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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| Since this is the last day of 2024 I wanted to post one last entry for the year. But, when a person doesn't have much going on, it's difficult to write anything. I do have some things going on, and even ongoing, but they are personal problems and issues that I doubt you want to read about. Hell, maybe I should write them out, then you can comment about your own problems and issues showing me mine aren't worth fretting over. I could also write about the weather, it's been pretty mild and nice lately, but it's also been overcast and/or foggy. We did get some bitter cold early on, and we had about a half a foot of snow, but the cold turned warm enough to melt off most of the snow. I would say it's been a beautiful December, except for the lack of sunshine. Now, the month comes to an end as does the year. But, who picked January to start a new year? I speak from a person living in northern Minnesota where January is the coldest month of the year, and it's even possible to see the temperature remain below zero (Fahrenheit) for the entire month. Hell of a way to start a new year! It's now 4:30 in the afternoon and it's getting dark. Sunset is still an hour away, but with the heavy, low clouds, even the few minutes more of daylight we've gained are in vain. I can see why many people in this area suffer from seasonal depression this time of year, the days are short, there's little sunlight, and it's too damn cold out to enjoy the sun when it does shine. And, that's not to mention all the added costs of living in the cold and dark, or the extra problems we must endure and/or overcome. I should be in the doorway screaming into the growing dusk, "Why the hell do I live here?" But, I have lived other places and by my choice moved back here. It's difficult in the dead of winter, but I love Minnesota (the state, not the liberalism). Besides, no matter where a person resides, there are always problems to overcome and things we must put up with; here, in the north land, I know what to expect and how to deal with it. It's like I've said for many years now, no matter where you go, there you are! I wish all of you a very wonderful New Year's Eve and hope all your wishes for the new year come true. |
| This is an observation I made the other day— not that day, the other one. Any way, I've heard complaints about self-checkouts; I'm sure you have as well. One of the complaints is, we are scanning and bagging our own items, but not getting paid (or a discount) to do the work of paid employees. Another is that by checking our own items, we are removing jobs that other's need. I'm sure there are more as well. The day I mentioned above, we had stopped at Walmart to pick up a couple of things. We had the dogs with us, so I parked at the end of the lot where they wouldn't be bothered as much by other people. The spot I picked was just behind the Pick-Up area. You know, you do your shopping online and an employee gathers your items, bags them, and then when you drive to one of the Pick-Up Spots and an employee brings your items out and puts them in your vehicle. Meanwhile, in the store, you have to fight through crowds of people, find your items, cart them up front and either wait for an infinity for one of the two check-out lanes, or go to the self check-out, scan your items, bag them, and then bring them out yourself. What's my point? It costs the same amount! You do not pay extra for the service of an employee doing all the work for you, and you do not get a discount for doing all of the work yourself. Also consider this, while checking out my wife said there were only two cashiers to check people out, yet there were also two employees working in the self-checkout area. I myself witnessed five different employees working the Pick-Up lines; how many others were wandering the store filling orders. Yet, if you need assistance, there seldom is anyone around? Oh, and one last thing to consider. We have three Walmart stores within an hours drive and depending on where we are doing our shopping will stop at any one of them if we need something only they carry. One of the items is a specif dog treat that our two dogs love, but no other vendor around us carries. This dog treat costs & $16.98 at one store, $15.98 at another, and $17.98 at the third store. Why? This is why I seldom shop at Walmart. Why do I shop there at all? Because after they run a lot of smaller businesses out, it's the only place shy of ordering them, that we can get a few specific items. |
| I've been looking for a new muse, and wouldn't you know, I got one for Christmas. Leora, my new muse showed up and was eager to inspire. But, after the last guy that applied for the muse position, Norbert Horace Wankenspanker, I was a bit hesitant. She understood, but assured me that she could and would inspire me. Leora said, "If I fail as your muse, just tell me and I'll either find a solution or go on my way. What do you have to lose?" So I agreed and she inspired me to write the following post holiday poem: Post-Christmas 'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house Nobody was moving, 'cept the kids and a mouse. The stocking were strewn all over the floor There was one on the TV, three more on the door, All the kids had grown tired of all their new toys And were fighting and yelling, making way to much noise. Mom yelled from the sofa and threw my ball cap 'Cuzz the ruckus and commotion woke her from her nap. That's when out in the drive I heard a loud clatter And ran to the door to see what was the matter; I toppled my coffee and stepped in some yuk And cursed out a word that rhymes well with truck. The sun hit the snow with all of it's might and The glare was so intense I thought I'd lost my sight, I squinted my eyes so that I could see My ornery old neighbor flipping the finger at me. Then he threw a snowball hard and so quick I didn't get the chance to call him a Dick, As fast as a baseball the snowball did fly And caught me by surprise, right in the thigh. He kept throwing snowballs and calling me names Like this was some kind of a humorous game! One hit the porch light, another the wall Then I stepped on another and started to fall, I slid over the threshold and onto the stair And just for a second, I balanced right there, Then gravity took over and was pulling me down Before I knew it, I was flat on the ground. The driveway was icy and covered in sleet, I found myself sliding right out in the street. I stumbled and slipped, but managed to stand My neighbor was yelling, "This show is quite grand!" Then, what to my dazed eyes should appear? The local police and he was getting quite near. He accused me of drinking and publicly drunk, "You're under arrest you delinquent young punk!" He took me downtown, made me pee in a cup, Inked up my fingers and then locked me up. "You have one phone call." The officer said, But I politely declined and laid down on the bed; It was quiet and peaceful, here in the keep And I finally could get a decent nights sleep. He heard me exclaim as he walked out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" |
| No, I don't think it's a ghost of Christmas past, present, or future; I'm sure it's not a ghost of any type. Last fall, after we had parked it for the winter, we had a situation with the mobile tent (pop-up camper) where someone had turned on the furnace, used up all the bottle gas, and run the battery dead. But, after discovering this, we finished winterizing it, closed it down, and locked it up. A few weeks later I discovered that someone had been in the HiLo camper I've been working on. There is not gas in the HiLo, and it had been winterized, so nothing other than the lights would have worked, but things had been moved around and one of the chairs that was stowed behind the table was in front of the table. No problem, I locked that up for the winter as well. At the time, I thought it was likely just some local kids screwing around. We live out in the country, but there are a lot of houses around us, some with various aged children. But, a week ago I went to take the Yukon into town and discovered the battery was dead. The seat had also been moved, but I thought my wife had adjusted it when she used it a couple days before. I jump started it and it seems to be fine now, and just because someone had been messing in the campers, I parked it in the garage where it's locked up. However, the car is still parked outside, and we have never had a reason to lock vehicles up. I thought about it after the Yukon, but told myself, "Stop being so paranoid, nobody is messing with the vehicles." Any way, we got a few inches of snow so I went out to clean up around the car. I decided to move it so I could shovel the snow and discovered that the door on the side away from the house wasn't shut tight. It had snowed in a bit, but nothing too serious. I also noticed, because of the door not being shut, the dome light was on. The battery was low but not dead, and thankfully the car started right up. Oh, and the seat was reclined about halfway back. I used the car yesterday to drive into town. Just me, so no one used the passenger side door and I know it wasn't open when I drove into town or home. I also would have noticed that the seat was reclined because I had set my packages on that seat. Last night, around midnight, Bellah, my wife's dog, started barking when we heard a car door shut. We looked around, but didn't see anyone in our driveway so we thought it must be next door. Now, looking back, I realize it was our car door being shut after someone had gotten inside. Now, everything is locked up and hopefully the problem is solved. In a nearby town (six miles north) there has been some problems with items stolen out of vehicles and transients seeking shelter in anyplace they can gain access. The local police did arrest one person, a transient, who had taken up refuge in someones car and pulled a knife on them when they surprised them the next morning. I notified the sheriffs office of our situation and was told to lock and secure all doors, windows, and vehicles, and to be cautious if anyone is messing around. |
| I've mentioned before how difficult it is to try and plan anything out without it getting interrupted and Monday and Tuesday verified it again. A lot of the times it's just me interrupted while trying to do some writing or work on a project. Being introverted, this messes me all up and gets to be very frustrating. Also, being introverted, it's difficult for me to talk to anyone about it, but I have tried and it seems to only make the interruptions worse. I do vent to my wife about it, but until the last two days, I don't think she really comprehended how bad it's gotten. She works rotating days at work as well as every other weekend, so Monday and Tuesday were her weekend. She had worked a double shift on Sunday and was beat and needing some quiet, restful time on Monday. Our plan was to do a lot of nothing much for the day letting her relax and do whatever she felt like while I took care of cooking. But, shortly after getting up, her mom called and got her worked up over some family drama. Shortly after she got off the phone and tried again to relax and take it easy, her sister called about the same family drama. She was trying to work on my Christmas present, something she's sewing for me, but after the two interruptions, she didn't feel like trying to get back into it, so I suggested we take a break and drive over to the state park we live by and just get away from everything. It was a nice day and she agreed, it would be relaxing to take the dogs to the park and get away from everything for a while. But, before we got out the door, the neighbor came over to visit. Not wanting to be rude, she let him in. I was getting a few things ready to bring along with us, and told him he had just caught us as we were heading out the door. He asked where, and I explained. He sat down and said, "I know just what you mean, sometimes you have to just take off to get away from people." But he didn't know what we meant because he proceeded to tell us about everything going on with him. During the conversation and a few cups of coffee, we mentioned a few times that we wanted to get going before it got too late. He claimed to understand and mentioned a few times that he should get going as well, but in the end, it was almost dusk by the time he left. I had given up on getting to the park, so I decided to start getting things ready to make dinner. Maybe if I was busy he would take a hint and go back home. He did, eventually, but by the time he departed most of the day was wasted, dinner was late, and it seemed the day was wasted. While we ate dinner, we discussed plans for Tuesday. We needed to pick up a few groceries and some meat from the butcher/locker plant, but my wife also wanted to take some time to work on her sewing project. I offered to do the shopping while she worked on her project and watched the dogs, but in the end she wanted to shop together. The plan was, get an early start so we could get the shopping done, return home and have the rest of the day for her to work on her project. Tuesday morning we relaxed with some coffee, then double checked our shopping list and by nine we were off to do our shopping. It was another nice day and we enjoyed the drive into town. The dogs were with watching out the windows at all the sites and it seemed like it would be a great day. We had driven to a town about forty-five minutes away because the grocery store there has better prices and more variety, and there's also a Walmart there and there are a few things they have that we needed to replenish. The shopping went fine and soon we were headed back towards our local town where we shop for meat at the local locker store; they carry locally raised beef and their prices are generally lower than the grocery stores Yep, it was turning out to be a great day. We had the shopping done except for the meat and would be home shortly after noon. We had already decided to get a chuck roll (it's the entire chuck of a beef) and butcher it ourselves because it's so much cheaper than if they cut it up. I was going to do the cutting while she worked on her sewing project. But, about five minutes out from the meat store, her nephew called. She explained we were heading to the locker plant, then home with groceries and the chuck to butcher out. She talked for a while and after she hung up informed me that his clutch was acting up and he wanted to know if one of us could follow him to the garage and then take him back to the trucking company he works for. We talked it over, and since he was having vehicle problems she decided that she would follow him over to the town his cousin has a garage in so he could drop off his pickup for repairs and then take him back to the town he drives out off so he could get his truck (he's a truck driver). We got to the locker plant and completed our shopping, but he hadn't showed up yet. It was her understanding that he was also at the locker, but it turns out he was still at the trucking company when he called. She told him to meet us at home so we could get our groceries unloaded and he showed up shortly after us. Once the vehicle was unloaded, she followed him over to the garage, about a half hour drive from here, then from there she took him over to where he works, an hour drive, then filled up with gas and returned home, another forty-five minutes. I put groceries away and waited for her to text me when she was ready to drive home; I had ribs ready to go in the oven for supper, but didn't want to start them too early. After I got her text I put the ribs in the oven to slow roast, got potatoes peeled, and a vegetable ready. But, I didn't want to start everything until she got home so it would be fresh and hot. In the end, we had a very good dinner of barbecued ribs, boiled potatoes, and stir-fried fresh green beans with a bit of bacon thrown in, but it was also another late dinner and another day she didn't get to relax or do what she wanted. After dinner we relaxed with a brandy and talked for a bit. She was a bit frustrated because she hadn't gotten to do much of anything she had planned. I agreed and told her I understood exactly how she felt. I also pointed out that she has the upcoming weekend off and could take the time to work on her project then; no plans, nothing to do, just relax like we had intended for this two day break. But, any day now her nephew will be calling needing a ride to go get his pickup. He's back on the road for now, but it's unsure when he will be back or when his truck will be ready. Also, there family drama is building as Christmas gets nearer and her family members are doing their best to draw her into it. As we talked over coffee this morning she told me that she was finally starting to understand why I get so frustrated when I want to spend time alone doing my thing and can't. Especially when you explain it to these people and they nod and say they understand, but then demand even more attention and time. I had told her before, but mentioned again that it seems the only way to write for me is to have someplace to go that nobody knows about and to turn the phones off. She smiled and asked, can I bring my sewing machine and come with? |
| It's been about five days and Norbert showed up again. Norbert is the muse that showed up to replace Halo; Norbert Horace Wankenspanker that is. I didn't ask him to show up, he was just at the door one day after getting fired from his previous job. He told me all about it, with the idea that I could write it out as a story. I declined since it was kind of gross and not the kind of story I prefer to write. It seems Norbert worked for a guy who pumps septic tanks, and in the cold snap we had the discharge valve froze shut and Norbert could not empty the sewage from the tank. He went into great detail, I'll give him that, detail enough that I lost my appetite, but I will spare all of you. In summary, he got his boss to help him free the frozen valve, but Norbert had forgotten to depressurize the tank, and as his boss knelt in front of the valve heating it with a torch, the valve opened, under pressure, and blasted the poor guy with the contents of the truck. I can understand why he was upset. To add to his misery, Norbert confessed that he thought it was the funniest thing ever and couldn't stop laughing. Well, up until his boss fired him. He, Norbert that is, was a bit upset that I wouldn't write it all out in gory detail for a story, but I explained that I write fiction and was hoping to write fantasy or something similar. Norb, as he prefers to be addressed, thought for a bit and then smiled and told me he had a fantasy I could write. Excited, I got myself set up to write a story. Yes, I was excited to be writing something again. Norb sat on the edge of the desk and started sharing a tale that involved three hookers, some acid, and an assortment of kitchen utensils! Yes, it was sexual in context. Well, it was more like unadulterated porn than anything, but Norb was really getting into the story. I felt bad when I stopped him and explained that I didn't want to write porn, I wanted to write a fantasy. He started turning red and his breathing made me think of a bull about to charge. Standing in front of me now, hands on his hips he yelled, "It is a fantasy, it's my fantasy!" Before I could say anything he turned and stomped towards the door, then turned again with a look in his eyes that made me fear he was going to charge me. "You wanted a muse to help you write and now you tell me you don't want to write about my story or my fantasy? I see why Halo quit, well so do I!" I never did get a chance to speak, he stormed off, packed up and out the door he went. So here I sit museless and wondering where I'll find inspiration. Maybe Santa will bring me a muse for Christmas... |
| Not completely out of juice, but pretty damn close. You may be asking, "What kind of juice?" Or something similar to this, so let me explain. Today I needed to drive into town and refill some water bottles; our water is not the best for taste and especially not the best for making coffee, so we use three gallon water bottles that we refill when needed. Normally, this isn't a problem, I put the empty bottles in the back of the vehicle, start it up, and then drive into a nearby town and refill them. But today wasn't normal. For starts, it's been cold here, bitter cold. The temperature has not risen above zero degrees Fahrenheit all week which means the vehicles are cold, stiff, and harder to start. But, they always start right up and seldom do we have to plug them and use the engine heater. Today, however, I should have plugged it in and pre-warmed the engine. I put the bottles in the back and got in and turned the key, but instead of a cold engine starting reluctantly, all I got was a low groan from the engine compartment; the battery was dead. Well, not completely dead, but low enough that it would not turn the engine over and start. Luckily, I have an old battery charger. My mother-in-law had an old Napa battery charger like they used to use in garages and shops. It has multiple settings, including a 250 watt jump start function. I put the charger on and it indicated that the battery was almost drained, so I let it charge for a bit, then switched it over to the jump start setting and tried to start the Yukon again. It started right up and I was able to complete my drive and return home without any further problems. I, of course, did not shut the vehicle off until I was back home, for fear of it not starting again. Tomorrow I'll see if it will start without assistance and put it in the garage and see if the battery is in need of replacing. I hope not, money is tight to say the least and I can't really afford to replace the battery right now. |
| The title, I think says it all. All of what you may ask, or then again, maybe you wouldn't ask. No matter, because I'm going to tell you anyway. It started some time back, but not long long ago, and it was right here, not in some distant galaxy... This is confusing, but that's what I get for listening to Norbert. Who's Norbert? That's what I'm trying to tell you. Oh fudge, let's just start over.. I've been wanting to write something for some time now, but I seem to have lost my inspiration and motivation. Halo, my muse, used to jump in with ideas as well as assistance whenever I needed it. But then she started to take off for longer and longer periods of time, and even when she was around, she didn't seem motivated to help out. So, I had a long talk with her and gave her a choice to either start musing or move on. Well, Halo made a hand signal that involves one finger and took off to join the circus. So, I've been looking for a new muse and today one showed up. I wasn't expecting anyone but there came a knock upon my parlor door and when I opened it up there was Norbert. Norbert stepped in as soon as I started opening the door, literally pushing me aside as he forced his way into my home, and then yanking the door out of my hands and slamming it shut behind him. "What the..." I didn't get a chance to finish. Norbert grasp my hand and started pumping it up and down, "I'm glad to meet you. I heard you was lookin for a muse, and I'm here to fill the position." "Uhm, I..." Again I didn't get a chance to finish before Norbert cut me off. "Norbert Horace Wankenspanker the third, at yer service, sir." "Oh, uhm. Norace was it?" "No, it's Norbert Horace Wankenspanker, the third." He was talking very slow. "I see you aint to quick with things, probably why you need a muse." he added. Then, still talking very slow, he added. "I'm here to help you with your writing, you know, to be your new muse." "Okay, Norbert, I understand and you don't need to talk so slow. My new muse you say. Have you aver mused before? What are your qualifications?" "Oh, I never been no muse before, but I did other things. In fact, just recently I worked for a guy that pumps out septic tanks. But I'm sure I can be a muse, it's got to be easier than putting up with all the crap from my last job. Just give me a chance and you'll see." Norbert turned and went back outside, but withing a minute he returned with an old battered suitcase and asked, "Where's my room? I want to get my things unpacked and then go soak in a hot tub, it's below zero out side and I had to walk. I'm froze!" "Norbert, before you get settled in, I have some questions for you and I have yet to determine if you are qualified to be my new muse." "Don't you worry none about that stuff. I'll get settled in and tomorrow I'll tell you some more about me. But for now I just want to soak in a hot tub, then get a bite to eat and settle into my room for the night." So, I got Norbert settled in and will learn more about him tomorrow. I don't know if Norbert will be my new muse or not, I guess only time will tell. |
| Last night my wife and I spent the evening making merry. Now there's a term not used very often in this day and age. I could say we went to a gay party, but nowadays that would be misunderstood by by the masses as something far different than the party we attended. I should just say that my wife's place of employment held their annual holiday party last night. We attended and had an enjoyable evening. It was a Los Vegas themed party with live music and a lot of card tables. They hired a group to set up the tables and provide dealers. Upon entering the party, we were greeted, offered champagne, and provided with a one hundred dollar bill. Not a real bill, but the type used in movies, so it looked real but was not legal tender and was redeemable for chips to use at the card games. There was also plenty of food available and free refills on the champagne as well as free tap beer, and red and white wine. As we had started out drinking champagne, we continued with that beverage until the supply ran out. Not wanting to mix drinks, I switched over to white wine for a time, but that also ran out and I refilled my glass with red wine. It seemed the majority of the crowd was drinking beer, so I was surprised when the red wine also ran out and I had to switch to tap beer. I know what your thinking, "He's going to end up getting sick." Well, having been around the block a time or two, I also was aware of the risks of switching beverages. Also, I wasn't out to get sloshed. So, I sipped my drinks slowly and made them last. I also drank water between switching beverages, and maintained a condition of feeling well and moderate sobriety. Both my wife and I decided to play Black Jack and purchased chips from a table that wasn't very busy. The young lady dealing was pleasant enough, but she was new to her job and new to Black Jack. Even so, she did well and we stayed at her table throughout the evening. At the end of the evening, chips were cashed in and the four highest winners picked cards (high/low) for a hundred dollar gift certificate good at most local businesses. I pooled my remaining chips with my wife's which qualified her as a finalists. She picked her card and won the certificate! |
| I mentioned a short time ago that I need to get back to writing but have been struggling for inspiration. In times past, I could look at various prompts and Halo, my muse, would provide some suggestions. If, while writing, I got stuck or mired down, Halo would again step up with some inspiration. But, she has been letting me down for quite some time now. Hell, most of the time I don't even know where she is. Growing tired of her shenanigans, I told her, "Halo, you have till Thanksgiving to get back to work." "And if I don't?" She sneered. "If you don't, you're done and I'll find a new muse." Well, Thanksgiving arrived but still nothing from Halo. In fact, she left me a note saying she was tired of musing and quit. She wrote that she was going to find a circus to join. Where does that leave me? The same place I've been for some time now; nothing has changed except that Halo will be in a circus with her clowning around instead of here. One thing that has changed is I need to find a new muse to provide me inspiration, motivation, and enlightenment; yes I am a musing... |
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I wear a jacket when it falls below 70.
