%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
|
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Man, I started the year off with so many grand ideas and plans that now I'm wondering if I had too much champagne when I wrote my plans for 2019. The truth is that I've always aimed higher than I should. I think I did pretty good with everything until October. I'll never figure out my need to keep up appearances. My life hasn't been a roller coaster. Oh no, that would be too easy. It's been like dodging icebergs through the cyclonic storms of the Southern Ocean- an idiotic voyage that most would avoid. I feel like I should have my shit together by now. I just turned 40. Most of the people I went to school with are living the (so-called) American Dream. I'm trying to find my dream. Or rather, which dream to pursue. So many ideas, so little time. I hate time, that judgemental bastard. More than anything, I'm tired. Not just because of my battle with chronic fatigue (thank you, Lupus!), but I'm tired of not knowing who I am, where I'm going, or even if I'm on the right path. I believe that God has a plan for everyone, but he also has a sense of humor. Cue Free Will. So I'm sure God has been amused watching me run in circles because I'm too much of a control freak to just stop and listen. My Soul Sister is taking me home with her Friday so I can clear my head and regroup. The best part of the Ozarks is the majestic feeling I get being surrounded by the lush forest. It's a snug cocoon where I can relax while the mountains stand guard around me. I can breathe. And this time, I might just listen. |
| First of all, I'm okay. Well, I'm more okay than I was two weeks ago. If I just focus on today instead of the big picture, I can have an okay day too. I've been having a lot of anxiety, over the most asinine things. The world will not go up in flames if we have spaghetti instead of chicken for dinner or if I don't go to the Friends of the Library meeting. Although I'm sure they'd be relieved that my sister can't turn up drunk and walk out with a reference book under her skintight shirt. 💃 🤦♂️ Ya'll just don't know about small-town scandal until you've heard some of her high jinx! That's another thing, why do people have a problem with gallows humor? It works for me so I really don't give a shit if makes others uncomfortable. Besides, my sister would appreciate it. So yeah, I'm a little more okay than yesterday. I'm not ready to talk to see or anyone because I just can't stand it at the moment. But I refuse to retreat anymore than I have already. So for today, I'll be sitting in my backyard watching the squirrels jump from tree to tree and thinking about all the crazy stories I could tell about my sister. While drinking a tasty mimosa, of course. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 