NOT in its Callow Youth BUT in its Wrinkled MATURITY........ Like all Living things, LOVE TOO, Struggles against Hardship, and in the process SHEDS its Fatuous skin to expose one composed of more than just a storm of EMOTION – one of LOYALTY and DIVINE FRIENDSHIP. And though it may be TEMPORARILY Blinded by Adversity, it NEVER GIVES IN or GIVES UP, Holding TIGHT to Lofty Ideals that Transcend this EARTH and TIME–while Love's Counterfeit simply concludes it was mistaken and quickly runs off to find the next real thing......." - Richard Paul Evans. SO VERY TRUE........ |
| _*HOW ENGLISH AND ENGLISHMEN MAKE FUN OF EACH OTHER*_ *Q: Can February March?* *A: No. But April May!* *Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?* *A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!* *Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?* *A: I better not tell you, it might spread!* *Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?* *A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?* *Q: Music Teacher: What's your favourite musical instrument?* *A: Kid: The lunch bell!* *Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?* *A: You’re pointless!* *Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?* *A: Transparents* *Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal* *A: A cereal killer!* *Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry?* *A: Urgent Tina!* *Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?* *A: A heavy discussion!* *Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?* *A: Nostalgia!* *Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?* *A: Thunderwear!* *Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?* *A: Trouble!* *Q: Where do boats go to when they get sick?* *A: The dock!* *Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?* *A: A Mer-Maid!* *Q:Why can't a leopard hide?* *A: Because he's always spotted!* *Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?* *A: Because then it would be a foot!* *Q: Why did the hairstylist win the race?* *A: Because he took a short cut!* *Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?* *A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!* *Q: Why did the tomato turn red?* *A: It saw the salad dressing!* *Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?* *A: To get a root canal!* *Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?* *A: Because they're all in High School!* *Q: Why was the maths book sad?* *A: Because it had too many problems!* |
" Today, many will AWAKEN with a fresh sense of INSPIRATION. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will open their eyes to the BEAUTY that SURROUNDS THEM. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will CHOOSE to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and SEIZE THE IMMEASURABLY POWER OF TODAY. Why not you? Today, many will BREAK THROUGH the barriers of the past by looking at the BLESSINGS of the PRESENT. WHY NOT YOU? Today, for many the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will RISE ABOVE their believed limitations and MAKE CONTACT with their powerful INNATE STRENGTH. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many WILL CHOOSE to live in such a manner that they will be a positive ROLE MODEL for their children. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will choose to FREE THEMSELVES from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will choose to LIVE FREE of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. WHY NOT YOU? Today, many will find ABUNDANCE IN SIMPLICITY. Why not you? Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they will CHOOSE TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT instead of what is beneficial. Why not you? Today, many will decide to NO LONGER sit back with a victim mentality, but to TAKE CHARGE of their lives and make POSITIVE CHANGES . Why not you? Today, many will take the ACTION NECESSARY to make a difference. Why not you? Today, many will MAKE THE COMMITMENT to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. WHY NOT YOU? Today is a new day! Many will seize this day. Many will live it to the fullest. Why not you?” .... - Steve Maraboli |
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