Proclamations & Confessions

"When it rains, it pours."

Pshh...

When it rains, you should take cover because a hurricane is about to flood the entire city and you don't have renters' insurance.

My oldest daughter, Brooklyn, is expecting a baby April 10th. The date is significant, but I don't have time to go into that right now. She's already having complications, her boyfriend (that she's been living with for a year) is in jail (another story there), and she's three hours away from me. Brooklyn's only 18. I'm excited and terrified.

My stepdad's car is dying a slow death, so they're down a vehicle. My mother thinks I should be her personal chauffeur. After being sick for weeks, my mom was hospitalized with pneumonia. Of course, this threw her household upside down. My stepdad is a selfish ass that refuses to do anything around the house because he works. He feels that he's doing his job, so whatever needs to get done will just wait until my mom gets better. My 16-year-old nephew lives with them. He has Asperger's, Marfan Syndrome, Hashimoto and Graves disease (it alternates because it's a thyroid problem), and scoliosis. He sees six different specialists, all over an hour away. My mother has coddled him so much that he too has turned into a selfish ass. Mom came home from the hospital Friday, but apparently can't do anything because she's still sick. It's just walking pneumonia now.

My father-in-law, who lives two hours away, had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. My brother-in-law had a premature baby in July, so apparently, neither he nor his girlfriend could be bothered to do anything for my FIL. Even though the man financially supported them for two months so they could both be at the hospital 24/7 with the baby. That family doesn't like me much. But after realizing I'm the type of person that takes charge when the world goes to Hell, he finally respects me. It may only be a sliver of respect, but it's more than I've had since we married five years ago.

After my ex-husband remarried in August he decided to stop paying child support. We were already financially strained, but losing that $200 a week was the breaking point. I had already done away with my cell phone (my hubby never used one) so the next thing to banish was the internet. Shocking, I know! I mean, who doesn't have a cell phone or home internet in 2019? Heck, the government even has a free cell phone program for low-income families. But we're not quite poor enough to qualify for any type of help from our great government. According to them, we shouldn't be making car payments. Then we could afford the outrageous health insurance they offer. Even if we could, there's no fucking way we could come up with the five grand deductable.

Alright. I'm not getting sidetracked bitching about the fucked up system. My Soul Sister, also three hours away, sent me home with one of her jetpack wifi box things so we can access the outside world now. Since she's now doing occupational therapy twice a week, (shout out to the insurance company for only covering a place 80 miles away from their home), he hubby quit driving OTR and found a local job. Angie hasn't been able to drive since her accident, so we took a road trip to pick up her hubby and his stuff from the nearest terminal.

So that's just a little bit of what I've been dealing with over the last month. I completely missed out on the WDC birthday festivities and the only writing I've done has been on forms and paperwork. My hernia hasn't bothered me too terribly much. Plus, despite suffering from exhaustion, I haven't fallen into the pit a depression. Bonus! I hoped to start a new curriculum with Ravyn and Zak on September 1st, but that did not happen. So I'm about to start working on that. I'm praying that things will settle down a tad and I can get it finished in a week. As long as I don't have to leave town this week, I think it will be doable. I'm writing my WDC To-Do List tonight, but I've already got two goals. I absofuckinglutely will get the circle journals out when Hubby gets paid Friday and I will read the 210 emails that are patiently waiting.

Fingers crossed, ya'll will be blessed with my sparkling personality again in the not so distant future.
Cheers!