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 |   Life is rough...I have to write it out. |
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I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath. |
| Impromptu Soundtrackers Challenge! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Said the tired mom to the little girl, Don’t you see what time it is? Are you ever going to sleep little girl, Don’t you see what time it is? The same, the same Every single night You are making my ass so tight You are making my ass so tight Said the frazzled dad to the little girl, Don’t you hear what I say? There is shit everywhere little girl! Don’t you hear what I say? A mess, a mess A far as I can see I’m gonna turn you over my knee I’m gonna turn you over my knee Said the little girl to the mom and dad, Do you know what I think? I am all grown up mom and dad, Do you know what I think? I’m six, I’m six And that is super old I don’t need to do what I’m told I don’t need to do what I’m told Said the mom and dad to people everywhere, You can trust what we say. We beg for peace from people everywhere, You can trust what we say. A child, a child Is really such a gift But they’ll drive you out of your mind But they’ll drive you out of your mind. We swear, we swear We swear that you will find They will drive you out of your mind. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| The 12 Days of Christmas Challenge is not going out with a bang OR a whimper.....more of a full body ripple. THEREFORE...if you are virginal then look away because this one is absolutely meant to offend your delicate sensibilities. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] You’ll cum, I guarantee it’s gonna be fun We’ll do things super freaky it’s gonna be fun It’s just a tiny sting it’s gonna be fun from a small bead string it’s gonna be fun gonna be fun gonna be fun Sodomy is not a sin it’s gonna be fun When I cum I’ll leave you all shaky it’s gonna be fun Your slutty bill’s come due it’s gonna be fun In this room I’m king it’s gonna be fun So much pleasure I bring it’s gonna be fun gonna be fun gonna be fun Now I’ll satisfy you it’s gonna be fun when you cum Yes, she nodded it’s gonna be fun She’s all nice and primed it’s gonna be fun First I stick it in it’s gonna be fun Pull it out, then back again It’s a ton of fun a ton of fun a ton of fun Then she screams my name And it was so much fun Making her cum ......and a Haaaaapppyy Neeewww Yeeeearrrr.............. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Today my choice is this: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Why? John. Lennon. What makes this song so good? John. Lennon. What about the political statement of the song? John. Lennon. Yoko? No. John. Lennon. But the rest of the Beatles?? John. Lennon. Hey...did I mention....John. Lennon. |
| Yep - that down there...that video..it is a shitty version...go ahead and look it up....they are all shitty versions. And interestingly enough....it is actually a Thanksgiving song?!?! Since when do we sing at Thanksgiving? [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Pack up the car and throw the kids in, to yet another house we go. After three Christmas dinners, my patience grows thinner and my anger is starting to show, oh! Pack up the car and throw the kids in, our tempers are gonna blow! There are stains on their clothes, and a runny nose from the one who won't frickin blow! Just get in the car, did you get the kids in? I've had enough of this day. They haven't shut their mouths, since we left our house but yet they've nothing to say-ay! Get to the car and get your asses in and do it without delay! You've driven me nuts, now I hate your guts For this is Christmas Day! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| At my house we sing everything. We sing that the bathtub is filling, what we are eating, things we are about to do, the time, the weather, our clothing....basically we narrate our lives with song. Real lyrics, made up lyrics, angry lyrics. Makes no difference - we sing it. Therefore my daughter and I have the lyrics for too many children's television program songs locked into our brains. We have our favorites (The Backyardigans!!!) but there really is no soundtrack like a Spongebob soundtrack (because a Spongebob soundtrack don't stop?) We've been singing this one in our house for two months. Wait - no. Not just at our house. We can be in the grocery store and if my daughter feels slighted in any way she will sing it, they don't understand but we do and that is all that matters. So the grocery store is the reason I am choosing this song today. There are two little sets of lyrics in this song that simply cannot be more true to me. And the set for today is this: There's a sign above the line that says "Express" That means ten items or less Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk) It's Christmas [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Yep. Those fancy check yourself out lanes are new-fangled. The act of pushing buttons, which people do on a daily basis (trust me - I get mine pushed all the damn time) can be so very difficult. Here's the thing....the holidays are not the time of year to learn these things. The learning curve doesn't change at the grocery store at Christmas...it ceases to exist. If you can't do it....don't. This is not the time of year to try to figure out if the scanner is on the top glass tray or the bottom one. Oh you don't remember putting that box of cereal in your cart? I don't give a shit - this is not the time to make your final decision on the Cheerios. Hey, by the way, the number is on your fruit. It is ON YOUR FRUIT. Type it in. Don't scroll through the list of hundreds of produce items looking for apples under G for Granny Smith. Sure, there are a few items found in the produce section that do not have little stickers with codes on them, this is true. However, in the thirty minutes I have been standing behind you in this line, I have been able to inventory your cart and I can promise you that the enigma of uncoded fruit does not include apples, oranges, and grapes. Christmas is not the time of year to walk every individual item down to the end of the conveyor belt. Screw off. Send that shit down and then go pack it. You know....like the rest of us. I saw your cart, how can you suddenly be concerned about 'like with like bagging' when you threw that shit in your cart like it was a grocery dash??? I also have no desire to watch you loiter at the machine while you neatly fold your receipt and put it away then put away each individual coin and bill of your change. Yes, read your coupons, but do it in the car. Read War and Peace at Meijer for all I care...but do it somewhere else. I don't live here, and neither do you. If you are finished, GET OUT OF LINE. I know, I know....all of that makes ME the Christmas jerk....but I can count to eleven asshole. EXPRESS. Express. Oh, and Merry Christmas. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Day 759 Blogging Circle of Friends Prompt Isabel Allende sees writing as an act of hope, a communion with our fellow man. When asked by a student why do you write, Eudora Welty replied because I am good at it. We all have reasons. The majority of you that respond to the prompts have been doing so now for awhile. I asked you over two years why do you write? Are your reasons the same? Are you writing more or less? Which author do you feel describes you better? I am much more like Isabel Allende. I write for me. I write to communicate things with the universe that otherwise would never come out. I have written since I was very young and imagine that I will write down my last words just to put pen to paper one final time. A first my writing came from a dark place of sadness, even as a child. Then it changed into something wild that stems from a dark place of trauma. Things happen and I simply have to write. And write and write. I have to write that shit out. I live in a world of crayons and Nickelodeon. A world of "I wants" and whining. Sometimes the time I spend writing is the only alone, adult, use-my-brain time I am going to get. It is the sharing that I don't generally do. I write the nasty goo out of my soul....and then I am supposed to share it? I don't think so. I share some things...sometimes. But there are things that will never see the light of day because at the core of it all... I write to fill the dark spaces in my world. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Minus the onions, I live with the Grinch, A grump, a Scrooge, an all-around bitch. I call this jerk husband and I love him…I do, But he darkens Christmas with an asshole hue. He scowls down from his mountain, all green and hairy, Hating the festivities and all things merry. “But Daddy, it’s Christmas,” says my little Who, It doesn't matter, he growls, it’s just what I do. Grinching 4 Life is my motto you see, So screw the pretty shit AND the tree. Dinner…meh…and presents? Yeah great, Oh Santa’s been here? Well, I’m sleeping late. And the one thing Whoville has come to know? This fool’s heart is never gonna grow. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Day 758 Blogging Circle of Friends prompt: There are two types of December moods. The first type is the Joy To World mood and the second type is the Bah Hum Bug mood. Write a story, poem, or opinion piece about one or both of those moods. At my house we have one of each. Well, technically, we have two against one, but who's counting? My daughter and I (the one that's old enough to choose at least) and I are hardcore Joy To the World types. We are ready for Christmas before Halloween. We have shopping done and presents wrapped before Thanksgiving. We even put our tree up two to three weekends before Thanksgiving. We dive in head first and enjoy every second of it. We have our traditions and all kinds of new stuff we do. It is just our favorite and truth be told, we look forward to it all year long. My husband on the other hand, is a major Scrooge. I am telling you, this fool would let Tiny Tim die. Gifts make him uncomfortable, he doesn't want to take part in anything festive, he doesn't even KNOW any Christmas carols......it is infuriating. It shouldn't be but it is. It makes us so mad, making us feel like we could force some spirit into him, and we would if we could. I personally would tie a bow on it and shove it down his throat if it helped him spit out some merriment. All I know, as I am typing this and looking over at him sitting there in his suspiciously green shirt, is that it is a good thing there is no real Whoville or my husband would be out in the garage building a sleigh. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| So for today's post I am gonna spew a little hate. I mean....what would Christmas be if I didn't? See this song: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Oh man do I hate it. I hate Mariah Carey sooooooooo much. I hate to hear her sing. I hate to hear her talk. I hate to look at her. I have no logical reasoning for this hate but it is there, and it is not going anywhere. I think she deserves a movie like Glitter. But more so (is that possible??) I hate this song. And there is one reason and one reason only. I have a husband. I have a... "love". I know better. All I want for Christmas is NOT that. All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning home. A husband or children who ask about three hundred less dumb questions a day (you decide who does it more), more time to volunteer at school, less volunteer duties at school, a shorter winter break, more time with my daughter, a new car to replace the one that is no longer sitting in my driveway, less errands to run, fewer bills to pay, larger paychecks. And really none of that counts as a realistic reason either. I HATE it. I HATE her. All I want for Christmas is to not hear this song. And trust me.....I have not yet.....embed and move on, embed and move on. But ahhhh.....when asked to give someone a hard time the mean girl in me cannot resist. She simply cannot. She comes out and gives people a hard time on a regular basis....might as well give her a little Christmas attention. So this one is for you....lizco252 .... because my misery loves company. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Every year we take the Polar Express to the North Pole. Today was that day. We drive an hour to a historic railroad. We actually attend quite a few events at this railroad. We have gone and ridden Thomas the Tank Engine and some other more nondescript events. It is actually very cool. The train is old.....very old. They deck it out for Christmas and even the exterior of the cars are just like the ones from the story. We wear our pajamas and they read the story over the speaker. We follow along and drink our hot cocoa and eat our cookies delivered by chefs and elves. The decked out conductor comes around to punch your ticket, generally with a B for believe - easily one of my daughter's favorite parts. We get to the North Pole and Santa exits his workshop and boards the train. I have no idea what purpose this little group of buildings holds during the rest of the year...I don't want to know. By the time we get there it is dark and all you can see are the Clark Griswold style Christmas lights and the little girl in me gets just as excited as the real little girl beside me. I have no desire to have the knowledge that this is really a law office or group of medical suites. Kinda takes the holly jolly out. Santa makes his way through each car as we head back "south" giving each child the first present of the season (a jingle bell from his sleigh) and spending a crazy amount of time with each child. Which is of course the way it is since you are rocking back and forth on a dark train - not all that conducive to wonderful pics. And of course we have to "turn around" due to the caribou on the track. This will be my daughter's seventh Christmas and our sixth trip to the Arctic Circle. My younger daughter's first. Sometimes the trip home is filled with joyous caroling that, for some reason, doesn't even feel strange to be doing. A bunch of adults spontaneously singing carols in a Christmas train car?!?! Awesome. My daughter still thinks we actually go to the North Pole and I will never dissuade her. I am aware that she will figure it out...all of it.....but for now the joy and wonder that light in her eyes still make me believe. So for today....for my heart that came back from the North Pole full of love  , my choice is the following:[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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