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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I was happily surprised to see this newly erected at Music City Mall in Lewisville, Texas. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** One of my favorite traditions. |
| I have totally bombed the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. I feel like I've failed as a parent too. Sunday night, Mitzi continued to be ill. She was alert, but would only walk a few steps to get a drink of water. Around 3 AM, we got cozy in bed. Just as I was falling asleep, Mitzi vomited in my hair. As a parent, this was not the first time I've woken to vomit. When I turned the light on, however, I discovered that my bed was covered in a dark reddish brown liquid. Since she had only had water for over 24 hours, I knew something bad was happening. I am in a small town and there isn't an animal hospital within 60 miles. So I sat up with her until the clinic opened at 7:30. Initially, we thought she had eaten something toxic to dogs, but the vet went ahead and gave her antibiotics just in case she had a virus. They also gave her a shot for nausea, put an IV in her, and gave her fluids. I went to see her Monday evening and she wasn't doing better, but she wasn't doing worse. I got the call at 4 AM Tuesday morning- her liver had stopped functioning and she passed. The vet believes she had an illness that was rare in young dogs. Guilt. So much guilt. If I had driven to an animal hospital instead of waiting for four and a half hours saved her life? My daughter is devasted. She has been struggling with depression since my ex-husband stopped visiting two years ago. We got Mitzi a year and a half ago, as soon as she was weaned. I've kept the dogs' shots updated. I give them heartworm medicine. I make sure we don't have poisonous plants or flowers. When we had mice, I opted for traps instead of poison for fear that one of the dogs would somehow ingest it. Mitzi had become Cupcake's emotional support dog. I still don't know exactly what caused the liver failure. After realizing just how much our bill was, I knew I couldn't afford to have an autopsy done. Hell, I haven't even figured out how I'm going to pay what I've already spent. I feel like I let my daughter down. She was so hysterical, I was afraid to leave her alone in her room Tuesday night. I put her in bed with me and finally gave her a low-grade anxiety pill at 3 AM just to get her to sleep. I had officially been awake for 48 hours. We both finally slept. Seven solid hours of blissful sleep. Only to wake up and remember Mitzi was gone. I know, logically, I did not kill my 14-year-old daughter's best friend. But it sure fucking feels that way. I spent yesterday and today focused on Cupcake. I know she'll be okay eventually. Now, days later, it's finally registering in my head that Mitzi has died and isn't coming back. I'm afraid to show too much emotion because I don't want to set off Cupcake again. But I don't want to appear coldhearted. And to top off the week- last night, someone broke into our car and trashed the Hell out of it. I guess they were disappointed not to find any valuables and decided to slash the interior instead. Someone was in my driveway, in my car, just feet away from my bedroom window, and I had no clue. My husband works the night shift, so it really bothers me. I am so angry at the world right now. My heart is broken and I feel like I'm failing at being a parent on so many levels. |
| THE SUNDAY NEWS! "Sedated and passed along an incredible human daisy chain, not even their rescuers expected all 12 trapped Thai boys to live." Honestly, I haven't heard much about this story. I don't really watch television except for Acorn TV and BBC. I read my local newspaper, but nothing has been mentioned. Now that I've read about it online, I'm shocked. I don't really understand why they were in the cave in the first place. I haven't been able to find out anywhere. It's quite an amazing story. I think it's a miracle that they all survived. After reading about it, I cannot imagine what it was like for the families. The feeling of helplessness must have been overwhelming as they stood by and waited. It did seem bleak for a while, but I guess it just wasn't their time yet. |
| The prompts for your creative efforts this week are "rescue", "sacrifice", and "tears", but also "there must be an upset victory". I'm incorporating the prompt words in this entry because it's been a hell of a weekend. I am not feeling too creative. I feel exhausted. Mentally and physically. Not only has Cupcake been sick, but her dog is sick too. She's lethargic and not eating, but she will drink water. (The dog, not the kid. Cupcake has crud in her chest.) I'm really worried about the dog, Mitzi. I'm trying to be practical and not panic. I'm Super Mom, so I shed my tears quietly after everyone is asleep. I'll be taking the dog to the vet as soon as they open in the morning. Cupcake has a doctor's appointment at 5 tomorrow evening. I swear, every time we get a little money put back, something happens and we have to dip into the savings. Don't get me wrong, I love our dogs. Trixie & Mitzi are family members. Hopefully, we don't have to sacrifice too much money to keep her healthy. I'm sure the car will hold out a little longer anyway. But damn it, it always works out this way. I just have to remind myself that I'm grateful I have the money to begin with. It could always be worse. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. I don't have anyone to swoop in and rescue me when disaster hits. But I've seen first hand how bad others have it. We may have a small rental house, but we have a roof over us. We may have a car that only runs when it wants to, but it still runs half of the time. We may not have the food we want to eat, but our bellies are full. My health may be crappy, but I'm alive. If I didn't have my faith, I would fully succumb to depression more often than I do now. I don't consider myself an optimist or a pessimist, but rather a realist. Life is unfair. Shit happens. But I have to believe that in the end, there must be an upset victory. If I didn't believe this, there would be no reason to wake up each day. |
| FUN FACT FRIDAY! The Rules of Bourbon Bourbon is a completely natural product with no additives or coloring. These are the rules set by the federal government for production.  Bourbon can only be made in the United States. However, it does not need to be made in Kentucky.It must be made from at least 51% cornIt must be aged in new charred oak barrels.You can't begin barrel aging it if it's over 125 proof.It can only be bottled if it's between 80 & 160 proof.After a barrel is used once, it cannot be used for Bourbon again. |
| This week for Wild Card Thursday, I'd like you to invent your own sport. It can be as whimsical or as serious as you like. What would be the perfect sport for you? My own sport? Does anyone remember that game show Supermarket Sweep or something? The contestants ran through the grocery store shoving stuff in the basket to see who could spend the most money in two minutes. Whichever team racked up the most got to keep everything in the buggy. Or something like that. It's been a long time since that show was aired. I always thought something like that would be fun. My sport would be a little different. We could compete in a bookstore. Two minutes on the clock to see who could get the most books in a cart. Winner takes all! |
| WAR CHEST WEDNESDAYS! "Tell us about your memories of your bicycle." I had a Strawberry Shortcake bicycle with a white basket, red ribbons, and a strawberry shaped banana seat. TO BE CONTINUED |
| TALK TUESDAYS! My Brag List Cello and Double Bass player since 1994 Court Appointed Special Advocate since 2008 North American Crossbow Federation member since 2011 National Rifle Association Distinguished Expert since 2012 |
| MOTIVATION MONDAYS! I'm not much into sports. (Except when it comes to my Dallas Cowboys!) Obviously, I think gender equality is important. But I think some issues have gotten out of hand. (Like the Great Bathroom Debate.) In my book, boys are boys and girls are girls. We are all equal in the eyes of God and should be treated like equals. I mean, when it comes down to it- just do the right thing. It shouldn't be that hard to understand. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 