Proclamations & Confessions

I'm currently suffering from PMS and I'm pretty sure we're all coming down with something worse than the common cold, so I'm kind of in Bitch Mode.

My daughter and my nephew are my inspiration. Ravyn and Zak have both had many, many shit storms happen in their lives. At 14 and 15, they've been forced to deal with more than others of the same age. My job is to show them how to wade through the shit and come out smelling like a bouquet. I struggle with things too, including depression. There are countless days when I'd love nothing more than to lay in bed with the blanket pulled over my head until the sun goes down. But I can't. What will that teach them? Not a damn thing. I'm not saying we can't have a brief pity party every now and then, but it can't last more than two hours. Yell curse words (yes, my kids can occasionally let a word slip, as long as it's not fuck and as long as they're not name calling), cry your eyes out, take a two hour nap, whatever- but get it out of your system and then come up with a plan. My motivation is that they rely on me to show them how to go out into the world and be good, productive, self-reliant people when I'm dead.

Now I'm going to have some white chocolate and a glass of whiskey, so maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. But if I'm not, well then, it will be time to make a plan.

Cheers.