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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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| I keep thinking my husband will come to his senses and tell me this is all some big misunderstanding. Instead, I've discovered he has no intention of helping me in any way. Our car needs to be picked up from the shop Monday. It's in the same town he is- 100 miles away from me. In order to pick it up, the insurance deductible needs to be paid. I have the money but no way to get there. While I'm worried about this, his dad buys a truck for him to make payments on. The same amount as our car payments. I got us ahead on payments and we have 2 years left instead of 3. We've paid 20k so far and only have 10k left. And he's just going to let the bank have it back. Plus, the shop can press charges against us for not paying for it to be fixed. I'm at my wit's end. He's not even planning on filing for a divorce. He's just going to pretend I don't exist and erase the last 7 years. How can he be so cruel? He knows I can't get the car, he knows I can't pay the bills by myself, and he knows I have nowhere to go. He knows my last husband left me like this and I had a nervous breakdown. I spent nearly a year sleeping in my car and on people's couches until we got together. Why does he hate me? Fuck, I don't even know anyone to borrow a couch and I don't even have a car. I'm sending my daughter to live with people I've never met to keep her safe. I want to hurt him so badly. I'm going to start trying to sell what I can before I have to leave in a week. My ex-husband is storing a container of pictures and a few sentimental things for me, but what I can't sell gets left behind. All my beautiful books. The town has an annual city-wide yard sale, so I can't have one of my own. The only place I've found that could help is a battered women's shelter. But since I'm not actually a battered woman, I would have to have a child in order to stay there. I'm not subjecting Ravyn to that when I'm pretty sure she'll be okay with her dad's mother-in-law. I've been sleeping a lot lately, but now I'm wide awake and angry. I'm never trusting another person again. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 