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Bring Me Your Wandering Writing

by SB Musing

Rated: GC · Book · Fantasy · #2098554

Where all sorts of contest entries of 2020 come together, short story and poetry.

Welcome to my entries of poetry, short stories, of all different ways of writing...

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

And, my poetry Lair, as of March 2017 + MARCH 2020
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
For Cinn

"Pursue the Horizon - Open for Signups"

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

SB Musing

May 29, 2020 at 7:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

MirandaCookies IS IN COLLEGE You are always welcome to show me the stuff that is a little off base and then I can improve it!

That's my happy face at having a second pair of eyes besides my own, well, besides my glasses which makes it six then. I am always a fan of your reviews and improvements you give me. *nudge, nudge, starts hacking*

I feel like I had a hard time transitioning from the home to the bank. I felt like the bank was a good feel to it. I feel like maybe middle could be played with? I'll reread it giving it some waiting time then see.

And yes! I'll take your cookies!

1 Like

MirandaCookies IS IN COLLEGE

May 29, 2020 at 6:20pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Well. Yeah, so this is great. Seriously! It seems slightly heartbreaking and suspenseful. I enjoyed this. Great prompt, and execution. I do see a few things out of place, but this is just a writing exercise so I shall shush about it.

🍪🍪🍪🍪

1 Like

SB Musing

May 4, 2020 at 4:12pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey there Sumojo! Thanks so much for reading and commenting on my story! I like these characters too and Elize totally gets in her own way with things. Luckily, Mac is pretty easy going and isn't surprised by her brain being... let's say, overreactive is a good word? Thank you again for commenting and giving me feedback!

Sumojo

May 4, 2020 at 5:48am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I really like the concept of this story. Elize is ready to move on in the relationship but her fears are overwhelming her. This follows really well what we were asked for in this assignment. Elize is the one who really wants to move their relationship on to the next level but is afraid she may ruin things if she pushes Mack too far. Her concerns and his reactions to them are well portrayed. Well done.
Cheers Sue

1 Like

QPdoll

Apr 26, 2020 at 8:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hello, SB Musing

!

I have just read "Invalid Entry"

and would like to share my thoughts.

PLEASE REMEMBER, these are only my thoughts and opinions.

Overall Impression
You definitely created some sexual tension with this piece.

I think your title is where the sexual tension begins, and that's a good thing. It reminded me of a song by Salt-N-Pepa called "Push It."

Music is a great way to instill sexual tension. Excellent choice.

However, I feel this story was a bit rushed. We had 2000 words to use for this assignment. I feel like you could have worked this out to be a little longer and therefore, prolonging that sexual tension.

My Favorite Part:
The fact that they were so carefree with their affection was my favorite part.

Setting:
This story took place in a car and a bakery. A bit of description for both places might bring the reader more into the story.

Plot:

[Visit the entry for more...]

1 Like

SB Musing

Apr 22, 2020 at 12:54pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sumojo Thanks so much for commenting! I am expanding it but got caught up with where to go.

prettypoetry The class is this one right here: "Building Sensuality Class Forum"

. We're in class right now, should be going on for a month or more. But, I'm sure they'll reopen back up and you could join for what class speaks to you. It's helpful and we get good feedback!

iKïyå§ama

Apr 18, 2020 at 5:24am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

What a wonderful story of positivity and the building of great self-esteem!
Thanks for the fun read and your entry!

1 Like

SB Musing

Apr 14, 2020 at 9:42pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Luckie 🍀 Lol, I love how you sat that it's a bit disgusting but you like it. And good deal then, I hit the horror points I wanted to with the story. Thanks so much for reading and commenting on it! I wanted to have it be quick, fast, but grotesque as well.

1 Like

Luckie 🍀

Apr 13, 2020 at 10:58pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This was a fun little read! And a bit disgusting lol i like it!!! It made me wonder what these people did to end up in this situation, especially Claire and and the woman who got her thumb cut off! That made me shudder!! Great job!

1 Like

SB Musing

Apr 12, 2020 at 9:43am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sumojo Thanks so much for the feedback and I totally edited it thanks to your suggestion. I agree, it reads better, thanks so much again for reading and commenting! I didn't know how to jump forward with them so I was hoping it was smooth. I like to go painfully slow with my characters if they like each other so had to push them forward to that further time in dating and hope they played well.

1 Like

March 13, 2020 at 6:34pm

#978031

Jet BY TONY HOAGLAND

Jet
BY TONY HOAGLAND
Sometimes I wish I were still out
on the back porch, drinking jet fuel
with the boys, getting louder and louder
as the empty cans drop out of our paws
like booster rockets falling back to Earth

and we soar up into the summer stars.
Summer. The big sky river rushes overhead,
bearing asteroids and mist, blind fish
and old space suits with skeletons inside.
On Earth, men celebrate their hairiness,

and it is good, a way of letting life
out of the box, uncapping the bottle
to let the effervescence gush
through the narrow, usually constricted neck.

And now the crickets plug in their appliances
in unison, and then the fireflies flash
dots and dashes in the grass, like punctuation
for the labyrinthine, untrue tales of sex
someone is telling in the dark, though

no one really hears. We gaze into the night
as if remembering the bright unbroken planet
we once came from,
to which we will never
be permitted to return.
We are amazed how hurt we are.
We would give anything for what we have.

Love this part:

and it is good, a way of letting life
out of the box, uncapping the bottle
to let the effervescence gush
through the narrow, usually constricted neck.

You can feel it, can't you? That uncorking the bottle, the feel of it almost sighing in response to the release of pressure, going through that narrow, constricted neck. Bringing it to your lips, is it sweating? Is it slightly warmed? Is it incredibly chilled? Than the sounds all around you, the crickets, fireflies flashing their little lights and mating signs.

It feels like a July day.

2 Like • Comment

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